(Closed) Wrong? Insensitive?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
107 posts
Blushing bee

@amazonbunny:   If you dont rally talk to them and only see them once a year I dont think you should feel obligated to invite them. It is your wedding, and you are footing the bill. While youre father may not like it, it is not up to him, it is your special day and he should respect your wishes. Maybe if you explained the reasons he may not make as big a fuss.

Post # 4
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I don’t know if this helps, but you’re doing the right thing. People who you see once a year don’t need to be at such an intimate celebration of part of your life, and since everyone is close they don’t “need” a date as much as they would at a wedding of 300 where they barely know you.

Post # 5
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Stick to your guns.  I am not inviting one of my sisters, and no aunts, uncles or cousins will be invited either.  I didnt give my parents a say in it, I just told them (in a nice way) “this is my guest list” and didn’t give them the option for a comment.

Post # 7
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with Firie and Mabellebliss. Stick to your guns on the fact that you are keeping it a very intimate wedding with your closest loved ones. If they aren’t paying for the wedding then they shouldn’t have any say in who is invited. Good luck!

Post # 9
3265 posts
Sugar bee

You are 100% within etiquette to not invite the ramdom family members.

The only thing about +1s is that regardless of size and intimacy level social units still my be invited together (married, engaged and living together couples). Otherwise you are good.

Post # 10
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think that you are doing anything wrong. It sounds like you should stay firm and stcik to your original list

Post # 11
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Stick to your guns!

We’re having a small wedding (60ish) and I’m already a bit resentful over the 6 extra people that my mom invited.  Although, to be fair, she is contributing to our wedding (we’re covering the majority, but it’s still something to take into account).  If your parents aren’t paying for anything, you have FULL control over the guestlist.  Don’t get pressured!

Post # 12
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Since you guys are paying, you have the final Say. Stick to it!

Post # 13
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Reapeat after me: “We would love to invite ___ but unfortunately we can only invite 40 people.” Period.

Post # 14
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I was invited to at least 5 weddings without a plus one when I was single, and never considered it “tacky.” You have complete control over the list, so stick to it. I’m only inviting one of twelve cousins, despite my family contributing- we picked guests that we’re close to- we’re not inviting anyone that neither of us knows personally.

Post # 15
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I guess I’m alone in this, but I actually feel like you should invite the brother and sister. Even though you rarely see them, a wedding IS a family event, I’m sure your dad is super excited about it, and it’s only 2 more people, right? 

As for the other stuff, I would still say stick to your guns– you don’t need random cousins at a 40 person wedding, and I’m sure no one will be upset about no plus one at such an intimate wedding. I think it would actually be uncomfortable to BE the plus one at a small intimate wedding where everyone else knew each other, you know?

Post # 16
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with Pinkmoon. If they’re not chipping in financial, they forfeit any say so in the matter.

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