(Closed) Would you want an e-ring only if your SO was against marriage

posted 9 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you insist on an e-ring if your SO was against marriage?

    Definately!! I LOVE Bling and it symbolizes our commitment to each other

    No Way - It symbolizes your engagement to be married. It is silly to have a ring without marriage.

    Yes - But Wear it on the Right Hand.

    Yes - but ask for something different than your typical engagement ring

    Other

  • Post # 17
    Member
    5843 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Wanting an e-ring when neither of you are committed to get married doesn’t really make sense to me. Jewelry I get, but I would also expect it during a birthday/anniversary not just because. If it were me I’d be like “Cartier watch please” but it wouldn’t be me because I would want to get married.

    Post # 19
    Member
    913 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    View original reply
    @bobsoon2bewife9887: Then in that case no, I don’t think an engagement ring makes sense. If you’re asking bees what they would do in that situation, frankly I would leave.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1312 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    If they are both okay with it, what’s wrong with having a little bling to show you are “spoken for”?

    Post # 21
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I think a lot of people seem to be against giving/receiving rings as gifts for any other occasion besides engagement/marriage for some reason. Boyfriends give other jewelry to their girlfriends all the time, but as soon as it’s a ring it better be an engagement ring, otherwise it’s stupid. 😛 If it were a necklace or bracelet she wanted no one would have a problem. It’s a piece of metal either way. Just because it’s a ring doesn’t mean it has anything to do with marriage!

    Like I said above, people should be able to wear whatever jewelry they like and if it means something special to them, that’s cool too. I don’t see why it’s anyone else’s business at all (or why it matters to anyone else).

    That said, how does her boyfriend feel about this? If he’s “against” marriage, I assume he’d be uncomfortable with her wearing, what most people would recognize as, a symbol of marriage? If he’s okay with it, why not?

    Post # 22
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would absolutely want a ring still. You don’t have to call it an ering if that is the problem people have. Who says a ring on that finger has to be an e-ring just because that is the norm. I love bling and would want a ring for any or all fingers, just to have bling!

    Post # 23
    Member
    11376 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    View original reply
    @DeathByDesign: I have no problem with that! 🙂 Hubby has given me so much jewelry its crazy!

    What I meant was, no I would not want a ring without a marriage if that is why the ring was being given. If it was a anniversary ring, birthday gift just because & there would be a e-ring in the future, no problem with me! lol 🙂

    EDIT: But if the couple is okay with not being married but still wants something to stand for “I am taken” then I see why they would want one still!

    Post # 24
    Member
    5072 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I didn’t expect my Fiance to want to get married and that was fine with me.  He’s a lifelong bachelor (40) who always told his family that he’d never get married. 

    We did talk about getting a ring for me to wear on that finger so that other guys would know I was “taken” and not ask me out.  LOL  That would have been fine with me too.

     

    Post # 25
    Member
    2031 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I don’t know that I’d be OK being with someone so against marriage…so that kind of hinders my opinion right there.  I see nothing wrong with him giving her a ring just because (as a gift for a birthday, Christmas, I love you, etc.) but if it was me I wouldn’t want it to look like an engagement ring.  There are beautiful non-engagement diamond rings that I’d be happy with in that situation (because you don’t have to be engaged to own a diamond ring)…but to me an engagement ring with no engagement wouldn’t make sense.  I’d always look at it and wish there was a wedding to go with it.  And I’d be sick of people always asking ‘When’s the wedding?’ if there wasn’t going to be one. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    why judge what other people choose to wear? there is no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to jewelry.

    maybe if you wore a ring with a big sparkly center stone, people might ask / assume you’re engaged when you’re not. I would personally get sick of being asked that question. but honestly, I think this decision is entirely up to whatever the couple wants!

    Post # 27
    Member
    7769 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think that is between them.  Personally, I would not be with someone who did not want to commit to marriage, so I can’t really say.

    I guess I could see how a ring might mean “spoken for,” but I wouldn’t want that personally.  I mean, it would make people assume you are married and then what would you say?

    Post # 28
    Member
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Ultimately they have to do what’s right for them. However, I think that unless she wears it on her right hand, she’ll get a lot of uncomfortable questions about it being an engagement ring and comments from people when she says it isn’t. A ring would be fine and could be considered to represent some sort of commitment, but if there’s no marriage planned, it’s not an engagement ring by any stretch of the imagination.

    Post # 29
    Member
    2432 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think having a piece of jewelry to symbolize their relationship is fine, but I wouldn’t call it an engagement ring. And as other PP have said, if it is a diamond ring that looks like an engagement ring, she will get a ton of questions about wedding plans, setting a date, etc. Considering her SO’s aversion to marriage, I would assume that would make him pretty uncomfortable.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1842 posts
    Buzzing bee

    if your arn’t engaged then i am curious as to the point of an engagement ring.

    I have a few friends who are against legal marriage but still wear rings as sign of their commitment. usually not diamonds but to each thier own. if she is okay with never getting married but just needs a shiny rock to keep other men at bay i think that is an acceptable price to pay. 

    Post # 31
    Member
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    It’s not an engagement ring if they’re not engaged. It’s just a ring in such a case. So sure get a ring wear it however she wants, but don’t call it an e-ring.

    The topic ‘Would you want an e-ring only if your SO was against marriage’ is closed to new replies.

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