would you write an article if your husband said he wasn’t to thrilled about it?

posted 1 year ago in Home
  • poll: Would you write the article even though your husband isn’t wanting to?
    Yes do it! : (25 votes)
    49 %
    Nope don’t : (26 votes)
    51 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    As its details of a project that involved both of you and your home, I think you need to respect his wishes here and at the very least have a conversation with him where you both consider the pros and cons of doing the article and each other’s feelings on the mattter.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1152 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

    As someone who writes for a living, I would agree with PP that I would only consider this if it were a paid gig. There are a lot of sites that basically feed off of people willing to write things for them for free, and your time (and expertise/advice) is worth something. Guaranteed they will make money from your contribution, so it stands to reason that you should receive at least some of the profit from your work!

    ETA: After seeing your update that they aren’t willing to pay you, if I were you and if I really wanted to share the information, I would write it myself in a blog post and share that instead. Otherwise, you’re basically letting the site profit off of you while you get nothing out of the deal. It’s essentially free labor for them. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    4495 posts
    Honey bee

    As long as his objections aren’t privacy concerns or safety concerns (i.e. you aren’t going undercover to write an expose on drug cartels) then I guess I would view this as a hobby and that really isn’t something he gets a say in.  

    If you are the one doing it, what should he care how long it takes you to document things?  If it takes you a week or a year to write the article as long as they still want it, what does it matter?  As long as you are being considerate and not expecting his contribution if he doesn’t want to contribute and it doesn’t take away or delay the project (i.e. you’re not asking him to hold off on something until you can get photos or you’re too busy documenting the process to help him actually get the job done), then I don’t think those are objections that require significant consideration in your decision making process.

    That said, I’m not a big fan of other people profiting off me for free.  You may think you are doing a service for other people like you, but meanwhile every click gets that site money for your work.  If you want to share, you can do your own Instagram or blog of the process. 

    Additionally, if you were planning this article and documentation process to be a joint project simply because the remodel is a joint project, then no, I wouldn’t do it.  You don’t get to volunteer other people’s time for them.

    Post # 20
    Member
    5546 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

    meliamartinez31 :  So has he told you he doesn’t want you to do it at all, or is it just that he doesn’t want to help?

    If he just thinks it’s too much work and he can’t be bothered to add any input then I think it’s fine for you to do it anyway but if he has any reason why he doesn’t want the article being posted in general (finances being made public, private photos of inside his home going online) then I think you need to respect that it is his home and life too and if he isn’t comfortable with all that info being shared then you can’t just do it because you feel like it. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    I think if you want to write the article, paid or unpaid, you should so long as your husband is OK with your joint financial information and photos of your personal space being posted online. I dont think you should force him to help you if he doesnt want to. He may have to answer questions about different details since it sounds like he did lots of the bargain hunting but just because you think it would be fun, doesnt mean he think it will be fun. If he’s really opposed, I dont think you should do it because it’s his home too.

    Post # 23
    Member
    1362 posts
    Bumble bee

    Don’t do this for free. The site will be profiting off of your hard work. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    1607 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    as a small business minded person, the phrase, you gotta pay yourself always stuck with me. 

    Through working I would think, ‘how much is this sweater going to cost me?’ ‘4 HRS of labor’ ‘not worth it’. If you’re dumping your time (aka. money) into a project and not being compensated on it, I would agree with your husband, its not worth your time. And since

    somedaymrsj :  is a professional writer, their suggestion re: the blog idea is the best I’ve read here so far. 

    No free rides. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    7866 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    meliamartinez31 :  if he doesn’t want to do it I wouldn’t try to force him. BUT if you are willing to do it on your own then I say go for it! Unless he has some privacy concern in which case I’d make sure he isn’t in any photos, last names are withheld, etc.

    I was actually contacted by a magazine through a PM on this site because they wanted to use my bridesmaids photos in a piece they were doing. I was flattered, but I only post them here with the girls’ heads chopped off for our privacy so I declined. If there was a way to show it off without fulling outing myself I would have been down though (my girls did look smokin’ hot). 

    Post # 26
    Member
    3379 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    If your husband does not want to dedicate his own time and energy to this project, that is perfectly reasonable, as is any request he might have that you don’t share photos that he isn’t comfortable showing.

    However, if he is saying he doesn’t want you to go ahead and write it, that would annoy me. You can choose to use your time and energy however you like.

    Post # 27
    Member
    9666 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Oh that’s not a good enough reason. He doesn’t have to do anything at all if he doesn’t want to but he shouldn’t stop you from doing it if you are willing to put in the time.

    Post # 28
    Member
    12094 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I think it’s his prerogative not to have or want his name, hometown, and photos of him and your home on the internet for whatever reason, including privacy and security, It’s also obviously up to him whether he wants to devote the time to sonething he’d be doing for free. 

    If you think the exposure could lead to publicity for other, more lucrative jobs or projects then that’s obviously going to be part of the discussion. But ultimately, if he’s against it, and it’s his home and work product too, you will just have to respect his wishes. 

    Post # 29
    Member
    2410 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’d say he absolutely has the right to veto having his name, photo, or personally identifying details (ie, photos of the house interior/exterior that could be used to determine your address or location) published.  There are definitely privacy and security issues here.  I think he also has the right to be uncomfortable with a publiushed article that contains details about your finances – ie, your budget, how much you spent on the house, things like that.

    It also sounds like you’re expecfting him to help you with the article and spend several hours assembling the financial aspects from the rennovation budget for you?  I think he also has the right to say “Nope. Not interested in spending my free time this way.”

    And honestly, I also have to echo the other bees who have said to be way of doing unpaid labor… such as providing unpaid content.  

    Post # 30
    Member
    6571 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’d be more supportive of you starting your own blog and posting original content rather than giving it for free to some random website. 

    But to actually answer your question – yes, I would still write an article if my husband didnt want ot help. 

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