Post # 1
So many heart-wrenching threads have been posted by members wondering if they should stay with someone who was not been faithful. I guess i’m just curious if you think YOUR partner would stay with you if you cheated.
I realize that it’s hard to generalize (and that there are so many scenarios) but do you think your partner see’s cheating as a definite deal breaker?
Post # 3
Hell to the no. He’s told me straight up that he would wash his hands of me and I’d be out the door so quickly. He went through the whole cheating thing with his ex of 5 years. He walked in on her and some guy he knew. Turned out she was cheating on him with several other guys as well. So, I don’t think he’ll have any sort of tolerance if that was ever to be the case, but we will never have to worry about it. 🙂
Plus – I wouldn’t blame him.
Post # 4
I believe that my husband would forgive me, if I cheated; however, I would not be able to forgive myself, if that were ever to happen, so our relationship would have to end. That being said, I never have and never would cheat on my husband. I have been in relationships before where I have been cheated on and it is not a good feeling at all. I would never ever do that to anyone…
Post # 5
I actually find this question really hard to answer. I think he would forgive me but like @noritake22 i don’t think i could forgive myself …
Post # 6
No he wouldn’t forgive me. So much of his childhood and his life was shaped by the fact that his father had an affair and that he was conceived after this affair was in full swing. His father left his mother and is now married to the mistress.
This had a HUGE negative impact on FI’s life. So I know he would never tolerate that.
Post # 7
Oh great thread idea~
I put I don’t know because he did put up with his ex wife cheating on him for a while His attitude regarding cheating even after that was pretty laissez faire about it suprisingly. But since meeting me and knowing that I find cheating on any level deplorable and make no bones about it, I think he would probably never trust me again since I would be a raging hypocrit for that.
Post # 8
not an issue. it’s not cheating if he knows about it.
and yes, we’ve talked about it – I’m not just saying that.
Post # 9
@bebefly: you mean you have an open relationship?
Post # 10
@bebefly: You’re saying you have an open relationship, right? Just so i’m clear? Obviously sex outside of a marriage that is mutually agreed on is not cheating!
Post # 11
@Oneeleven: @Mollytov: we have the potential to be an open relationship. Right now we’re monogamous, but it’s not something we’re ruling out.
And yes I realize its not cheating, but I’m just weighing in with an answer to your question – it just happens that my answer is not a standard yes/no one. 🙂
Post # 12
@bebefly: Who likes a standard answer! And good for you guys for keeping everything on the table and looking at options 🙂
Post # 13
Definitely not. DH’s ex cheated on him with his own brother. He washed his hands of her, but has since forgiven his brother (which I don’t understand). He has made it clear that if I were to ever cheat he would drop me so fast. I would never cheat in the first place, but that’s where he stands on the issue.
Post # 14
Okay, I can’t resist this subject tonight. There is no WAY my husband would forgive me if I cheated. He has not only told me but I know him and that would be the end. And I understand his position. But oddly enough, I would be able to forgive him under certain circumstances.
I could probably forgive a lap dance or feeling up some stripper. Not that he would ever engage in that behavior. He’s such a good little Catholic boy. Which is kind of ironic, given my feelings on the subject. Most guys would love to have that free pass. lol
But an ongoing emotional affair where he is sharing secrets, having intimate conversations and making actual love to another woman. Oh, we are done at that point. Something is irretrievably broken in the relationship if it gets to that level.
As for me, I know from past relationships that if I start to feel like cheating, then I’m pretty much done with the relationship.
Post # 15
I really have no clue. It’s something I honestly feel will never happen on my part. We’ve spoken about it, even promised each other we would end our relationship first…. But, if he was to cheat on me, I would never be able to forgive him.
Post # 16
- Wedding: June 2011 - Spring Grove Park & St. George Banquet Center
Saying or predicting what you or someone may do can be SO different than what actually happens! I have had close friends that I would have never thought would put up with a cheating significant other, yet oddly enough when actually cheated on, they kept going back to the jerk! None were even married, so it’s not even like they had a marriage to try and salvage.
I would not forgive an act of cheating in a dating or even engaged relationship. That would be a deal-breaker, it’s over and done no matter how much it sucks. Once married, though, I think I’d have to try and salvage the relationship before throwing in the towel.