(Closed) Would your partner forgive you if YOU cheated?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would your partner forgive you if you cheated?
    Yes : (27 votes)
    24 %
    No : (65 votes)
    59 %
    I just don't know : (19 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3011 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Hell to the no.  He’s told me straight up that he would wash his hands of me and I’d be out the door so quickly.  He went through the whole cheating thing with his ex of 5 years.  He walked in on her and some guy he knew.  Turned out she was cheating on him with several other guys as well.  So, I don’t think he’ll have any sort of tolerance if that was ever to be the case, but we will never have to worry about it. 🙂

    Plus – I wouldn’t blame him.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I believe that my husband would forgive me, if I cheated; however, I would not be able to forgive myself, if that were ever to happen, so our relationship would have to end. That being said, I never have and never would cheat on my husband. I have been in relationships before where I have been cheated on and it is not a good feeling at all. I would never ever do that to anyone…

    Post # 6
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    No he wouldn’t forgive me. So much of his childhood and his life was shaped by the fact that his father had an affair and that he was conceived after this affair was in full swing.  His father left his mother and is now married to the mistress.

    This had a HUGE negative impact on FI’s life.  So I know he would never tolerate that.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Mollytov:

    Oh great thread idea~

    I put I don’t know because he did put up with his ex wife cheating on him for a while  His attitude regarding cheating even after that was pretty laissez faire about it suprisingly.  But since meeting me and knowing that I find cheating on any level deplorable and make no bones about it, I think he would probably never trust me again since I would be a raging hypocrit for that.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    not an issue. it’s not cheating if he knows about it. 

    and yes, we’ve talked about it – I’m not just saying that.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    @bebefly: you mean you have an open relationship?

    Post # 11
    Member
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @Oneeleven: @Mollytov: we have the potential to be an open relationship. Right now we’re monogamous, but it’s not something we’re ruling out.

    And yes I realize its not cheating, but I’m just weighing in with an answer to your question – it just happens that my answer is not a standard yes/no one. 🙂

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    968 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Definitely not. DH’s ex cheated on him with his own brother. He washed his hands of her, but has since forgiven his brother (which I don’t understand). He has made it clear that if I were to ever cheat he would drop me so fast. I would never cheat in the first place, but that’s where he stands on the issue.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2018 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Okay, I can’t resist this subject tonight.  There is no WAY my husband would forgive me if I cheated.  He has not only told me but I know him and that would be the end.  And I understand his position.  But oddly enough, I would be able to forgive him under certain circumstances.

    I could probably forgive a lap dance or feeling up some stripper.  Not that he would ever engage in that behavior.  He’s such a good little Catholic boy. Which is kind of ironic, given my feelings on the subject. Most guys would love to have that free pass. lol

    But an ongoing emotional affair where he is sharing secrets, having intimate conversations and making actual love to another woman.  Oh, we are done at that point. Something is irretrievably broken in the relationship if it gets to that level. 

    As for me, I know from past relationships that if I start to feel like cheating, then I’m pretty much done with the relationship. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    161 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I really have no clue. It’s something I honestly feel will never happen on my part. We’ve spoken about it, even promised each other we would end our relationship first…. But, if he was to cheat on me, I would never be able to forgive him.

    Post # 16
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011 - Spring Grove Park & St. George Banquet Center

    Saying or predicting what you or someone may do can be SO different than what actually happens! I have had close friends that I would have never thought would put up with a cheating significant other, yet oddly enough when actually cheated on, they kept going back to the jerk! None were even married, so it’s not even like they had a marriage to try and salvage.

    I would not forgive an act of cheating in a dating or even engaged relationship. That would be a deal-breaker, it’s over and done no matter how much it sucks. Once married, though, I think I’d have to try and salvage the relationship before throwing in the towel.

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