(Closed) Wow! Just wow- possibly the most hurtful and rudest rsvp response

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

What?!  Not much of a friend.  I don’t blame you for being hurt by that. 

Post # 5
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Umm ya I would be hurt. Is she waiting to see if something better will be going on that night? I would not want her at my wedding if she acted like that. Mark her as a no and she better not show up!

Post # 7
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow, doesn’t make you feel very valued!!  What a lame friend.  At least you won’t be wasting any money on her plate… better to have a loved one there instead.

Post # 8
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013


Post # 10
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@jackndiane:  Ummm…I’d repsond.

Tell her she could have just declined, but now that you know she’s just waiting to see if a better social engagment comes up, you’re hurt.  You’ll put her down as a no….and after you cool off, you’d like to talk to her about this.

I wouldn’t normally do this, but she is an old friend.  I would give her the honest answer.  What she has said is so rude and selfish, I’m kind of in shock.  I mean, someone might THINK that, but to actually say it???  Wow.

Post # 11
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I dont see how this is rude since you wanted an answer and she admitted that she couldn’t commit. Yes, it’s rude that she didn’t RSVP on time. And yes, I’d be sad if a friend didn’t attend. However, I dont find a “no” to be rude. Did you ask her what may be going on that night? Is it possible that her, her partner, or children may have something going on? 

Post # 12
10588 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

You don’t know for sure what the reason is.  I would say to give her the benefit of the doubt as it will probably bug you less.  Maybe she has something going on in her life that she isn’t comfortable sharing with people yet that really may affect whether or not she’ll be available or feeling up to attending your wedding.

Post # 13
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would probably email her back and ask if everything is ok. I may give people too much credit but I would give her one more chance to explain her situtation. I’d also probably say something along the lines of how nice it would be to see her even if it was only for part of the day.

She didn’t give you a reason she couldn’t commit so how do you know her motivations?

Post # 15
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@jackndiane:  How odd! I’d be upset too.

I guess the ball is in her court now. I probably wouldn’t contact her after this.

At least she doesn’t live in your city, etc. Not too big of a loss.

Post # 16
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

To me when someone says they can’t commit to a date it means they’re not really that intersted in coming and are looking for something better to do that weekend. If there is really truly something else going on wouldn’t she elaborate so that you don’t get the impression that she’s looking for something better to do? 

I would probably email her back just because I can’t let go of stuff like that haha

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