(Closed) WTF is happening here?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Rachel631:  omg sounds like a nightmare, maybe it’s time she does step down?

Post # 5
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Rachel631:  is she a friend or a relative? She sounds like she doesn’t give a sh*t. I’m sorry, I’d be very upset 

Post # 6
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I assume she’s kinda a flake in all situations?  I have friends like that.  They are not in my bridal party.

Post # 8
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Rachel631:  wow… All that help from everyone and she’s still screwing up? You definitely should be angry, she’s a mess. I think you should cut the loss of the dress money because honestly she might come around then flake out again, I mean god forbid she doesn’t show up to the wedding!

Post # 9
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Rachel631:  lol I think that’s pretty much how it goes! I’ve had close family acting crazy, friends acting crazy. Just breathe and focus on your wedding and marriage. I totally understand how you feel though 

Post # 10
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Rachel631:  

Yes – I never realised it before I started organising my own wedding but people are often AHOLES about someone else having a special day. If it’s not about them they resent it – even if it’s a priority for you that all your guests etc have a good time.

I don’t get it myself. I would ditch her. Best case scenario is she turns up and all you have to put up with is a few unhappy looks RE the dress.

When you look at your photos do you want to remember how much she mucked you around or do you just want to remember having other people there that cared.

I would go with someone else – maybe you can reduce your dress cost lost somehow?

It’s common to match the bridesmaid dresses but have slightly different styles and the exact same colour. Maybe you can replace it with one that is very close but a little cheaper?

Maybe you know someone handy enough to alter it? If other people you know are smaller that is an advantage because it’s much easier to take in a dress than make it bigger?

I don’t really believe in this day and age that she has no phone – I think she’s a nutjob who regulates who can contact her for some reason.

As for the photographer we managed to find someone who is a very good amateur photographer. We are paying him much less than a professional but he has shown a lot more forethought than most professionals in seeing the venue, working out when and where the best light is etc.

On top of that we won’t be paying for individual prints and we’ll just get to keep them all. When you ask around you might find you have a few possible affordable candidates.

Post # 11
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hope it all works out, even if that means that she doesn’t attend (that will at least save you the food and alcohol!).

 

In terms of people showing their bad sides when it comes to wedding, I think it is one of those opportunities when people feel free to voice their own opinions because they feel like they know the subject. The stuff I got from my Future Mother-In-Law… I even got a book for Christmas on “how to be a good wife”…

 

And one more not in terms of your situation, if finances are tight – perhaps spend the wedding photography money on a nice camera for yourself? Then you can give it to a trusted friend during the wedding + use it to document the first years of your married life!

Post # 12
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow your friend sounds awful- i would totally kick her out of the wedding!! You don’t need the added stress and like MrsRichard said, she may not even show up to your big day. My Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t as bad as your bridesmaid but she was selfish and wanted things her way too- when everything was said and done i realized she was acting that way because she’s disappointed with they way her life has turned out (crappy job and crappy boyfriend after boyfriend, etc.). I guess seeing me happy with my life put together was too much for her…

I also agree with you about how wedding planning brings out craziness in people- the whole process for me was excruciatingly painful, I absolutely HATED planning my wedding because everyone and anyone had an opinion of how MY wedding day should be…ugh I’m getting PTSD just thinking about it. On the big day though, my husband and I had so much fun!! I’m sure your wedding will be absoulutely amazing! In the meantime just learn to smile and nod at anyone who tries to butt in (but in your head you can be cursing them out haha). Do what makes you happy and don’t let anyone ruin your big day!

Post # 14
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I say give her the boot. She’ll definitely respond then. A friend like that is not really a friend at all.

Post # 15
Member
259 posts
Helper bee

She sounds like a flaky flake, if it is not to late, drop her A double S

Post # 16
Member
8670 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

maybe she is homeless at the moment and that is why she is being what you call cagey about her address. You say she is unemployed and lives across the country so how would you know?

Maybe you shoudl try talking to her about her and not about the wedding. Maybe tell ehr you are concerned about her welfare.

 

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