(Closed) Would you want him to tell you…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

No.  I can tell if I’ve gained weight.  I don’t need anyone bringing it to my attention.

Post # 4
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@GroovyHippieChick:  Yup.

I’m very aware of it even if it’s only a couple of pounds.  I don’t need anyone else to tell me that.

Post # 5
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

LMBO @ MichiganBride2012 exactly !!!!!!

Post # 6
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@GroovyHippieChick:  This.  I have enough body image issues.  I would more appreciate my partner initiating healthy lifestyle changes, such as encouraging us to go to the gym, go for walks, and eating healthy foods. 

Post # 7
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yes. But I wouldnt mind if I packed on a few pounds. I’m a tiny girl. But I did tell my Fiance about 3 months ago that he needed to lose weight, and guess what? He did! He has enough medical problems, (he had brain surgery summer of 2010) and he needs to be healthy. He started watching his calories and eating better and it has paid off.

Post # 8
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

No, and if he did, he’d be sleeping on the couch.  

If my pants are getting a little snug it means it is time to throw in a few extra workouts and cut back on the carbs.  Problem solved!

ETA: Totally counterproductive to go pointing this out to your SO or vice versa. 

Post # 9
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

He can tell me if he wants to, but like PP’s… chances are I already know.

I fractured my femur in 2010 & was on crutches for 3 months.  I had just run a half marathon, so I was really active & in good shape.  Oh, and the kicker- I was on crutches from December ’10 to March ’11… so just after Thanksgiving, Christmas & all the cookies associated with it, Valentine’s Day, and basically not being able to work out at all 🙁  I did gain a few pounds, and I did know about it.  He didn’t really like, bring it up to me, but he did suggest activities we could do together in the spring when I was allowed to walk again.  We took the dogs for walks & ate out less often, so in his own really sweet way, he was addressing the issue of the weight I had gained (like 5-10 pounds, not exactly the end of the world…) but without cutting me down about it.

Post # 11
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yes I’d want to know so then I could know I need to show him the door.

Post # 12
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is a slippery slope I think. I actually posted a converstaion Fiance and I had about this in that other thread but deleted it, it wouldn’t have been helpful. Fits here though!

So, our conversation was about one of us gaining a significant amount of weight. Not 5 lbs of course. Well, 5 lbs to me is a big deal, but not to our relationship if you know what I mean! Anyway, we both agreed that if it affected our relationship, it would need to be brought up.

We are both pretty healthy, we’re runners, and lead a really active lifestyle. If one of us gained weight and we had to stop doing those things we enjoy, it would affect our relationship. Once that happened, something would need to change.

I guess for us, it isn’t about the weight, it’s about the impact on our life together. I love Fiance, and one of the things I love about him is exercising with him, running with him, and leading a healthy lifestyle together. If he were to fall out of that healthy lifestyle, we’d be much less compatible. Would I still love him? Of course I would. But we both know that if steps aren’t taken to regain that kind of lifestyle, the relationship would suffer and possibly end.

Now, this is assuming it’s a lack of proper eating habits and enthusiasm about exercise. Obviously, if it were something out of one’s control it’s completely different.

Post # 13
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’ve actually told mine to let me know. I did a lot of work to lose weight and I want to keep it off. He nicely obliges me Smile

Post # 16
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hmmmm this is a tough one. I critique myself extra, so FH wouldn’t even get a chance to mention this… I’m on it.

He had done P90x for 45 days before having hernia surgery last year. He fell off the workout wagon and I “encouraged” him to workout with me and asked about P90x because I know his goals. He finally restarted and just finished the 90 days. Loves the results and now working on Asylum. I tell him I need him to be around a LONG time and want him healthy. Less concerned with weight (he’s actually skinny) and more with health. I can’t tell how his heart is by looking at his biceps, but I know it’s better when he’s working out.

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