(Closed) Wouldn't you be mad???

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

All you can do is politely say no. I understand it’s frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world. Just keep planning the wedding you want. Maybe he could come down a few days before the wedding to visit?

Post # 5
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

To be honest, yes, you are overreacting. Your fiancé hasn’t seen his twin brother in 2 years, who will then spend a (I assume) large amount of money flying down for a 2 hour party, and you aren’t even willing to let your fiancé and his brother hang out for a couple of days?

And yes, part of planning a wedding is making sure that they people you want to attend can be there. If you don’t want the school friend there, fine, but if your man does really want his friend there, it’s not unreasonable to plan around availability, especially when it seems like you haven’t got any concrete plans with vendors on a specific date.

Post # 6
2087 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t think the honey moon thing is a big deal if it’s not already booked.  The majority of people I know don’t leave for their honey moon til a week or so after the wedding anyways, if not significantly after for various reasons.  If they haven’t seen each other in 2 years, it’s not a huge request – but again, it’s your day so up to you.

I wouldn’t be very happy about suggesting moving the wedding though.  But again, I’d say it would have to depend on the way he asked.  Was he asking, thinking that there wasn’t a particular reason you chose october and that november wouldn’t be a big deal, or did he realize how much you guys wanted oct and that it was a done deal?

I wouldn’t be so mad… just explain to him the way you want things to go and that you aren’t comfortable changing anything.  If he keeps hounding about it, then i’d get frustrated

Post # 8
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You are totally overreacting. Calm down.

Given that your FI’s brother hasn’t seen him in TWO years (!!! I live across country on a student salary and still see my family at least 1x a year…I can’t imagine waiting 2+ years), I can understand why the brother would make his request for a longer visit. That doesn’t make it a “free vacation”. Before you get huffy about your honeymoon, consider that many couples don’t have the privelage of taking one and many couples have to wait weeks months after the big day to take their honeymoon. As for the request to change the date—this is probably because the brother is a little clueless about wedding planning AND you’ve described your day as a short, minimal affair which might have made it sound like no big deal to him.

This guy is going to be your family, no point in getting butt hurt over nothing and creating unnecessary tension. Let it go and move on.


Post # 9
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

OP, take a deep breath in. Let a deep breath out. Repeat a few times…

Think about this…
A twin brother’s closest friend is getting married. He is plain and simply excited; probably doesn’t know how to communicate his excitement — so, it comes off as overbearing.

And yes, family will always throw in things that could ruffle us up. I’ve had suggestions about moving my June wedding to August from a variety of people. August is just too hot for an outdoor wedding.

Just say something like, “We really hope you can join us, but if you can’t you can celebrate with us from far!”

Set up a seat just for your FH’s twin brother, so that he can be part of the wedding on SKYPE!

Post # 10
7276 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Merinda1994:  You’re overreacting. Especially about the honeymoon aspect. Your Fiance hasn’t seen his brother in two years and his brother is willing to come out for the wedding. I don’t think it’s a big deal at all to postpone your honeymoon for a few days- it will still be special.


Post # 12
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

IDK We postponed our honeymoon because my entire family was coming to town and I hadn’t seen them in three months, and wasn’t sure when I would see them again.  DH and I have our entire lives together and pushing a Honeymoon back a week didn’t seem that big of a deal. 

As for the rest of it, your FI’s brother is excited to see him, to see him get married and probably didn’t think he would be offending anyone.  Cut him some slack, he hasn’t seen his brother in two years and it may very well be another two before he sees him again. 

Post # 14
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Merinda1994:  I think you have every right to be upset, but don’t let it get to you. Like another bee said, politely tell him no.

Post # 16
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Merinda1994:  I think you are overreacting a bit. Not at the part where he asked you to delay the wedding for a friend of your FIs but I don’t think it’s a big deal to delay your honeymoon a few days so Fiance can spend some time with his brother etc. after the wedding. He hasn’t seen his twin in 2 years so I can totally understand them wanting to catch up. We delayed our honeymoon by a few days so we can spend more time with relatives that are flying in from overseas for our wedding. No biggie. Least I can do after the expense they are laying out.

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