Post # 1
Anyone that has followed my cousin’s drama knows that she has crossed some lines with me…So the saga continues. I just received a text **Joel** (cousin’s Fiance for this purpose) put the deposit for the reception hall, so we are getting married Aug 7th…one week before my wedding, really?
So I told her then I can’t be in your wedding party I won’t be any good if I’m stressing over what I need to get done for my wedding that will be 500 miles away. She responds well if you are still around just come as a guest.
Okay, so I’m somewhat relieived b/c I didn’t really want to be in it and two I was trying to find away to tell her “your stressing me and I want you out my wedding party”. (God works in mysterious ways)
So here’s what’s rubbing me the wrong way. She was suppose to be my Maid/Matron of Honor so she knows quite a few details in regards to my wedding since I’ve been planning since Feb. She now is a 2 dress bride (yes, many brides are), but why is it strapless and tea length like mine? Oh yes and then there’s this:
cousin “I’m found a veil like yours that I’m going to be wearing, except mines is attached to a headband” (we’re talking birdcage veil)
Me “oh, what made you decide to get one like mine?”
cousin “ummm…because it’s different and I like it.”
Now I’m questioning myself, is she using my ideas so that she can say oh Jay copied me b/c she saw it at my wedding or should I believe my Fiance and just take it as imitation is the best form of flattery?
Post # 3
Oh man. My friend is going through the exact same situation. (911 Call to all bees!) — Sorry, I haven’t quite figured out how to link yet. Even though she probably already knows too much, stop telling her stuff or feed her false information! My friend’s “cousin” bought the exact same wedding dress as her as well and upped her date to so she could beat my friend.
Post # 4
Ohh that is so hard!
I am sure that she is just copying you because she loves your style but I would be FURIOUS! And if she is that kind of person she may say you copied just to get attention!
I would talk to her! Have coffee with her and let her know that you would like her to come up with her own ideas and that you really want each of your weddings to be unique!
Post # 5
Imitation is the best for m of flattery. Unless you look a lot alike, these things will look different on you anyway. Besides, I am sure you would see it as flattery if it were anyone on Weddingbee borrowing your ideas so don’t hold it agianst her, consider it a validation of your good taste.
Post # 6
Well, since you said in another post that she views you like a sister, I would venture to say that it is,”Imitation is the best form of flattery.” At this point, though, leave as many details out as you can so that you don’t have to continue to feel like she’s copying you. I think it will be worth your sanity!!!!
Post # 7
Good for you for standing your ground jaydee1125.
As for her trying to copy you, I know the whole “imatation is the sincerest form of flattery” saying but still it’s annoying! Maybe next time you two talk you should be like “Oh I changed my mind about blah blah etc etc” that is the details she is copying, then tell her you changed your mind because you don’t think they look good anymore. Maybe she will decide they aren’t the best ideas she she copied you to begin with, then they can be yours again .
And obviously don’t tell her any more details since she just seems to copy you. Maybe you should go the “kill them with sweetness” route and ask her about her ideas first then really encourage them.
Post # 8
I’m just so annoyed by this all and she keeps asking to see my dress and what flowers are you going to use and on and on…
Fiance was very harsh with her when he found out b/c he adores her like a little sis too but he tends to be very direct and she’s very sensitive. He told her to stop copying and be creative and get her own ideas (clean version)…
@slicey19 – you’re right if it were another bee I wouldn’t be upset at all…but it’s her and she is always doing this to me.
Post # 9
@jaydee1125 – it sounds like even you guys were close there is some animosity between you.
I would probably be upset also if if was a close family member or even a close friend. I’d have to agree I’d feel like they were stealing my ideas and if it were a fellow bee, I’d be flattered. Perhaps it is because acctually knowing the person you have mutual family members and friends so you don’t want them seeing your wedding as being so similar.
I’d stick with not sharing any more details about your wedding. Your fiance is right in that she does need to get her own ideas. A lot of our ideas come from something we saw on this or that site from someone else’s wedding but surely she has to know it is not cool for your cousin’s wedding to look so similar to your wedding with just a week apart. Perhaps she is a little jealous of you or wants to be like you?
Post # 10
OK, so I understand the comment “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” but it is hard to handle when it is a family member who is copying off of you when their wedding is a week prior to your own. Sure you won’t be mad if a fellow Bee used your ideas but your guests are not attending that wedding. There’s the difference!
I am a big believer in that when things are duplicated, it will look different because a person may use a product or where a piece of clothing differently. I just think this kind of duplication is unneccessary.
@Jaydee – I would just not share any more of your wedding details with this woman. You don’t have to mislead her but you have the right to refrain from saying anything about your wedding to anyone. This is your special day, make it your own! The good thing about this situation is that you have a lot of time on your hands if you wanted to change things up. Take you time in picking things out and don’t let this woman take away your dream wedding!
Post # 11
Hmm…Roddybride09 gave me an idea. since she is asking about your dress and flowers, then maybe throw something at her that you are not considering at all and see if she takes that idea too? I would be curious to see what she comes up with…
Post # 12
I’m all for the idea that you feed her the “wrong” information. How will she know what you’ve already decided on and finalized??? Protect your info like you would your bank account #.
Post # 13
LOL what great ideas. I was talking to the Mr. and he agreed with everyone. His words were “Just b/c you are happy doesn’t mean everyone is happy for you.” – With that said I’ll have to keep my excitement to myself and Maid/Matron of Honor (SIL not cousin). Mom is wonderful but can’t keep a secret.
Post # 14
There you go Jaydee! That’s the spirit!
Post # 15
That sucks! But you can only control yourself, you can’t control her. So keep zipped lips on all the rest of your details.
Also it might help to think of it this way – some of the things you’ve listed are just really popular right now (tea length bride’s dresses, bird cage veils) and just b/c you’re doing them doesn’t mean she shouldn’t get to.
Hang in there! 😀
Post # 16
cbgg – very true that tea length dresses and birdcage veils are popular right now – but she didn’t know what a birdcage veil was until I showed her. LOL this is just annoyingly funny to me now.