Post # 1
I am just wondering what the norm is on this. Fiance just told me he wrote his vows and wants me to look it over!!! I assumed we would not see each other’s vows until we said them to each other at the ceremony and they would be a surprise!
but then, what if we do them totally different and its weird somehow?
what did you bees do who wrote your own vows? did you and your Fiance read each others in advance? or did was it a surprise at the ceremoy?
i am also worried about crying more if i am hearing them for the first time!
Post # 3
@dynamic_duo: Definitely let it be a surprise! We did this (well, we did “love letters” to each other right before more traditional vows) and it was, hands down, the BEST part of the day. Being really in the moment and hearing the beautiful words that my hubby had written for me was indescribably amazing.
However, I would recommend talking in general terms about what kind of tone you want to use — if one of you goes for mushy and the other goes for silly, it might be a little odd. 🙂
Post # 4
I wrote mine out and tied them up with a ribbon to read at the ceremony. I ended up just improvising in the moment.
Darling Husband never wrote his down at all. When I asked if he had them ready he said “i know what I want to say.”
He just improv-ed too, so no- we didn’t show each other or tell each other before hand.
Post # 5
my Fiance is insisting he wants to email me his vows tonight so i can look them over!
Post # 6
Ours were a surprise. We decided ahead of tie a rough length and certain ideas we wanted to express (fidelity, supporting each other, etc etc) so that one of us wouldn’t write volumes while the other only promised to love the other one and was done. It worked out great!
Post # 7
I’ve heard it suggested before that you have a third party look over them before hand to make sure they are “on the same page” and about the same length, etc etc
Post # 8
@gocubbies: hmm not a bad idea.
Post # 9
We followed a format to write ours and read them over ahead of time. We didn’t want them to be weirdly different (e.g. one short and one long, one sentimental and romantic while the other is funny). This worked really well for us! To still have a surprise element, we each had a friend do a reading that we picked for each other.
Post # 10
We didn’t read each other’s ahead of time, but I wrote mine first and told him approximately how long so that we wouldn’t have unbalanced vows (one that takes 10 seconds to read, and one that takes 10 minutes…) I would say try not to read them in advance unless you’re just into planning EVERYTHING, one of the best parts of the day was hearing our vows.
Post # 11
@gocubbies: I like the idea of having someone read them over I’m kind of scared to go totally blind when we read ours… I’m the more emotional one and he is very to himself about feelings in front of people.
Post # 12
@AmberL215: i was thinkign this too. all along i wanted a surprise, but Fiance couldnt care less. so i finally decided we can look at each others. i will write mine first before looking at his, the after we read each others, we can make changes as we feel is necessary.