Post # 1
If I gave my mom a list of gifts I’d prefer for my shower (wince)
Here is my reasons:
My mom and her sisters are basically hosting the shower (ettiquette blunder one). Reason being, my Maid/Matron of Honor, and all BM’s but one, live out of town (where the majority of family resides). Maid/Matron of Honor is in university, and takes exams 2 weeks prior to the shower, plus she lives on student loans (doing her Bachelor of Science). So she isn’t able to afford much, plus has to travel for shower/stagette. My mom wants to plan it, her sisters (and sister in law’s) WANT to do it, are all retired and have mega time to organize/plan and know the town and where to hold it.
Mom has already made it clear to me that the family desires to give me gifts that will be useful, and that I want. I have asked them NOT to use the registry, because we didn’t put a lot of stuff on it, and want to “save” it for the wedding (ettiquette blunder #25?) So she asked if I’d put a list together of some things that I’d like, can use etc. I said sure, but as I was typing it up, I felt awful, greedy, spoiled even.
Whats other’s take on this, I mean, I will do it for her sake, and I can trust her to be discreet when passing it/ideas around, she won’t email it off to everyone, but use it to suggest ideas to them. Is this the most distasteful thing ever? Am I being a bitch bride to even consider it?
Post # 3
@Take The Reins: I’d like to point on that “a list together of some things that I’d like, can use etc” is the EXACT definition of registry 😉 Just add more stuff to your registry and people can use that for the shower too
Post # 4
Why not just add more things to the registry?
Post # 5
I think you should do it! When I’m buying a present for a close friend and planning to spend $$$ on it – I want it to be something they really, really want.
Your mom obviously wants to make sure you get the things you really want and I don’t think it’s wrong for you to tell her.
If it makes you uncomfortable typing up a list, just tell her what those things are….
Post # 6
I dont see a problem with this. How is this different from a registry? A registry is basically you and your groom making a list of things you want- usually from one store.
Post # 7
@msfahrenheit: I second this.
OP, why are you writing up a list instead of adding more to the registry? Also, I dont know if this is common in your circle, but for me, typically registry items are purchased for the shower and cash is given as a gift for the wedding.
Post # 8
I would say do it, or just add those same items to your registry.
I also really don’t see the big deal about the MOB hosting the shower. All of the showers I have been to have been hosted by the MOB and the Maid/Matron of Honor & BMs just help out with the games or decorations.
Post # 9
It might help to know what items you are putting on the list. Are they personal, like clothing or makeup? Or are they shared items or items for your couple’s hobbies?
Post # 10
We have a very small registry so I’ve talked to people that have said they wanted to throw me a shower about doing some of the alternative type showers. I know my aunt has been considering a stock the bar shower. We have some bar ware on our registry that people could buy or wine/liqour.
Post # 11
I I would be very careful with that, as you know weddings cost a lot, and so some people may be planning to buy a gift from your registry so they don’t have to worry about it later at the wedding. I think it would leave a bad taste in some peoples mouth, to be asked to get multiple gifts if they can’t afford it. I think its ok to have some ideas floating around but I wouldn’t make a list, or be upset if people bought you gifts from your registry.
I mean the whole purpose of the shower is for people to give you gifts for your wedding, so I wouldn’t “save” the list for later.
Post # 12
@TwoCityBride: I was always taught that you buy a gift for the shower and a gift for the wedding so I don’t think that would leave a bad taste in anyone’s mouth.
Post # 13
If i was invited to your shower i would want a list of items that you actually want. Nothing worse tham spending your hard earn money on something a bride doesnt need or want. However, if a list wasnt given od probably give you a hbc or visa gift card! I always give a gift at a shower and cash or wedding gift.
Post # 14
Don’t worry about it. This is exactly the way showers used to be planned and done, as registries are really a relatively newer ‘thing’. Make your list and your Mom can give people ideas when they call to ask. It will be fine!
Post # 15
I wish there were registries for every occasion. I absolutely hate buying gifts because I never know what to get. Seriously – why can’t there be registires at Christmas time. 🙂
Post # 16
@MalbecMe: there can bE registries at christmas! my SIL created target lists for her family, and I have other friends with amazon wish lists. so convenient and its wonderful to get someone a present they really like.