(Closed) Would you transfer schools to be closer to your SO? Need advice…

posted 6 years ago in College
Post # 3
Member
574 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Well, our situation is slightly different, but also very similar. 

My Darling Husband is Navy and is stationed 5 hours away in school right now.  We chose for me to stay home for the 9 months he is in school to work and get some of teaching experience.  We’re able to see each other about 2x a month, but that’s purely because I work part time and always have long weekends and he is so close.

Looking back on it, I am glad we chose to do this, but it’s been really hard.  I also don’t think I would have wanted to do it for more than a year.  For me, my marriage is way more important than my career, but for these few months, it really helped us financially to put my career first.  It also helped that we are so geographically close and can see each other frequently.  

If we were further away, it wouldn’t have been as worth it to me.  Some of my family is encouraging me to stay another year once he gets sent to his first duty station since “he’ll deploy anyway” but I’m not doing it.  I want to be there when he comes home.  I don’t want to live in 2 places anymore.  

Post # 4
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It depends. Would you be able to get a comparable scholarship to a program closer to your husband? That would make a huge difference to me whether or not I would transfer.

Post # 5
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

To keep my basic reply short: Yes, probably.

I have a ton of respect for people that stay in LDR’s for a long time. I’ll be the first to admit we chickened out of ours! We were long distance for 9-10 months before deciding to hell with it and moving in together.

The only factor I’d look at from your perspective would probably be the scholarship, honestly.

Post # 6
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

No, but I went 4 years in a cross-country LDR for school. It’s just two years and you have a scholarship in a program you want already. I’d take this time for myself to accomplish my dreams and then compromise on where you take a job based on his location then.

Post # 8
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Miss Fish:  Just wanted to note, I do think your situation is a little different than others in similar situations…you guys are already married!

Post # 9
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Basically my Fiance graduated from his masters program a year before I graduated from my undergraduate. He had a great job waiting for him 2 hours away. We did the long distance thing and I hated it. When I graduated I had the choice to stay where I was to go to grad school, be miserable in the program but I would have an assisstanship. My other choice was to move in with my Fiance, start at a new school, commute there and increase my student loans. I chose to do the latter. Yes financially it was a poor decision but mentally and emotionally it was exactly the right choice for me. I don’t regret one bit being able to see my Fiance every night. On the plus side the program I switched to is 10x better than the one I could have stayed in. 

Post # 11
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Miss Fish:  I completely understand. We kept saying the same things and I was over it! I wanted to just freaking be with him! It sounds like you are ready to be there with Darling Husband too!

Post # 13
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Normal people don’t exist! I promise! We all have unusual circumstances in some way or another!! 

You’re not crazy for wanting to take the leap!

Post # 14
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Miss Fish:  Yeah, I mean my opinion works for me but I also don’t think anyone would fault you for moving close to your husband. I do know a couple of girls who have married military men mid-school and they just never went back, so you’d have to be dedicated to finding a new school with a scholarship if you wanted to continue – its SO easy to just put that aside, and I’d imagine you’ll want something of your own to do while he’s gone on deployments, etc.

For me, we were in undergrad and while I was never one to sow wild oats, I was able to form an independence and accomplishments that I didn’t know I was capable of. I cried my eyes out when he’d leave, but I dried them after two days and got on with it. Our agreement was to retain our separate schools and to do whatever we could to be together after undergrad (we were high school sweethearts, but we’d already made college plans when we got together). I can’t describe the pride and satisfaction I felt when I graduated and my then-fiancé and I started our new lives knowing we had worked to that moment and we’d chosen to be together come hell or high water. I’m not sure from your story if you’ve been separated before this 7 weeks time period, but it gets better if that’s what you choose. 

All that said,, in so many ways is my story different than yours and I don’t think there’s a wrong answer for you 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

PS – thanks for the compliment 🙂

The topic ‘Would you transfer schools to be closer to your SO? Need advice…’ is closed to new replies.

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