Post # 1
Simple question I am curious about. Is it generally the norm to invite future SIL’s to other wedding functions like the bachelorette party and bridal shower? Is one more normal than the other to reach out for, or is it rude to invite them to one event and not the other? Just trying to get a feel for what I might be able to expect from my future SIL who is marrying my Brother-In-Law. (disclaimer: I am hoping that’s not a normal thing, and I’m not expected to go)
Post # 2
I don’t know if there’s necessarily a normal for this. In the UK its pretty common for mums, MILs and SILs to be invited to the hen, I can’t speak for the US obviously.
Post # 3
I think it depends on the party: Bachelorettes and showers are really different. I’d absolutely have SILs at a shower, but a Bachelorette is probably less appropriate. It also depends on the kind of shower/bach party is being thrown. If it’s a shower attended by everyone or every woman invited to the wedding – yes obviously it’d be weird to exclude your sisters in law. If it’s a super intimate gathering with just the bride’s closest and best friends and you barely know your sisters in law – nah you’re off the hook. If the Mother-In-Law to be is invited, I’d invite the sister(s).
Post # 4
I think there’s a good chance you’ll be invited to the shower, especially if your DH’s family hosts one.
Bachelorette is more iffy – depends on your relationship with her, what her bridal party is planning, and what her circle typcially does for these. You can more easily decline this one, too, if you are invited, unlike a shower, where you should probably go (or at least send a gift).
Post # 5
Shower — yes
Bach — depends. If she’s around the same age (I mean within 10 years) of most of your friends, I would probably invite her.
Post # 6
I think it depends on your relationship. I get along with my FSIL’s but we don’t hang out or anything, and one is 10 years older than me. I absolutely will invite them to my shower but probably not bach party.
Post # 7
I think it wholly depends on your relationship.
I’m very close with my SIL. She was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my wedding and not just because she’s my husband’s sister. We’re truly very good friends. She co-hosted one of my bridal showers too. So I would never not invite her to any of the fun pre-wedding events.
However, I wouldn’t say our relationship is the norm. I do think in most incidences the SIL is invited to the bridal shower though, unless they have a horrible relationship. Those I see as more family events. A bachelorette party though? Not necessarily.
Post # 8
Okay this is making me feel better! I am probably the closest to Future Sister-In-Law out of all the other SIL’s, but she definitely has a mind more towards friends and less towards family. Sounds like she probably won’t feel obligated to invite me.
Post # 9
It’s totally normal in the UK. But I’m thinking not so much in the US based on posts on here
Post # 10
Moreso for the shower than the bachelorette party, but I didn’t vote because I think it depends a lot on the situation. Bachelorette is more for your group of best friends, so unless you guys are close i wouldn’t expect that. The Shower is often more for female family members and parents friends sort of, so it’s more likely you’d be invited to that. Also, because she’s your brother-in-laws new wife, rather than your husband’s sister, I think that’s an added degree of separation.
I’ll be inviting my fiancés sisters to both, but he is really close to his sisters and they’re close-ish to me in age and a ton of fun. They’ll also be bridesmaids, so it’s kind of a given.
Post # 11
My SIL invited me to both. I attended the shower but declined the bachelorette. She and all her friends are several years younger than me and we don’t have a lot of similar interests so I thought it would just be awkward to attend. Even if your SIL does invite you to these events you are not obligated to attend.
Post # 12
Not planning on having one, but if I were going to have one, the FSILs would not be invited. They are pretty stiff and I don’t know them that well.
Post # 13
It depends. My SILs are 14 and 8 years old, so no, they weren’t invited.
Post # 14
Oh god, I just had this conversation with my Future Mother-In-Law last week. I’m not inviting my Future Sister-In-Law because she has been against our relationship for so long that it seems weird to invite her to any festivities.
Post # 15
I didn’t have a bridal shower, but my SILs were definitely invited to my hen’s party – in fact, one of my SILs was a bridesmaid so helped plan the whole thing. My Mother-In-Law also came along. I consider myself pretty close to DH’s family, so it would have actually felt strange to not have them there.
In my social circle, it seems that if you have a FSIL/SIL they’re invited to the hen’s party. I was only dating DH when his oldest sister got married, and I was invited to her hen’s party. Only one of my married friends has a SIL, and they invited each other to their hen’s parties too.