(Closed) Writing More than a Thank you?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you feel so inclined to send a small gift of appreciation, do so. They gave YOU the gift to share their love and well wishes for you, without any idea of getting anything back. If you feel so inclined to share a token of thanks, by all means do so! They would not be expecting it, so I’m sure they would be delighted.

Here’s an idea: what about getting small framed photos of you & your hubby with your family (assuming you had those photos taken), or a candid shot that your photographer may have caught of those family members (again, may not be an option). If you have those pics, I’m sure they would LOVE the gift, without feeling awkward that you gifted them for their gift. Another, very specialized, gift might be to invite them (not all at once, obviously – one couple / family at a time!) for a barbecue or dinner, homecooked by you & your hubby. Another gesture to show your appreciation!

You are so thoughtful to want to thank your family! Do remember they did not expect anything back, so don’t go overboard with a gift – you wouldn’t want them to feel awkward. You want to show your appreciation, which can often be show through your actions. I’m sure your appreciation will be conveyed in the thank you note, too!

Post # 4
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009 - Small church ceremony with mountain-view log cabin reception

A personalized thank you note would be good, and a phone call expressing your appreciation would be a great addition.

I believe that as long as you express verbally, your family will know you really appreciated their generous gesture.

You’re sweet for thinking of this! Best of luck and congrats!

Post # 5
Member
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009 - Small church ceremony with mountain-view log cabin reception

Ooooh, I just thought of something.

What if you send them a picture of yourself and your hubby enjoying whatever you purchased with their monetary gift. If it’s a down payment on a house, send a picture of your new home and express to them that they played a part in it. A nice celebration dinner? Same thing. You get the idea!

Just a thought!

Post # 6
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think a thank you note is plenty. You could follow up with a phone call, but I think a gift is a little much. It starts the whole thank you note cycle. They give you a gift, you send a gift to thank them, they write you a thank you note, etc. Stop the insanity! 🙂 They gave you the gift to help you start your future together, save the money and buy something y’all are saving for. 

Post # 7
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Something that might be quite appreciated is copies of any photos of those guests that you get from your photographer.  We are sending all our guests copies of any professional photos that include them.  If you think you owe some guests extra thanks, you might want to print a little bigger photo, or have it matted for them.

I agree with KateMW about the thank you cycle.  We actually are in the middle of this with our pastor, to whom we of course sent a nice thank you for doing the ceremony.  He then sent us a nice thank you for including him and his wife in the Rehearsal Dinner and reception, along with a book.  So we sent a thank you for the book, along with a couple of gift cards (which we had intended to do all along, as he is retired and charges ridiculously little money for his services).  Now we have another thank you from him, along with a nicely bound copy of our ceremony…  the madness truly never ends.

Post # 8
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think the photos are a good idea. Its not too out there and won’t make them feel like they have to send you a thank you note now yet they will realize how much their gift meant to the two of you.

Post # 9
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I called people who had been exceedingly generous after opening cards. I wanted to tell them thank you for being so generous right away. I also followed that up with a thank you cards a couple weeks later. I think that is sufficient. When your wedding photos are available, that might be a nice way to express gratitude as well, but only if it’s someone who would want to display a picture like that (grandparents, parents).

Post # 10
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2005

We did two things….sent a post card from our honeymoon (if people gave us mad money and that bought us an extra day at a B&B, we sent a post-card from the B&B).

And then we both wrote something really nice (and decently long) for each of the mega contributers. The trick is to have both of your write something though. And because our wedding was on 65 people, everyone helped in a big way. We also included a copy of those thank yous in our credits of our wedding video.

Another nice thing you can do is if you purchased something with the moola they gave you or if they gave you a really aweseome gift (say…twelve place settings), then at some point between the wedding and the new year, you call them up and say "hey, I just busted out the flatware for Thanksgiving, and it made me think of you guys. You totally rock!"

Well, you get the idea. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 10 years ago

I think a heartfelt thank you note and a phone call are plenty! They didn’t give you the money for you to buy them something. In fact, I would rethink of giving you so money again…since you’re not saving it and spending them on gifts for others.

The topic ‘Writing More than a Thank you?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors