(Closed) writing our own vows – do we read each others ahead of time?

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: if you wrote your own vows, did you see your FIs before the ceremony?
    Yes - we both wanted to read each other's before the ceremony : (7 votes)
    28 %
    No - it was a surprise! : (18 votes)
    72 %
  • Post # 3
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    @dynamic_duo: Definitely let it be a surprise! We did this (well, we did “love letters” to each other right before more traditional vows) and it was, hands down, the BEST part of the day. Being really in the moment and hearing the beautiful words that my hubby had written for me was indescribably amazing.

    However, I would recommend talking in general terms about what kind of tone you want to use — if one of you goes for mushy and the other goes for silly, it might be a little odd. 🙂

    Post # 4
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I wrote mine out and tied them up with a ribbon to read at the ceremony.  I ended up just improvising in the moment.

    Darling Husband never wrote his down at all.  When I asked if he had them ready he said “i know what I want to say.”

    He just improv-ed too, so no- we didn’t show each other or tell each other before hand.

    Post # 6
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Ours were a surprise. We decided ahead of tie a rough length and certain ideas we wanted to express (fidelity, supporting each other, etc etc) so that one of us wouldn’t write volumes while the other only promised to love the other one and was done. It worked out great!

    Post # 7
    1313 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’ve heard it suggested before that you have a third party look over them before hand to make sure they are “on the same page” and about the same length, etc etc

    Post # 9
    1371 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We followed a format to write ours and read them over ahead of time.  We didn’t want them to be weirdly different (e.g. one short and one long, one sentimental and romantic while the other is funny).  This worked really well for us!  To still have a surprise element, we each had a friend do a reading that we picked for each other.

    Post # 10
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    We didn’t read each other’s ahead of time, but I wrote mine first and told him approximately how long so that we wouldn’t have unbalanced vows (one that takes 10 seconds to read, and one that takes 10 minutes…)  I would say try not to read them in advance unless you’re just into planning EVERYTHING, one of the best parts of the day was hearing our vows.

    Post # 11
    7 posts
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @gocubbies:  I like the idea of having someone read them over I’m kind of scared to go totally blind when we read ours… I’m the more emotional one and he is very to himself about feelings in front of people.

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