(Closed) writing your own vows?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

We are planning to. I saw a great idea of writing each other’s vows but I don’t think we have the nerve for it.

Post # 4
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We are going to write our own vows … Fiance is very nervous and basically demanded I give him a template! So I said how about start with a list of “I love you because …” and end with a list of “I promise …” and, with that as your inspiration, just go from there. Maybe it won’t be poetry, but I don’t care. It will be us. And I’m working in an easy laugh in mine, because that’s us too 🙂

Post # 5
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We did, but we also had a very small (< twenty people) wedding. I’m not sure I’d be comfortable saying my vows in front of a larger audience. 

If your Fiance isn’t interested in doing them publicly, then one compromise is to write them down and exchange letters–you can give them to each other alone, but you can also exchange them at the ceremony if you want to give them more “occasion.” You can even tee them up by agreeing to extract appropriate segments that you don’t mind reading in front of everyone and having the officiant announce, “Now bride and groom will read excerpts from their vows.” 

Another option, if your Fiance is resistant because he feels he doesn’t express himself well verbally and isn’t into the idea of writing in general, is to do something personal and ceremonial that has a similar effect, like choosing a poem, song lyric, Bible verse, or even something like a picture, flower, or object to represent how you feel about the other person or what the other person means to you. Then you don’t have to do much of the writing yourself. 

Post # 6
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Fiance and I are writing our with a theme and similar word counts so that it sounds cohesive. We’re doing past, present, future for about 200 words. 

Post # 7
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

We did! He might surprise you. Darling Husband procrastinated and got his in late. I gave him no guidance at all, but when he read them at the ceremony, literally, people were weeping. My pastor actually said “can you top that?” before I started reading mine. Mine were alright. Hahaha. He liked them, and that’s all that matters. I wouldn’t change a word of them.

Oh, to answer the question, all I told him was how long it took me to read mine aloud, and he tried to match. I really wanted for each of us to say whatever we felt was important to say in however many words. They weren’t cohesive, but he’s not very outwardly romantic, and I was excited to hear him describe our love however he thought best.

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