Post # 1
I just need to know if I have the right to feel this way. I normally do not ever feel anger towards my friends. Sometimes I get annoyed with them, not often though. But never angry.
This girl has been my best friend since grade 2. A few years ago I moved to the West Coast but we still text daily about everything. It was a no brainer she would be in my wedding.
Some of you may have read my other post; long story short she asked me to pay for her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and she would pay me back, but didn’t. I kind of saw that coming because she is on welfare and has not worked for 5 years and shes not quite mid 20s. I sucked it up.
She got pregnant with her new boyfriend. I mean, sure, she’s very happy. All she wants is more babies and actively seeks men she can procreate with whether they want one or not.
So she tells me she can’t come to my wedding because her baby will be due 1 month before it. I get the money piece of the equation, but if she really wanted to be here she would. Her mom and I planned a surprise vacation out here 2 years ago but she ended making her mom return the plane tickets because she had just watched some 911 movie and “developed a phobia” of flying. That hurt, but not coming to my wedding or even seeming upset about not coming stings. I know her mom would help with the flight of need be. I would help her out as much as i could too. But she kept going out drinking and getting her nails done every week with her extra money so it’s like she planNed on seriously coming. Why have me buy the dress then? as for flying, she said as long as her mew bf flew with her she could do it. Oh, and then she told me she wants the dress I paid for sent to her as well.
Anyways, I know that this is my wedding and at your wedding is always way more important to you than anyone else. Honestly, if her and I met today we would likely never be friends because we are so different but we have that history and I love the girl. Heck, when I’m back visiting and introduce her as my friend she gets mad and says “BEST friend”. Wouldn’t a best friend be there for you on your wedding day? Even as a guest?
Post # 3
I sure hope she’ll be there, but god she’s flakey (I love her anyway), so I can’t count on it.
Think of what your friend means to you overall, is her not attending your wedding a symptom of a larger problem with her friendship toward you, or a flaw you can accept in an otherwise awesome friend?
Post # 4
@joya_aspera: she 100% will not be there, she told me this.
I think this is just the cherry on top of the cake for several other times she’s done this to me, ie: last month I flew back home. Had not been back for 4 years and I was only there for a wedding on the weekend. I made time for her to come to my grandmas thanksgiving supper, scheduled at 6pm. Long after its over she texts me that she’s at her boyfriends grandmas birthday instead. I was annoyed but ok. She showed up at 10:30pm, drunk, having drove her 5 year old son over, as I was getting ready for bed.
Post # 5
One of my besties is planning to start TTC in the new year. So by the time I get married she will either be heavily pregnant or have a super young breastfeeding kiddo… Obviously logic tells me that no one should put their life on hold for my wedding and her being pregnant would be so awesome but honestly when she mentioned this to me today I got so sad and had a bit of an irrational moment. My wedding will not be complete if she wasn’t there to celebrate with me 🙁
It’s always sad when our friends disappoint us, even if it’s unintentional… *hugs*
Post # 6
1st I wouldnt be sending her the dress. You need to use it for the person who is acutally going to be in your wedding.
2nd, weddings seem to bring out the best and worst in friends. I think if she isnt going to come then, just be at peace with her decission. Do not let her ruin it for you 🙂
Post # 7
I guess technically she may not even be able to fly if she’s due one month before your wedding. I’d see if someone else you want in your wedding fits the dress or see about selling it to try to recoup the money you put out.
Sometimes you’re not supposed to be friends for life with people you met in grade school.
Post # 8
@meetmethere2013: It doesn’t sound like she’s your best friend anymore. People and circumstances change over so many years. Like you said, if you guys met today, you wouldn’t be friends. Maybe she inititally agreed to be in your wedding because she felt obligated considering the history of your friendship. Sorry this happened to you, try to let it go and pick a new friend to be in your wedding.