(Closed) Would your feeling be hurt?

posted 7 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No, I wouldn’t be offended if I weren’t in the wedding.  That would be like me having my one bridesmaid in the wedding but not asking her husband to be a groomsman.  I don’t think it’s a big deal.

However, she is family.  So, I think maybe a few photos with her included might be nice but then, obviously, just the wedding party.

Post # 4
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

As long as I am invited to attend the wedding along with my husband my feelings would not be hurt.

It happened to us last year, and I didn’t mind. It’s my DH’s friend and it’s not like I am super close with the guy and I barely knew his wife. Why would anyone expect to be included in someone’s wedding just because their husband is, if they don’t really know the people??

Post # 5
Member
583 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think as long as she’s at least invited you’re fine. You should consider inviting her to any showers or bachelorette parties or rehearsal dinner type events too though.

Post # 6
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I think not including her in the wedding is fine, but keeping her out of pictures seems rude to me.  They’re married, she’s his family, and now yours.  It’s totally fine to get a picture of just you and your cousin, but I think she needs to be in all “family” pictures.  Otherwise you’re basically saying that you don’t view her as part of your family, which I think would be very hurtful to a newlywed.

Post # 7
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Not being in the bridal party wouldn’t offend me.  But telling me you don’t want me in the family picture definitely would. Besides, don’t you think your cousin might want a nice picture of himself, his wife and his cousin, the beautiful bride??

Post # 9
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Nope, as long as she’s invited you’re good. 

Post # 10
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@mrsmdphd: I agree. I think my feelings would be a little hurt if I wasn’t included in the “Family” shots. Getting one of just you and your cousin is absolutely understandable but IMO it’s kinda rude to not include her in other ones

Post # 11
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@FutureMrsChaney: If you do an “extended family” picture then she should be in it. If you are just doing a “bridal party” picture then no she should not be in it.

Post # 13
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@FutureMrsChaney: Well, that certainly is one way to look at it.  It seems like you have already made up your mind not to inlcude her.  Which is fine, they are your pictures and your decision, but bear in mind her feelings are still bound to get hurt.  I know mine would.

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Meh, i wouldn’t think twice if my husband’s cousin did a “family only” photo without the married extensions. In fact, i was in the situation a few months after we got married–and i didn’t think i “belonged” in the photo and next thing i know, somebody is looking for me and i caused a big hold up by expecting to be excluded.

I really doubt that family photo is hanging up in the house, though

Post # 16
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Whether you consider her to be family or not, she is.  She has married in to your family just like you are marrying into your FI’s family.  It is really rude to exclude her from family pictures.

I’d be fine with you getting a picture of you and all of your cousins or you and this cousin from your wedding party without their spouses.  But if it is a family picture (versus for example a cousins picture) she should be included.  Not only will her feelings be hurt if you don’t, the rest of your family will also probably think you are being really rude (and just because it is your wedding and your pictures doesn’t give you an excuse to be rude).

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