Would you wear a dress from a broken engagement?

posted 2 weeks ago in Dress
Post # 2
Hostess
4353 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Ok. I sat and thought about this for quite a while and came to the conclusion that I couldn’t do this. I think it would always have a negative connotation to me. Sell the dress, buy yourself some kind of nice present, and when the time comes when you’re shopping for a new dress to marry a better guy, think about how many amazing new designs there will be out there! There is another dream dress waiting in your future ❤️

Post # 3
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

When you look at your dress, does it remind you of your ex and your called-off wedding? Or do you just think about how beautiful it is and how you bought it for YOU because you love it? If its the second I would definitely keep it! And would love to see pictures 🙂

Although one other thought: if your future spouse to be is weirded out by the concept, I also would not wear the dress in that case. 

Post # 5
Member
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
@peachybee88:  Yeah I’m really not sure how a future partner would feel about it, as I’m guessing this is pretty individual whether they would see it as super creepy like you haven’t moved on/totally innocent as its just a beautiful dress. One thing to consider is that the resale value will massively deteriorate if you try to re-sell it years from now vs. right now.

Post # 8
Member
5005 posts
Bee Keeper

I’d keep it.  But I”m a pretty pragmatic person.  I really don’t think this is an etiquette question and I don’t believe that objects have bad vibes or superstitions or any more meaning than you personally want to ascribe to them.  So if you’re able to have live a healthy life that doesn’t dwell on the past and make those associations while keeping that dress, then I see zero reason why you have to get rid of it if it’s something you like and would wear.  

That said, if I found myself dwelling on what was to an unhealthy extent (like five years from now you go all Miss Haversham) or the dress made me feel bad then I would get rid of it.  Likewise, if I ended up gaining or losing weight so it no longer fit or decided it was just no longer my style then I’d get rid of it – but again that’s just being practical and getting rid of clutter.  You’ll likely never get back what you paid for it, so there’s really no rush to decide unless you’re still in the return window or you’re really hard up and want to see if you can get more for it now rather than later.

 

ETA:  So I just asked my SO (I have been engaged before, but this would be hypothetical for us as I didn’t get far as buying a dress, the ring has long been sold, and that ring is no longer my current style and I’d put money down he’d never pick that style in a million years).  His response is “Eh…you like what you like.  Why spend more money?”  But he’s a pretty chill, live and let live kind of person and I knew this sort of thing would be way off his caring radar.

Post # 11
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2021 - Australia

I think for me like one of the other PPs, it would always be tainted, however ridiculous that might be, and I wouldn’t feel 100% comfortable wearing it.

I would say if no one had seen it, it would be ok to wear, if you felt comfortable with the idea – but the fact his sister was there when you tried it on…. is it possible she could see it on facebook or elsewhere 5 years (or whatever) from now and be like, “isn’t that the dress she bought when she was with my brother?” This would make me supremely uncomfortable.

I remember I bought a formal dress that I felt so amazing in when I was 16. Then I broke up with that boyfriend and decided to save the dress for my next formal. But 1-2 years later when I was invited to one, it was at a different time of year, the old dress didn’t fit quite the same way, and it didn’t give me that same joy and excitement it had when I bought it. The moment had passed.

This experience makes me think that the best option would be to sell it, and to purchase something fresh when the time comes. Who knows what would be fashionable or suitable for whatever you pick for your hypothetical future wedding – maybe your future husband would really want a festival themed wedding with glamping, or a wedding in a cathedral that requires sleeves, or you decide to do a winter wedding in the snow, or who knows? You might still love this dress, but it just… won’t be right for the new thing, you know?

Post # 12
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
@peachybee88:  I’m very cheap and pragmatic as well, so if there are no negative feelings with the dress connecting back to your past relationship, I recommend keeping it.

Post # 14
Member
3778 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I would absolutely keep the dress! I might have a different opinion if you had actually gotten married in it, but you didn’t even get to enjoy it! Why punish your dream dress because of a less than dreamy guy? It never served the function it was intended to, so I say go for it.

As for whether or not it would bother another guy, I mean, I don’t see why it would unless he was wildly insecure. Again, you never got married in it. If you bought other clothes for special occasions with your ex, would you be expected to throw those out, too?

I asked Dh and he said it wouldn’t bother him at all and he wouldn’t think twice about it.

Post # 15
Member
565 posts
Busy bee

If you love the dress, keep it! I’m sure it was expensive, and you’ll end up losing money if you sell it. It may not be easy to find another wedding dress that you love as much as this one. It took me months (and many shopping trips and phone calls to bridal salons) to find my dress, as I’m incredibly picky, and I would be totally deflated if you told me I had to get rid of my dress and start the search all over again.

It’s not like you wore that dress to your wedding. You didn’t get married in it, no one else has seen it on you. There’s nothing wrong with keeping it for your future wedding. Just make sure you store it properly; you wouldn’t want it turning yellow!

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