(Closed) Would you think I am being ungrateful/greedy/spoiled?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is this really bad form?
    Yes! Don't be greedy : (29 votes)
    26 %
    No! People appreciate knowing they can give you something useful! : (81 votes)
    74 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @Take The Reins:  I’d like to point on that “a list together of some things that I’d like, can use etc” is the EXACT definition of registry 😉 Just add more stuff to your registry and people can use that for the shower too

    Post # 4
    Member
    2063 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Why not just add more things to the registry?

    Post # 5
    Member
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I think you should do it!  When I’m buying a present for a close friend and planning to spend $$$ on it – I want it to be something they really, really want. 

    Your mom obviously wants to make sure you get the things you really want and I don’t think it’s wrong for you to tell her.

    If it makes you uncomfortable typing up a list, just tell her what those things are…. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I dont see a problem with this. How is this different from a registry? A registry is basically you and your groom making a list of things you want- usually from one store.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    14496 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @msfahrenheit:  I second this.

    OP, why are you writing up a list instead of adding more to the registry?  Also, I dont know if this is common in your circle, but for me, typically registry items are purchased for the shower and cash is given as a gift for the wedding.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2233 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would say do it, or just add those same items to your registry. 

    I also really don’t see the big deal about the MOB hosting the shower. All of the showers I have been to have been hosted by the MOB and the Maid/Matron of Honor & BMs just help out with the games or decorations. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It might help to know what items you are putting on the list. Are they personal, like clothing or makeup? Or are they shared items or items for your couple’s hobbies? 

    Post # 10
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We have a very small registry so I’ve talked to people that have said they wanted to throw me a shower about doing some of the alternative type showers. I know my aunt has been considering a stock the bar shower. We have some bar ware on our registry that people could buy or wine/liqour.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I  I would be very careful with that, as you know weddings cost a lot, and so some people may be planning to buy a gift from your registry so they don’t have to worry about it later at the wedding. I think it would leave a bad taste in some peoples mouth, to be asked to get multiple gifts if they can’t afford it. I think its ok to have some ideas floating around but I wouldn’t make a list, or be upset if people bought you gifts from your registry.

    I mean the whole purpose of the shower is for people to give you gifts for your wedding, so I wouldn’t “save” the list for later.

    Post # 12
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @TwoCityBride:  I was always taught that you buy a gift for the shower and a gift for the wedding so I don’t think that would leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth.

    Post # 13
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee

    If i was invited to your shower i would want a list of items that you actually want. Nothing worse tham spending your hard earn money on something a bride doesnt need or want. However, if a list wasnt given od probably give you a hbc or visa gift card! I always give a gift at a shower and cash or wedding gift.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5762 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Don’t worry about it. This is exactly the way showers used to be planned and done, as registries are really a relatively newer ‘thing’. Make your list and your Mom can give people ideas when they call to ask. It will be fine!

    Post # 15
    Member
    869 posts
    Busy bee

    I wish there were registries for every occasion.  I absolutely hate buying gifts because I never know what to get.  Seriously – why can’t there be registires at Christmas time. 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MalbecMe:  there can bE registries at christmas! my SIL created target lists for her family, and I have other friends with amazon wish lists. so convenient and its wonderful to get someone a present they really like.

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