(Closed) Would you want an e-ring only if your SO was against marriage

posted 7 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you insist on an e-ring if your SO was against marriage?
    Definately!! I LOVE Bling and it symbolizes our commitment to each other : (40 votes)
    33 %
    No Way - It symbolizes your engagement to be married. It is silly to have a ring without marriage. : (56 votes)
    46 %
    Yes - But Wear it on the Right Hand. : (5 votes)
    4 %
    Yes - but ask for something different than your typical engagement ring : (12 votes)
    10 %
    Other : (8 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    IF I were okay with this situation, hell yeah I’d want a ring if he’s not going to marry me. I would take the marriage over a ring, though, and I couldn’t be with someone so staunchly against marriage.

    Post # 4
    Member
    11390 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I wouldn’t be okay with it. That is just me though! I know some people buy a house together, have kids, ect & never get married. If it works for them GREAT!

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    310 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    What exactly wouldbe the point of getting a ring if there wont be marriage in the future? Im a bit confused on this one. The ring wouldnt symbolize anything. And if thats the case, why does it even have to be a ring? It could just be another piece of jewelry. I personally think thats kind of silly.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6341 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    An engagement ring symbolises just that: engagement. If you’re not planning on getting married, it isn’t an engagement ring, end of story.

    I love bling and always have, and my OH has bought me some nice rings for birthdays and so on; but the only ring that is an engagement ring is my engagement ring, which he proposed with, and which symobolises our intent to marry. The others are just rings.

    Post # 7
    Member
    14661 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I dont know.  I think the e-ring symbolizes you’re getting married, and if a ton of people who just wanted a ring anyways even though they werent getting married, it’d start to change the social meaning and purpose of a e-ring.  If I were ok with not getting married, but wanted bling, I dont think I would want it on my left hand finger.   But I do LOVE rings, so I may want one, but maybe for the right hand.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I think jewelry can symbolize whatever the heck you want it to symbolize. You’re the one wearing it. If you want a diamond ring that just symbolizes your commitment but have no intention on getting married, why not? Who cares? I say people should just wear whatever they jewelry they want and attach meaning to it if they wish to. It wouldn’t really be an “engagement” ring, it would be a “we’re committed” ring, but that’s fine. Also, they shouldn’t be suprised if people think they are married/engaged, but once again, so what?

    Post # 9
    Member
    3482 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I used to be against marriage until I met my husband. I figured if I found someone I wanted to be with long-term, that was fine, but I wasn’t going to marry them, for numerous reasons I won’t go into here. But I never would have expected a ring. If I make the decision not to get married, then I accept that I don’t get the pretty dress and the party and the ring.

    If he WANTS to give her a ring to show he’s committed to her even though they’re not getting married, that’s one thing. If she’s demanding a ring and he’s unwilling, that’s where I have a problem.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Lots of people wear promise rings. I think it’s similar right? Promising a commitment. I personally think it’s crap, but to each ther own. 

     

    @linguo42: I was similar to you. I didn’t think I wanted to be married. I wouldn’t have wanted a ring that symbolized any part of marriage back then.

    Post # 11
    Member
    10714 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    A ring as a gift is okay but calling it an engagement ring with no engagement seems strange. Even calling it a promise ring would be odd… since theres no future promise of marriage either. I’d love a ring just as a gift though for the right hand…

    Post # 12
    Member
    5009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I always want more bling, but I wouldn’t call it an engagement ring. I might wear it on that finger as a sign that I’m taken.

    My cousin appears to have no plans to get married to her partner of the past decade (with whom she has two gorgeous daughters) but wears an eternity ring on her left ring finger. It’s pretty and it works for her so I’m not going to complain. If she wants to swap it for her whopping great diamond (which she has) then bully for her. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @bobsoon2bewife9887: seems kind of $ grabby to me. But different strokes for different folkes. Also, if she wants to get married and he doesn’t, this may make sense for them. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    And dont get me wrong, I like bling too

    Post # 15
    Member
    913 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    At the very least I’d have to know why he’s against marriage. If he’s against the idea of a lifelong commitment then I’d say a ring meant to symbolize commitment doesn’t make sense.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1109 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    If they’re committed to each other and choose an alternative way to symbolize it, sure. The ring can mean whatever they want it to. But people are going to ask her about wedding planning constantly and she’ll have to keep explaining it. If I were here I would ask for something a little more “wedding set”ish. But if she’s promised her life and commitment to him and she wants a ring as a present, whatever… I say she deserves it. It’s actually pretty cool that she’s so understanding of him not believing in marriage and she’s being so honest about just wanting her bling 🙂 Just call it a commitment ring instead.

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