(Closed) WTF? Now I'll never sleep. (Weird convo with FI) vent

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think the trip to the doctor is a good idea. Good luck!

Post # 4
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ok firstly, before you let your imagine run away with you, I’m going to be literal here:

1) Did your ex smoke ox rollies?

2) Have you smelt anything like that the house?- Is your house secure?

3) Does the stuff you clean the coffee machine with smell like that?

4) He’s obviously had the brain tumour thing on his mind with his migraine so he’s said it as an off the cuff remark, going to the docs as a precausion is a good idea but I wouldn’t let yourself get caught up in that until- if there was anything to worry about.

5)  Put this all to one side and try and think of something that makes you feel relaxed, put something on the TV and think that anything that you’re worried about can wait until morning.


Post # 6
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@RedJezabel:  And the chickens sleep with the dogs and they’ll easily startle at night and be loud.

I read that 5 times and am still confused. You have chickens? And they sleep with the dogs? Or you are the chicken?


Haha…anywho, I totally get what you’re going through. I freak at every sound and thought of danger. I can’t watch Law and Order before bed because i’ll just lay there thinking of someone coming in and killing me. Three big dogs and I still freak at every door shutting.
It sucks. I really don’t have any advice other than try and relax. I watch funny shows before heading to bed and then say my prayers.



Post # 8
2755 posts
Sugar bee

@RedJezabel:  Okay if you have pictures of this you HAVE to post them! That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard πŸ˜€ I want pictures of the sleeping piles and the food.

Post # 9
2755 posts
Sugar bee

As PP said, it’s best to just put stuff like this out of your mind and let it go. Remind yourself that the house is secure and honestly, brain tumors are rare and I think normally don’t present as painful – more loss of balance, etc.

It’s funny, when I lived with my ex-FI I was always paranoid about stuff and scared, but now that I’m on my own I’m not – probably because if I let myself be scared even for a minute, it’d take me over since I *am* alone lol.

Post # 10
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It might make you feel a little better to know that when I have a migraine I frequently smell things that aren’t there.  Tops on my list are food and stale smoke.  I taste them too, it’s very unsettling.

Hope you get some rest. πŸ™‚

Post # 11
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Smelling bad smells (that aren’t always there) is like my once-a-month curse. Everything stinks! Even good things smell bad to me! I’m just out-of-whack and it stops happening after the week’s over. Even food smells like other things to me sometimes (yeah, sometimes cigarettes which is awful)
It could be one of you was near someone who smoke (maybe not even smoked near you) and their smell just rubbed off on a jacket or something.

Anyway, if you’re worried it’s a real smell, spray the room (or any piled up laundry) down with a dilluted vinegar mix (maybe when everyone’s not in the room) and that should clear up any lingering smells. And no, when it dries it doesn’t smell like vineger (but when it’s wet it smells like vinegar for sure). You can look it up if you like. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
132 posts
Blushing bee

I have heard that people with migraines can experience olfactory (smell) hallucinations (and sometimes even visual hallucinations), these are not unusual in migraines. (Dr. Oliver Sacks a well known neurologist with migraines himself wrote a book about migraines which discusses this phenomena.) It hasn’t always been reported because people are sometimes embarassed to admit this distortions in perception.

Post # 13
3340 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

Calm down!  It could be nothing.  We used to be able to smell neighboring apartments in our old place.  He could just be smelling smoke from next door.

Post # 14
982 posts
Busy bee

@RedJezabel:  do you ever leave windows open during the day? Does a neighbour smoke? If they do, the smoke may be floating into your house. Not to make you paranoid, but regularly check the windows outside to make sure they haven’t been tampered with, and make your house as hard as possible to break into (everyone should do this whether they have a stalker or not). You can’t make a house completely intruder-proof, but you can make it harder for them, and easier for you to see the evidence if someone tries. Have you smelt the stale smoke? Another thing – have either of you maybe worn a jacket or something to a pub where there were smokers? I’ve found that sometimes a house can smell smokey because there is just one object in there that has absorbed cigarette smoke. Just because he can smell it and you can’t, might just mean his nose is a bit more sensitive to smoke. There could be many different reasons, don’t assume the worst but be vigilant anyway.

Taking your Fiance to the doctor is a good idea. If they don’t suggest it, insist in a CT scan. I once had bad headaches, and the doctor sent me for a CT scan before prescribing anything – precautionary. He wanted to rule out more serious causes first.

Hoping everything is fine and there’s a simple reason for the smell.

Post # 15
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Cigarette smoke is kind of like Lazarus…it will rise from beyond at odd times…and it can seem really suspicious, but depending on your home, the fixtures, paint and flooring it it and the heating system, sunlight hitting the right spot on a wall with just a little humidity in the air can revive the prior owner’s habitual aroma like nobody’s business….it’s weird, but it happens.

The exact same thing happens in the old gentleman’s room at the Stanley Hotel…it’s been totally refurbished and painted and all of that, but when the sun heats up the cherry tables, the smoke they absorbed from the 1800’s starts to waft through the air.

Probably a residual thing, no worries…

Post # 16
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@RedJezabel:  Chickens and dogs! Too cute. πŸ™‚ OK, sorry you were upset last night. I hope you got some rest. Check your property, inside, out, the perimeter. Ask trusted neighbors if they’ve spotted anyone unusual lurking around your home. Good to get your sweetie checked at the doctor and hope it all turns out ok. In the meantime, go visit your chickens and dogs to make you smile and relax.

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