Post # 16
hollyberry4: I don’t think you should put your life on hold in order to be a part of someone else’s life. If you are ready to TTC, then by all means, do so. I don’t think that you should step down as maid of honor either. You are obviously important enough to have been bestowed such an honor, and by all means, why can’t you be expecting, and be Maid/Matron of Honor at the same time? Do what feels right for you. Don’t worry about anything else, it will all fall into place.
Post # 17
hollyberry4: I wouldn’t wait. People on here tell brides ALL THE TIME that no one should plan their life wedding around someone else’s wedding, so I don’t know why it doesn’t apply here.
Post # 18
hollyberry4: Absolutely yes I would continue TTC. Getting pregnant comes ahead of being Maid/Matron of Honor. If your due date is right at or before the wedding, the bride has lots of time to time to find a replacement (like 6-7 months, depending on when you tell her).
Whenever the question is turned around (is it fair for a bride to ask her Maid/Matron of Honor to delay getting pregnant?) the answers are always, overwhelmingly, that the bride has no say in the MOH’s TTC plans; and that any bride who dares to suggest it is the most extreme of bridezillas. A true friend would just be happy for you!
Post # 19
Thanks bees! I really appreciate the feedback and am excited to TTC again this month!!!! We have even decided to not try to plan or time when we have a baby (even though it would be more convenient probably to wait until spring for work) because ive been reading Bees’ stories about how often it doesn’t work out the way you plan haha! I think we are ready and will make it work no matter what month we do give birth! Thanks to everyone for giving me a better perspective!
Post # 20
hollyberry4: I’m glad you are going to continue trying…its the right decision. I was in 3 weddings this year and was so worried about being a very pregnant bridesmaid and even considered putting TTC on hold. But then I realized the brides are my closest friends and they might be upset for a little that I stepped down as a bm…but overall they would understand and be happy for me!
Post # 21
I think not putting things on hold is a good call! But I also think that unless your due date is literally at the wedding date, you could still be Maid/Matron of Honor, esp since it’s local. I am a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding in June, and based on when we will start TTC, it’s possible that I will be 7-8 months pregnant. It will be fine.
Also, glad to hear you say that you won’t stop trying due to your school schedule…. while I completely understand trying to time it when you have more time off, I can’t imagine putting TTC on hold for 9 months to accomplish that. I don’t work in education and will be returning to work, so I will take the 12 weeks allowed by FMLA and then put my LO in daycare. It sucks, but women do that (or even earlier) all the time, and the babies will all be fine in the end!
Post # 22
hollyberry4: Yes, I wouldn’t put this on hold either. You have to live your life the way you and your Darling Husband want to. You can’t make these choices just because of an event in someone else’s life. If one of you were on the fence or weren’t sure you were ready as a couple, that would be different, but it sounds like you are both ready for this. I say go for it! Make plans as Maid/Matron of Honor once you get your BFP.
Post # 23
You should DEFINITELY TTC! Don’t push your wants and dreams aside for your friends. You can do both. I’ll prioritize friends sometimes but this is way too big and important to you. If you wait 9 months that’s 9 months less you’ll get to spend with your future child.
Post # 24
hollyberry4: I would continue trying. Talk to the bride. My husband and I have a friend who got married in June. Her Maid/Matron of Honor had given birth not even a month before the wedding, and another Bridesmaid or Best Man was about ready to just give birth and it didn’t bother her in the slightest. Both of these women attended her bachelorette, bridal shower, every single event in the book. She was close to these women and it didn’t bother her. Your bride may be a little more up tight about it.
Post # 25
hollyberry4: Just saw your update. Congratulations on the decision and good luck. Fingers crossed for you!!