- Future Mrs Croc
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
Hi Hive! I need to vent and ask for some advice! But first, a little background…
FH and I live in Louisville, KY but are being wed in Florida this May. We are having an intimate beach wedding and have rented a condo for the wedding party to stay in. The condo is rented for the Monday before the wedding through the Monday after the wedding and we arranged a rental car so that we could all drive down together on mine and FH’s tab. We wanted it to be as cheap as possible, but we can’t afford to buy plane tickets for them. We have also informed the wedding party that we don’t have room for each of the to bring a guest – we couldn’t get a large enough condo at a good price – so if they bring guests, the guest will have to get a hotel room. If the Wedding Party decide to stay with their guest, we will try to help with their hotel rooms. Moving on to the issue…
FH, Grant, and I met through our friend, Chad, a few years ago. Chad and Grant have been friends for around 13 years while Chad and I have been friends for around 4 years. Grant asked Chad to be his Best Man and the only Groomsman, even though I have three Bridesmaids. This was in July of last year.
Fast forward to this week. FH and I went to a local pizza place to watch the Superbowl with Bridesmaid or Best Man and a couple acquaintances. BM’s friend (and “sleepover buddy”) started telling me how excited she is and that she can’t wait to come to our wedding and spend the week before the wedding relaxing in the sun. The girl I speak of has a history of embarrassing everyone around her, especially when drinking, and is not a close friend of ours. There is also the matter of her having slept with my fiance a few years back, a fact which makes me incredibly uncomfortable. So, FH approached Bridesmaid or Best Man about her plans the next day (after he and I discussed that her presence would be disturbing) and advised Bridesmaid or Best Man that, although he was welcome to bring a guest under the conditions listed above, we would prefer that he did not bring this girl. I sent a follow-up email to Bridesmaid or Best Man expressing my personal feelings on the matter and apologizing for not wanting her there.
Yesterday I received a message from this girl via Facebook berating me in a very childish way, so I emailed her to explain my position and apologize to her personally. I wanted her to know and to have the chance to understand exactly why her presence wasn’t preferred. She wrote me back this morning, “Thank you for the email.” That was it.
This afternoon, FH gets a TEXT message from Bridesmaid or Best Man stating that because of this situation he will not be participating in our wedding! i have been crying since. FH is quite upset that the only man he trusted and loved enough to stand by him on the most important day of his life so far would abandon him for this girl. A girl who has broken his heart repeatedly and left FH and I to pick up the pieces and put Bridesmaid or Best Man back together, only to have her do it again. A girl who, in recent months, has influenced our once intelligent friend to engage in some very stupid, unhealthy, and dangerous activities.
Maid/Matron of Honor says that perhaps we should tell Bridesmaid or Best Man that he can bring this girl, that she won’t come anyway after what has happened, and that it will make us look better. The damage is done, though, and I’m not interested in “looking better.” The fact is that this girl’s presence at my wedding would be awkward for me and FH and if there is only one day in our lives that we deserve to not feel uncomfortable, it’s our wedding day.
What should we do?! I’m just so stressed trying to pull this wedding together on my own and from 1,000 miles away, that I just don’t know how much more I can take.