Writing your own vows? Tell me about them!

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 17
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

desertgypsy :  I got them from bluebrd, thank you! This will be my personal project over thanksgiving.. 

Post # 18
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We wrote ours the week before the wedding. Definitely practice saying them out loud until it feels natural. That was the most important part for me. I wrote lots of joke lines, then cut most of them for time because we were keeping our vows around 200 words. Here are some of my favorites:

I promise to treat you with love, patience, and respect; using sarcasm in good times and resisting the urge in bad.

Even when my to-do list is a mile long, I promise to try to slow down and breathe.

I’ll keep track of the calendar if you maintain the spreadsheets. You’ll build the robot, and I’ll handle the paperwork to get us to competition. (this is a reference to our high school robotics team)

I’ll do the cooking if you do the dishes. I’ll trade you anything if you do the laundry.

I promise to tell you exactly why I’m upset, as soon as I figure it out for myself.

And so, with this ring I claim you publicly, now and for all time.

This ring is my wager in the 50/50 gamble that is modern day marriage. Bring on the future.

desertgypsy :  I’d love to hear yours when you finish writing them 🙂

Post # 19
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My husband and I agreed on format, word count, and general tone before writing them. Once we did, our close friend and officiant read both over to make sure they “matched.” Our guests loved our vows and couldn’t believe we’d written them totally independently. We opted for very short – 150 words – and lighthearted but sweet. So a few jokes and a few more serious lines. 

Post # 20
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We eloped and completely wrote our own ceremony. We wrote our own vows and recited the same thing to each other. We felt it important to promise the same things to each other. Prior to that we each wrote a little love letter to each other and read something very personal, so we had the best of both. We also did a handfasting where she wrapped our hands as we were saying our vows. I also have a poem about hands which also works for handfasting. When our family saw our short little video they all sobbed. I am happy to share with you. 🙂

Post # 22
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

desertgypsy :  DH and I both wrote our own. I tried to pick a theme to mine that had meaning for us (it was that I’m a “fighter” as I fight for things I want in life…he had called me that once before) and then wrote maybe 7-8 lines along things that I vowed to “fight for” in our marriage. A few were really meaningful, a few were meant to be funny (such as, I’ll fight with you, but only until you admit I’m right). They were pretty short and sweet, but I felt like picking the theme really helped me get my thoughts out, because without it I was sort of jumping all over the place with my thoughts. That could have just been me though.

Darling Husband sort of used a theme, although it was his love for things, and how those loves brought us together type theme. Both were not too long but also not super short. Our entire ceremony lasted maybe 10 mins, and that might even be a stretch.

I had my SIL (DH’s sister) read mine, because I knew she’d also read his. I just wanted to make sure they were not only good, but sort of on the same wavelength so that one of us wasn’t SUPER sappy or SUPER casual/funny or that one was way longer than the other, etc. She loved them both and said they both made her cry so she thought they passed the test lol.

Hope that’s helpful!

Post # 23
Member
9604 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

We wrote ours together and said the same ones. We used some classic vows as starting points and added on from there. They were succinct and serious- no jokes! Not the place to do it IMO. I dont really want to post them but if you want Ill PM you.

Post # 24
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

i love when people do their own vows. It makes the ceremony very personal.

i wouid suggest having your officiant have some of the ‘normal’ vows, and then you and your Fiance can come in at the end and add in a few that are specific to you guys. So go ahead and have the usual “do you poopsie, take this man to be your…,”  .  Then add in your own special “I promise to make you toast every single morning; I promise to massage your feet every night, etc.” 

Try to keep your own part short – because chances are you’ll be overcome with emotion at that point. If you’re crying no one will hear what you’re saying. If it’s short, you’ll get your chance to have your moment in front of everyone, but it won’t be 20 minutes of crying that no one understands. 

Post # 25
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

My officiant suggested writing letters to each other about what life was like before we met, after together and will be in the future and pulling vows from that. 

As for not crying… I’m going to be a blubbering mess so let me know if you figure it out. 

Post # 26
Member
8266 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

desertgypsy :  

I think if the vows  are too intensely personal  and  sentimental  it is perfectly cringeworthy as a guest, making one feel like a kind of voyeur. The  vows to me should be short and dignified , not a public spectacle of ‘ hey everyone look how much he and I looooove each other and here are some detailed examples of it’. But  I’m English,  so ……. 

 

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