(Closed) Writing a note when declining invite

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
11517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

View original reply
smoocheepoo:  We had a lot of people write notes on the back of the RSVP cards (all of which I kept).

I appreciated the notes (I think everyone who declined included one).


Post # 3
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We also had several people do this, and thought it was nice. 

Post # 4
2177 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
smoocheepoo:  Whatever works for you! All our declines either wrote on the rsvp card or sent an email explaining their situation. That is, the ones that sent in their rsvps. 🙂  I thought it was sweet.

Post # 5
7624 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I usually write a little note on the front of the RSVP if there is room or make a little arrow to the back (so they know to flip it over) and write it there.

Post # 6
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I had people both write notes on the back of the RSVP as well as just send me a note via email/text/facebook. If you are close and talk often no need to be so formal about it – you can just use the normal way you comminucate as well as or instead of a note

Post # 7
2729 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I definitely apprecaited the notes. It made us understand why they couldn’t attend and showed that they were remorseful. So many people wrote notes that when we started getting declines without a reason we were taken aback for a quick second lol. It’s not required by any means but it’s a really nice gesture.

Post # 8
13656 posts
Honey Beekeeper

A note wishing the couple well and wishing you could be there is appropriate. Contrary to belief, you are not, in fact,  obligated to give a reason, which may be quite personal or none of anyone’s business. But there are times when you might want to in any case.  If you wanted to go the really  traditional route, you would write a note on your own stationery, as reply cards are considered a crutch. In practice most people will use the reply cards and include a note on the back or separately. 

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