(Closed) WP Issues! Loooong vent….

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Well I’d say that he has some time to calm down, and she has some time to stop being such a b!+(h.  Frankly, my Darling Husband and I are living your life, so I completely empathize with you!  The BM’s Girlfriend ended up not coming to the wedding, and we do not talk to her now.  She’s not a part of our lives, and we do not support their relationship.  I would just have your FH call him and talk to him.  #1 because it is possible that the manipulative witch put him up to texting it, or else she did it without him knowing.  #2 because it’s easier to communicate via phone.  If your FH can at least convince him that he’s very important to both of you and that it means the world that he be there, it may help change his mind.  It’ll be harder to explain why you don’t want her to be there.  She will make this an ultimatum, his choosing between you two and her.  So it’s best to explain to him, that being in your wedding just isn’t about her.  It’s about his support of you and your FH.  It doesn’t mean he’s choosing you over her.  That may help him.

Post # 5
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I agree with MightySapphire.  I think it’s really important to have the conversation with your Best Man either over the phone or face-to-face, because, let’s be honest, this girl sounds like she’s manipulative enough to have sent that text.  I think if you explain your position to him, he should understand.  I know you don’t want her there, but what do you think would happen if you took it back ans said she could come?  Do you think she would still have the balls to attend?  If so, then I probably wouldn’t allow her to come.  I think before you make any more decisions regarding this your FH needs to sit down with your best man and have a talk.  I also think you and your FH and best man need to talk about it as well, so that your best man can see that you two are a united front.

Post # 6
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

MightySapphire has excellant advise. I hope things work out for you and your Fiance.

Post # 7
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am sorry. I understand why you don’t want her there. One of our ushers has a sleepover buddy that we aren’t comfortable with being at our wedding either, so I asked him not to bring her and he said ok. I think the best man needs to realize that it isn’t against him. He needs to act a little bit more mature about it! I think your Fiance and him should give it a few days to cool down, then sit and talk about it all.

Post # 8
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with that advice as well. Hopefully they can have a face-to-face talk one on one, somewhere where the Girlfriend can’t interrupt them. 

Also wanted to note that she doesn’t seem like the kind of person who wouldn’t come if you let Bridesmaid or Best Man bring her, so I would not go that route. 

Post # 9
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Oh my gosh I just had this convo with my Fiance this week. Our Bestman has a sleepover buddy who also is in a realtionship and living with that guy. So I totally am disgusted by the behavior. Not to mention we went on a boat trip for the Bestman’s bday and she came along. My second time to meet her.  Everyone but me got wasted thus I had to drive the boat back to harbor.  She was flashing other boats going by which is okay only if it were all adults in the boats.  Just things like that.  I just don’t want her drunk behavior at our wedding.  I also don’t want her hitting on other men at our wedding which she will do.  Thank goodness we have 57 days til the wedding and as of this week he is coming alone!

I think Sapphire said the best advice. Keep us posted!

Post # 11
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Actually Future Mrs Croc, I feel like you’re entitled to feel however you like–this girl knows she slept with your Fiance in the past and that she, in normal circumstances, would be UNWELCOME.

So honestly, I think she is incredibly rude, presumptuous and pushing your FI’s Bridesmaid or Best Man to not go without her. And I think Bridesmaid or Best Man will see the light. Don’t be all apologetic to her… just have Fiance talk to Bridesmaid or Best Man and say, look, you’re my best friend and I want you there. That’s what matters to me.

Post # 12
2641 posts
Sugar bee

While I agree with your Maid/Matron of Honor, that you won’t have time to spend with this girl on your wedding day, even if you wanted to, I think since you already expressed your wishes to not have her attend, you should let a sleeping dog lie. 

I like the idea of talking to the best man.  You can restate that you still would love him to be there.  And hopefully let him know that if he does choose to stay home because of her, that you’ll still be friends with him.  I don’t know if that’s true.  But sometimes we all make stupid decisions we regret because of love or like.

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