(Closed) WTF! RSVP related!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Time to make that phone call!

Post # 4
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think that’s terrible, I understand you are frustrated but this did not increase your expected number of guests from that family. Of course it wasn’t the exact people you invited and may not be ideal but I don’t think that is a reason to get yourself worked up.

Post # 5
Bee
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

That is so frustrating, and unfortunately not uncommon!  I just hope I always remember how this felt and never ever do anything remotely like this!  I always think in these situations, “Um, so have these people really never had a party with a tight guest list?” Boggles the mind!

Post # 6
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I say pick your battles.  You were planning on 3 people coming, and 3 people are coming.  It’s annoying that it’s someone you don’t know instead of the family friend you were expecting, but at least they didn’t try to squeeze him on as a fourth!

If you really need the extra spot and are close enough to Lisa, maybe try explaining to her that you don’t want people who you hardly know at your wedding, and ask if she’d uninvite him…. but to me that seems awkward, and you run the risk of the entire family not coming. 

Post # 7
Member
46331 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I disagree with a previous poster. It is terrible, it is rude, it is ignorant. 3 people were invited. 1 person was not. You do not get to invite yourself in lieu of someone else who cannot attend.

I would simply call them up, explain that you had others you wished to invite (due to budget or room size constraints) if anyone couldn’t make it, and are sorry but you will not be able to accomodate the bf.

It’s easy to say ‘pick your battles’ but if 10 people did this, that’s 10 people at your wedding who you likely don’t even know and who are keeping you from inviting 10 people you do know who you were unable to invite on the A list.

 

Post # 9
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Ew. I would be super annoyed, but I agree with PP – pick your battles.

Post # 10
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Frustrating, yes, but still the same amount of guests.  I might have done something similar if I was in their situation. 

I just want to say that I think the idea of an A list and a B list for invites is not the best idea…it looks gift grabby (not saying you are). Just my opinion though.

Post # 11
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think you need to call and explain the situation to them. They may not know any better. If you can let if go, then do that, but if it is going to bug you, you need to take care of it immediately

Post # 12
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with @Julies1949, just because you had invited 3, they can’t substitute whomever they want because someone else cannot attend. I would call and be nice and say it was intended for those 3 specifically and you have budget restraints and if the mom cannot come then you have other people you would like to invite so regretably boyfriend X cannot come.

Simple, truthful, straight forward.

Post # 13
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yep, I feel your frustration this happened to us. Except a kid was put in place of the non-attending adult.  We are not having kids except the immediate family and bridal party.

&$&*#$*#!

Post # 14
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Ugh.  I don’t know if you can do anything about it, but that’s just so irritating.

Post # 16
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@zebracakes:In that situation, I’d make a call and explain that you are having an adult-only event.

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