(Closed) would you wear?!?!

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: would you wear an Ering that is a family heirloom but your not the first to wear it?
    hell no! : (8 votes)
    13 %
    sure why not. : (53 votes)
    87 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    140 posts
    Blushing bee

    Wait, I don’t get it. If the ring is an heirloom, isn’t it a given that someone has worn it before you? Or, do you mean your SO’s previous FI/Wife? The former, I would have no problem with and be proud to wear something from the family, the latter, I would have to think about it. I think I would also want my own ring in that case. I don’t like any bad energy hanging around from failed relationships. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2968 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i’ve never cared much for the idea of giving/receiving a wedding/engagement ring that had been passed down. if my fiance proposed to someone with his mom’s ring and then they later split up, of course he’d keep the ring. if he wanted to give me that same ring when he proposed to me, i don’t think i’d like that. it’s not the heirloom part that bothers me and it’s not that i want something that’s mine and only mine.  i just don’t like the idea of getting a ring that he gave to someone else first and i wouldn’t want bad memories associated with an engagement/wedding ring. i wouldn’t want him to look at his mom’s ring on my finger and think about a broken engagement/marriage he had with someone else.

    eta: my mom has always told me that she does not want her jewelry to be given as engagement/wedding rings. i’ve been given specific instructions (many times, lol) that when she dies, i’m in charge of her jewelry and i can give it to any daughters/granddaughters in the family, but she does not want it to go to anyone who marries into the family.

    Post # 5
    Member
    14481 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I dont care about past and rings (I think), never been in this position so I cant say for sure.  But if it wasnt my style, but the stone was something I’d like I think I’m too practical to not want to use it in a new ring.   Off the heirloom topic a bit (sorry)..like if he’d bought or had a 1 ct+ for an ex, I think it’d be wasteful for him to sell it for like half, and then buy the same thing again back for me and waste more money.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2577 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Of course! That is what an heirloom is, a worthy hand-me-down!

    Post # 7
    Member
    3227 posts
    Sugar bee

    @HisNightOwl2014:  I voted yes that I would wear it but most likely I would want to wear it as a RHR and make my own history with my own ring if that makes sense so I know what you mean.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2869 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I love heirloom rings as RHRs.  I would personally prefer to pick my own e-ring, but I know a lot of bees have gorgeous heirloom rings that they love.  I also like the idea of if they have an heirloom stone, taking that and setting it in your choice of setting.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7992 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Interestingly, before I got engaged then Fiance and I were complaining about how expensive weddings were, and he said that rings cost a bomb. I said “well, if we get married then you could always ask my Grandmother for her engagement ring from her first marriage. I’d be honoured to wear it.” He replied that he didn’t feel comfortable reusing a ring which had a chequered history (my Grandfather died in a RTA when he was very young). I pointed out to him that it was not as if they had divorced, but he remained unmovable…

    So I would wear an heirloom. I would be less comfortable if it came from a broken marriage, or FIs previous engagement. However, I suppose I would have no objection to resetting the stone in a new setting if that was the case… Superstitious, I know!

    Post # 10
    Member
    486 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I think I would wear a family heirloom ring if it was my style. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t, no matter how much I loved the idea. I had a few different heirloom rings offered to me, but when I tried them I just couldn’t do it. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    2778 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Do you mean an heirloom that someone has worn before as in it was your great great grandmother’s and you are the second person to re-wear but the third person to wear it sort of thing?

    Either way the answer is yes.  I have an heirloom setting and it happened to be exactly what I wanted, its my grandmother’s.  It’s platinum simple and I love it.  It  had broken prongs even when I got it and no diamond, it had fallen out years before.  And I still wanted it.  I also have her matching (sort of its 14K white gold but thats another story) wedding band.

    Going this way saved my Fiance a lot of money, I really wanted this exactly sort of setting, exact sort of ring in platinum.

    Now if grandma had a yellow gold ring with emerald diamonds that were smaller or something the answer would still be yes, altough since yellow gold isnt my thing I might just wear it as a RHR instead of altering it.

    @lilchicana:  Thats what we are doing with my ring, its going to someone who is family not someone who marries in.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4714 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1998

    If it was nice…if not then no

    Post # 13
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    YES!!  I love my mothers, which was my grandmothers setting and the stone if from my great grandfather!  there is something really romantic and special about it!  dont get me wrong I love my own, but I would have not minded to wear my moms which has been passed down.  So my husband designed my e-ring with my mothers in minde 🙂 

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I did wear an heirloom until I lost it, and I liked it. It was my grandmother’s ring (so sentimental for me), and it was much nicer than what Darling Husband and I could have afforded on our own. I don’t really see why someone wouldn’t want to wear a ring just because it’s an heirloom. Though, I can see why you wouldn’t want to wear something you didn’t like just because it’s an heirloom, and I can see why you wouldn’t want to risk that possibility (because it’s not like it would be easy to bring up the fact that you didn’t like it once it was given without hurt feelings).

    I was lucky in the fact that I liked mine, and I think it’s great for others in similar situations. I love my current ring (a replacement since I lost the heirloom), but I do miss the sentimental feel of the other one. 

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