(Closed) Would you think less of a 26yo flower girl?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2006

I don’t think I would think anything of it.  Maybe there is another title you can give her in the program tho??  Just a thought on my part, but I say Go With It!!!

Post # 4
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

I don’t think you have to stick to the "shoulds" on the this one (or on anything for that matter). If the both of you think it’s great, then go for it. And as a bonus, your flower girl won’t fall asleep before the night is through or get cranky because a lack of a nap. 😀

My 19-year-old sister wanted to be a flower girl for our wedding, and I would have too except that I wanted her as my maid of honor, and the flower girl job was already taken by my 9-year-old sister.

Ooooh, and what about a title like "Flower Lady", "Flower Gal", or "Flower Diva" and you could even have the title hand painted on the basket/bucket she carries or on a sash or a hand stitched name tag. The imagination just keeps going!

Post # 5
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think it’s awesome that you’d have her as your flowergirl.  I doubt anyone would think less of her/you, but rather would think it’s a clever way of having her in your wedding.  After all, the point is that you want her up there with you, right? 

Post # 6
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Why not just make her a bridesmaid and have uneven numbers? She’s obviously an important person to you, and in the end, she’d be standing up there with you too… 

Post # 7
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

I like the idea of a flower diva! I’d want to be one! Its fun!

Post # 8
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

ITA w/ loloeleven. She’s an important person to you, so have her as a bridesmaid.

 Have you asked her if *she* wants to be the flower girl? I would be personally very hurt if a friend considered me a close friend, but not close enough to be in the Wedding Party, but close enough to do the job of a four year old.

 Could you have her as a reader or something, if you want to involve her, but not as a bridesmaid?

Post # 9
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I agree with loloeleven also.  It’s cool that your friend thinks it would be fun, but personally if a friend asked me to be their flower girl I would feel like that was a bit demeaning and I would not agree to do it.  If you both really want to do it, then go for it, but be aware that probably at least a few of your guests will think it’s kind of odd that your 26 year old friend is doing the job of a young child. 

Post # 10
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would feel kind of weird if a friend asked me to be a flowergirl.  I do however like the idea of all of the bridesmaids carrying baskets and dropping petals.  Could you include her as a bridesmaid (even if it means uneven numbers) and have all your girls drop flowers?   I think that would be neat, and then no one would have the title of flower-girl, which seems a little demeaning.  Plus, you would have tons of beautiful petals on the aisle!

Post # 11
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m on board with a few people’s opinions here.  If she’s on board-then I say go for it.  People may think it’s odd, but remember the motto "Cause I’m the bride and that’s why" (I think I use that daily…).

If she doesn’t know she’s going to be asked as the flower girl, I’d do some heart searching before asking.  If I was asked I would feel like I didn’t quite make the cut for bridesmaid and I was a runner up bridesmaid.  I think it’s more common than one thinks to have an uneven bridal party.  But make sure you check your other maids feelings before introducing another maid to the line up to make sure there’s no hurt feelings.  Wowie, lots of people’s feelings to consider no matter what you do-good luck!

Post # 12
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I agree with the others in just having her as a bridesmaid…because I’m sure that’s what most guests would assume that she is anyway.  If she’s a good enough friend that you’re willing to skew a role in the wedding to get her involved  then I think it’s worth it to throw away the even numbers idea (I am!) and just invite her to be a bridemaid 🙂

Post # 13
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

A few months ago a friend of mine got married, she had originally planned on not having a flower-girl, but at the [very] last minute (about an hour prior to the ceremony) decided she HAD to have FLOWER petals sprinkled down the aisle. Her personal atttendant rand out and bought some roses and stood in as a flower girl. She had so much fun doing it, the petals were laid out fairly evenly…the only thing I would have changed would have been to have 2 people do it…just for the look of a pair walking down. It was a big hit with everyone…and I have to give a little credit to bridezilla for deciding to do it, it turned out well.

Post # 14
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Personally, i would just add her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. It does seem a little demeaning that your 3 other friends, that are probably just as old, are BM’s but your other friend that is next on the list has to be the flowergirl. I would think that it would cost you (in money spent on a bouquet or on a basket and flower petals) almost just as much to have her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man than it would to have her be the Flower Girl. Do the other 3 BM’s know your other friend well? Maybe they would have insight as to whether or not she would be offended or not. In the end, its your day and you get to do what you want!!  =)

Post # 15
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I think it totally depends on the type of wedding you are having.  I, personally, would find it a bit demeaning and it would look REALLY out of place at my wedding, but we are doing a black tie formal wedding.  If you are having a very causal outdoor wedding, then I think you could swing it without raising eyebrows.  What is most important is what you and your friend want…. if you both would like to participate, then all that matters is YOUR happiness!  You’re not violating any major etiquette that would affect your guests, so what they thing is not nearly as important.

Post # 16
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2007

Absolutely not weird!  I had a girl as my ringbearer.  My mom thought it was odd, no one else cared.  Do what you want!  It’s your wedding!!

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