Post # 17
Wanting an e-ring when neither of you are committed to get married doesn’t really make sense to me. Jewelry I get, but I would also expect it during a birthday/anniversary not just because. If it were me I’d be like “Cartier watch please” but it wouldn’t be me because I would want to get married.
Post # 18
@Over the Moon:
He is against marriage because his first marriage didn’t work out. He thinks every marriage will fail at some point. Very negative views.
In my opinion, a ring with a big diamond (aka as a classic engagement ring) worn on the left hand symbolizes an engagement to be married. However, if she wants a ring as a gift from him I would wear it on my right hand or pick a ring not resembling your typical engagement ring to wear on the left hand. That is just me but everyone is different. I have no problem someone else wearing an diamond ring on the left hand with no intentions of marriage. However, me personally I wouldn’t. I do agree that I LOVE jewellery and would have no problem excepting any gifts with diamonds or gold! lol!
Post # 19
Then in that case no, I don’t think an engagement ring makes sense. If you’re asking bees what they would do in that situation, frankly I would leave.
Post # 20
If they are both okay with it, what’s wrong with having a little bling to show you are “spoken for”?
Post # 21
I think a lot of people seem to be against giving/receiving rings as gifts for any other occasion besides engagement/marriage for some reason. Boyfriends give other jewelry to their girlfriends all the time, but as soon as it’s a ring it better be an engagement ring, otherwise it’s stupid. 😛 If it were a necklace or bracelet she wanted no one would have a problem. It’s a piece of metal either way. Just because it’s a ring doesn’t mean it has anything to do with marriage!
Like I said above, people should be able to wear whatever jewelry they like and if it means something special to them, that’s cool too. I don’t see why it’s anyone else’s business at all (or why it matters to anyone else).
That said, how does her boyfriend feel about this? If he’s “against” marriage, I assume he’d be uncomfortable with her wearing, what most people would recognize as, a symbol of marriage? If he’s okay with it, why not?
Post # 22
I would absolutely want a ring still. You don’t have to call it an ering if that is the problem people have. Who says a ring on that finger has to be an e-ring just because that is the norm. I love bling and would want a ring for any or all fingers, just to have bling!
Post # 23
I have no problem with that! 🙂 Hubby has given me so much jewelry its crazy!
What I meant was, no I would not want a ring without a marriage if that is why the ring was being given. If it was a anniversary ring, birthday gift just because & there would be a e-ring in the future, no problem with me! lol 🙂
EDIT: But if the couple is okay with not being married but still wants something to stand for “I am taken” then I see why they would want one still!
Post # 24
I didn’t expect my Fiance to want to get married and that was fine with me. He’s a lifelong bachelor (40) who always told his family that he’d never get married.
We did talk about getting a ring for me to wear on that finger so that other guys would know I was “taken” and not ask me out. LOL That would have been fine with me too.
Post # 25
I don’t know that I’d be OK being with someone so against marriage…so that kind of hinders my opinion right there. I see nothing wrong with him giving her a ring just because (as a gift for a birthday, Christmas, I love you, etc.) but if it was me I wouldn’t want it to look like an engagement ring. There are beautiful non-engagement diamond rings that I’d be happy with in that situation (because you don’t have to be engaged to own a diamond ring)…but to me an engagement ring with no engagement wouldn’t make sense. I’d always look at it and wish there was a wedding to go with it. And I’d be sick of people always asking ‘When’s the wedding?’ if there wasn’t going to be one.
Post # 26
why judge what other people choose to wear? there is no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to jewelry.
maybe if you wore a ring with a big sparkly center stone, people might ask / assume you’re engaged when you’re not. I would personally get sick of being asked that question. but honestly, I think this decision is entirely up to whatever the couple wants!
Post # 27
I think that is between them. Personally, I would not be with someone who did not want to commit to marriage, so I can’t really say.
I guess I could see how a ring might mean “spoken for,” but I wouldn’t want that personally. I mean, it would make people assume you are married and then what would you say?
Post # 28
Ultimately they have to do what’s right for them. However, I think that unless she wears it on her right hand, she’ll get a lot of uncomfortable questions about it being an engagement ring and comments from people when she says it isn’t. A ring would be fine and could be considered to represent some sort of commitment, but if there’s no marriage planned, it’s not an engagement ring by any stretch of the imagination.
Post # 29
I think having a piece of jewelry to symbolize their relationship is fine, but I wouldn’t call it an engagement ring. And as other PP have said, if it is a diamond ring that looks like an engagement ring, she will get a ton of questions about wedding plans, setting a date, etc. Considering her SO’s aversion to marriage, I would assume that would make him pretty uncomfortable.
Post # 30
if your arn’t engaged then i am curious as to the point of an engagement ring.
I have a few friends who are against legal marriage but still wear rings as sign of their commitment. usually not diamonds but to each thier own. if she is okay with never getting married but just needs a shiny rock to keep other men at bay i think that is an acceptable price to pay.
Post # 31
It’s not an engagement ring if they’re not engaged. It’s just a ring in such a case. So sure get a ring wear it however she wants, but don’t call it an e-ring.