Post # 1
Hi, I’m relatively new to the boards. I was wondering about something. Six months ago I went to a VERY lavish wedding. On the invitations, they had written "No boxed gifts" on the bottom. I had not seen that before, but it meant to bring cash/gift certificates. What do you all think about this? It’s a nice way to get cash or checks or gift certificates at a time when you really need the money, and also if you don’t live in the area and can’t take a lot of the gifts back on the plane.
I am now considering doing this for my own wedding but I’m a bit concerned because my mom says it can be perceived as "tacky." Would love to hear how most of you view the "no boxed gifts" line on invitations.
Post # 3
Yes, I think that is tacky. You can’t tell someone to buy you a gift, let alone what type of gift.
Post # 4
Uber-tacky, sorry. Basically, etiquette demands that you (the bride) act like any gifts received are a total surprise – technically, even your registry info should be spread through your MOH/BMs/friends rather than from you directly, although I think putting where you’re registered on your wedding website is okay. But putting anything about gifts on the invitation is a HUGE no-no, as is specifying what specifically you expect people to give you ($).
That being said, as a wedding guest I do think it’s thoughtful to either ship large items to the couple ahead of time or give $/gift certificates at the wedding if it is not near their home.
Post # 5
It might be ify to put it on the invitation. On our website where the registries are listed, we put;
<span class=”style_3″ style=”line-height: 16px”>For our convenience and yours, please do not bring any heavy or large items to the wedding. Our address has been listed on the registry, so any items can be shipped to us.
We are travelling along with most of our guests. Also we had a honeyfund registry and put other non-honeymoom items on it. Which told our guests we would like monetary contributions as well.
Post # 6
that’s incredibly rude. don’t do it.
Post # 7
I think only the Indian brides can get away with this one, apparently, it’s not tacky (but commonplace) to do it there, according to another one of the girls here.
Post # 8
Not sure that it would go over well with your more "traditional" guests.
Post # 9
Husband and I were concerned at the time about receiving boxed gifts, but we decided against stating it on the invites and since we had mostly immediate family and close friends attend the wedding, I had many people spread the word for me. We still ended up with about 8 wedding figurines, but 4 of which were from HK and made of gold, so we didn’t mind that! And a very nice Mickey & Minnie wedding frame, but I would say about 99% of our guests understood that we really appreciated monetary gifts over boxed ones. I had a few people ask me whether or not I was registered anywhere and I laughed stating I was registered at any bank they can imagine! It was a way for me to get the point across without blatantly stating we didn’t want boxed gifts, but this is easier for me since my wedding was so intimate. But I would also be on the team of not writing it on invites as you don’t know how some of your guests may react.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
I think its only okay to put on your wedding website (not the actual invite) and you shouldnt flat out imply that you want cash/gift certificates only, but approach it like Cyshas above did and mention that since you’re flying to your wedding it will be dificult to transport big gifts home, all gifts should be sent to your house.
Post # 11
Where I live (Northeast PA) I don’t even have to write it. No-one will bring boxed gifts, only cards with only cash. It’s just how its done here, or at least with all the people I know. I have never even heard of anyone getting a boxed gift in the weddings I have been to. If anyone brought a boxed gift there would be nowhere to put it.
Post # 12
I think it’s incredibly tacky.
Post # 13
Ok, thanks for all the input. When my friend did it at her wedding I didn’t think much of it. I figured it was just convenient. Thanks again.
Post # 14
I agree with the Indian bride thing- it is very commonplace in the Indian community to write no boxed gifts so if you are Indian I would say go for it. . . if you want to get around it you can just register and get what you would want instead of what others would give you (but its not money unfortunately)- but you can often return return registry gifts for money esp at Bed, Bath and Beyond I hear. . .
Post # 15
i got an invite a few months ago that stated nothing heavy or large, as the couple was driving cross country immediately after the wedding to move to their new place. i didn’t think it was tacky, because that reason made sense to me and it’s something i wouldn’t necessarily have thought of. depends on how you state it, i think.
Post # 16
Ok I’m not even blonde and I would have just brought my gift in a bag or just not wrapped. I don’t think that is traditional or very clear at all.