(Closed) Wow, you’d think I would have known!!!!!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
  • poll:
    you think he is about to ask me : (3 votes)
    8 %
    you aren't sure : (36 votes)
    92 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    It worries me that you guys have not talked about it yet you have been living together for 2 years… I really think you guys need to chat about marriage and the future

    Post # 4
    Member
    5215 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    @Future Mrs K:  Um, yeah, this.

    I think it is a bit silly to guess what HE might be thinking based on what some woman at a social event said. My workmates called my husband my “husband” before we were ever even engaged and I had nothing to do with them doing that!

    Post # 5
    Member
    73 posts
    Worker bee

    He probably doesn’t know he’s supposed to “pop the question” ….

    Post # 6
    Member
    2605 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Not sure I agree entirely w/ Future Mrs K, just in the sense that my Darling Husband and I were together for 8 years before we tied the knot. We lived together for 6 years before he popped the question!  

    OP, the difference between my story and yours is that both my Darling Husband and I were totally fine being in a relationship for that long without marriage on the immedite horizon. It appears that YOU are not. If you want to get married, I think that you have to in some way let him know and have a chat about your future together (THAT, I do agree with Future Mrs. K on!). Some people are fine just being in a relationship and may not have marriage on the radar screen–doesn’t mean they necessarily love you less or are any less committed, it might be that they’re pretty content with the way things are and don’t see a necessity for change. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    748 posts
    Busy bee

    I think you guys need to have a serious chat about whether and when you will be getting engaged and married. It sounds like you’re giving him everything, he may not even know he should ask you or that you want him to. Don’t guess his thoughts based on what a lady told you… and don’t guess them from whatever “hints” he gives you either. You need to ask him directly and have a conversation with him.

    As long as he shows that he loves you, it shouldn’t be a big deal that he doesn’t say it that often (although – what is the frequency?). Some guys just don’t say it that often but they show it plenty through acts of service. Read “the 5 love languages” for more details. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    How someone else refers to you can be completely independent of his feelings.

    Post # 9
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m called his wife all the time, but that doesn’t mean that I am or that he’s ever spoken to the person about the status of our relationship. If you want to be with him, and it sounds like it is important to you, you need to sit down and have a conversation with him. If I might be so bold to make a recommendation, I would not mention that you thought he was going to propose just because some random woman accidentally referred to you as his wife.

    Post # 10
    Member
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I agree that you should sit down with your man and talk. Since you haven’t talked about it he may think you just want a relationship and not a marriage. Plus, you both can get on the same page about what future you guys see and want.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1404 posts
    Bumble bee

    The woman at the social event made a mistake.  It is not some psychic reading.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I agree with the other posters. I think it’s time to sit down and have a serious talk about future plans. Guys seem to have a hard time taking hints about what a woman wants. They aren’t mind readers and a lot of times, we have to be super blunt with them. Also, I’ve seen that sometimes a guy will say something to coworker/friend/family in passing without realizing what that person might understand the comment to mean. Maybe he did say something about wanting to get married but it’s far better to talk with your SO than his coworker. It’s a relationship between you and him, not his coworker. Just communicate your desires for the future and I think you’ll have a better idea of what his are too! 

    Post # 13
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee

    Yeah, to what everyone else said — some random woman at a social event doesn’t know what’s going on in his head anymore than you do, especially if you haven’t talked about it.  I got many, many of those comments when I was out with ExBluesGuy — about “my husband”, or “his wife”, or things along those lines.

    All it meant was that to whoever was making the comment, that we looked like were were husband and wife. It doesn’t mean it was going to happen.

    (And yes, I’m single but I still read the board. I figure if I can share my experiences of going from waiting/he asked my ring size to single, and now being amicable with him again… well, if it helps someone, that’s great. And I like ring and dress pix.)

    Post # 14
    Member
    1735 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Why don’t you ask him?

    Post # 15
    Member
    323 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I agree with the pp’s You really need to sit down and have a serious talk about your future with your SO. He may be falling into a state of comfort, which may be difficult to break out of. If you are unable to express and communicate that you want to get married, he may be oblivious to the whole thing. 

    The topic ‘Wow, you’d think I would have known!!!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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