(Closed) Wrong to be annoyed with mom for ruining surprise?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Let it gooooooo Let it gooooooo!!!

Post # 3
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

Yes, I would just let it go. I believe your mom feels terrible enough ruining the surprise, as long as you don’t know the details about the brunch you will be okay and can still be surpised. laughing

Post # 4
Member
2175 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Heck yeah you have a right to be annoyed.  I think you’re handling the situation the right way – acknowledging the validity of your feelings but keeping them to yourself.

Post # 5
Member
833 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

It was an accident and she already feels terrible. Be annoyed for a couple more minutes and then let it go!

Post # 6
Member
1197 posts
Bumble bee

Nah, you get to be annoyed since it’s a pattern of …carelessness?…on her part. 

It’s nice of you not to make your mom feel worse about it, and it is too bad the surprise it ruined. But aside from knowing it exists, you will still get to be surprised by all the details. Plus, now maybe you can make sure you look extra amazing for all the photos. 🙂

If you really are a bad actress  you may want to say something to your Maid/Matron of Honor beforehand. “Someone let slip there’s going to be a brunch *insert gushing excitement and gratitude* but you can keep when/where/theme a mystery!”

Post # 7
Member
622 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
wawa92017 :  I think it’s fair to feel a little annoyed/disappointed, but it’s over and done now and there isn’t anything you can really do about it. Just move on and enjoy your brunch!tongue-out

Post # 8
Member
2544 posts
Sugar bee

Ah! When you told me she cried that just broke my heart. I understand why you would be annoyed, and it’s hard when you deal with it on a regular basis and it seems so simple to you, but she’s clearly not meaning to.

My mum and I both have adult ADD that present in different ways, and some peoples brains just work differently no matter how hard they try. She was always forgetting permission slips or to pick me up, and it really hurt sometimes when I was little, but when I saw how much it pained her and how much she struggled.. Honestly it likely hurts her more than you. People get frustrated with me as well because even though I’m very strong academically and a higher than average performer at work, things that are crazy easy for other people – like making appointments, or feeding myself properly – feel absolutely impossible to me. It drives people in my life mad sometimes.

Try to have some sympathy for her, I know it’s hard to deal with, but remember that she has to deal with it – and it’s effects – all day, every day. 

Post # 9
Member
6549 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Oh honey, you need to learn how to let stuff go.

Post # 10
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Certainly you can be disappointed. But seriously, you told us your mother has no attention to detail. Were you expecting something different when it came to you getting married?

Post # 11
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

View original reply
wawa92017 :  let it go. I feel you though, my mum posted on a friends Facebook wall inviting them to a surprise going away part for me when I was going travelling. To this day she does not know that I found out – my now Fiance, however, was also in on the surprise and was devastated when I told him what I’d seen.

Post # 12
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017


wawa92017 :
  let it go. I feel you though, my mum posted on a friends Facebook wall inviting them to a surprise going away part for me when I was going travelling. To this day she does not know that I found out – my now Fiance, however, was also in on the surprise and was devastated when I told him what I’d seen.

Post # 13
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

I’d just let it go. Your mom sounds so much like my mom with the whole being aloof with important things and buying things for me that I was allergic to when I was younger! I understand why you feel annoyed but at least she feels super bad. She didn’t mention the date or anything specific, did she? Then it it is still a bit of surprise!

Post # 14
Member
6331 posts
Bee Keeper

One day I think it will make for a hilarious story about you and your mom. I know it’s frustrating in the moment, but it’s really small potatoes. 

Post # 15
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
wawa92017 :  I definitely think you should let it go,.  I understand the frustration, but sayung your mum ‘should have learnt by now’ is not reallly fair, it sounds like she does care, so its not purposeful mistakes but maybe just how she is wired? I know a few people who are just scatterbrains, no matter how hard they try.  My brain failing is dates, ive forgotten heaps of important birthdays and felt awful, but i just cant seem to remember them.  I have a diary i write them in to but if i miss seeing the note, then i forget to wish a happy birthday to my dad, siblings, best friends etc.

Try and put it in perspective too – you are lucky to have family and fruends care for you so much that they want to throw a suprise party in your honour!  My mother and i have not spoken for a year, since i found a notebook with a letter saying how much she wished she never had me.

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