Post # 1
hey bees! i’m very active on this site but made up a name b/c this is just a little too personal.
my husband has been in the hospital for a few days now. he has crohns and the disease has got the best of him, so he’ll have to have a colostomy soon (remove the diseased part of the colon). he has to wait a little bit b/c he just had a minor surgery so they’re waiting for that to heal.
before all of this happened, we were ttc. we decided right now’s not the best time b/c he’s going through a lot and recovery will take a while. but…. i think it’s too late! i’m excited, i’ve wanted a baby for a while and i really wanted to be pregnant. granted, it would have been easier (but when is life easy!) if we waited a few months, but like i said maybe too late. he said he would also be excited, but i know he’ll get extremely overwhelmed. i just took a test today and there was a very very very faint line, so i’m not even 100% sure, but most places say that faint is still positive.
i don’t really know what i’m trying to say or what kind of advice, support, etc. i’m looking for. it’s all just so much at once!
also, does anyone have/have a husband with a colostomy?
Post # 3
I don’t have anyone close to me with a colostomy, but I’ve taken care of lots of patients with Crohn’s and they’ve adapted very well to their challenges– and these are by and large teens!
Have you read Kitchen Table Wisdom by Naomi Remen? She’s a doctor with Crohn’s Disease, and has a great perspective to share.
As for babies– sometimes, we don’t get a ton of choice on when they make their appearance. I know Cecilia was conceived before we were “ready”, but luckily, you have 9 months of incubation time to adjust and get ready! Hopefully by then your husband will have recovered and will be ready for whatever comes!
As a side note, one of my bosses had her colostomy and was back to work in less time than anticipated… and she even had complications. I hope things go really smoothly for your husband, and early congratulations on your pregnancy!
Post # 4
A line is a line!!!!! I say congrats!!!!! I would test again in a day or so and make an appt with your doc to be sure, but congrats!!! Actually, this may very well give him something positive to look forward to.
For the other part, I can tell you that throughout nursing school I’ve encountered a lot of people that have colostomies (or stomas in general) so I may be able to help a little. There are little tricks to learn and it will take him a while to get use to it. You will also need to get very use to it as you will have to learn colostomy care. The important thing is to make sure that he is encouraged (not forced) to look at it and help with the care of it. Initially, the nurses will do a lot of the care for it, but make sure they’re explaining what they’re doing every time they go near it and that you encourage him to look at it and help when he’s ready. Like I said, it is going to be a big adjustment for him, and there may be some associated body image issues, but with patience and understanding, you can handle this.
Here are a couple little tricks I can help you with:
Keep an extra bag clip (if the system he has uses them) with you at all times so if you’re out somewhere and need to empty his bag and something happens to it (because the clips are just little plastic things) you’re ready. In the beginning the stools will be watery and loose, and to me a little more foul smelling, a way to combat this is to put a tiny bit of mouthwash on a little torn piece of toilet paper in the bag. (Docs don’t always like that advice, but they don’t have a stoma, do they).
I hope that helped a little. Not trying to scare you at all, but I think it’s important for you and your husband to be prepared!!! You have two big life events up ahead of you and you CAN handle them together!!! Be patient, and kind, and understanding. Good luck!
Post # 5
I’ll be holding good thoughts in my heart for your husband and you. Babies are a blessing, and I’m sure your future little one with bring such joy to focus on. Wishing you the best!
Post # 6
thank you all for your advice and support! i took the test again in the morning b/c everyone says that’s your best pee, but still very faint. i’ll wait a few days and try again before i call the doctor.
mrs. dg- i’m glad you told me that lots of teens have gone through this too. we’ve only known of older people getting them due to colon cancer, so i wasn’t really sure if it would be any different for someone in their 30s. and i’m ordering that book right now!
mattel- thanks for all of that great advice! i keep telling my husband that after all of the bad in our lives (his poor family is going through a lot right now with other things too) we get to have something good. but he’s now more nervous about having a surgery b/c of all the risks. i wish he’d stop worrying about things he can’t control!
Post # 7
@Colors – I absolutely hate those line tests. One line tends to always be lighter than the other. I used the digital test and it flat out said I was Pregnant. It took the guess work right out of it. That was enough for me 🙂
I have never known or dealt with someone who was suffering from Crohn’s disease but I do with you and your hubby the best!
Post # 8
I had a boss who had a colostomy and he lived a perfectly normal life. In fact, I only found out about it about 4 years after I’d worked there! It was never obvious. It’ll be tough being pregnant while he is recovering–if you have anyone that can be an extra support system, rely on that! If anything, I think it could be good for your husband’s recovery, looking forward to a baby.
Post # 9
@colors – although I do not know anyone recently with a colostomy, I do know that children appear when they are least expected and at times that seem to us often times to be inconvenient, but it seems that both you and your hubby are willing and welcome to the possibility of being parents. i would think of it as a blessing for you now in the midst of what is not such a great moment, so definitely take another test and confirm, but you have the entire pregnancy to prepare. ours was not expected either and will be a welcome addition to the family. early congratulations on your pregnancy!
Post # 10
thank you guys for all of your support and advice!
@ejs4y8. we do have an amazing support system. both of our parents live close to us (thank god!), along with my brother and sister in law. since he’s been in the hospital they’ve all come every day and make sure i’m eating and ok, and offer all sorts of help. i know if i tell them i’m pregnant (want to go to the doctor first) they’ll be there even more for us.