(Closed) WTH is wrong with my friends?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow so rude!  Do they not understand that you can’t just turn a corner and get a job?  I think that you should step away from people like that who can’t understand the realities of life.

Post # 4
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Maybe they think your feelings would be hurt if they didn’t extend the invitation? 

Post # 5
Member
5784 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Are they just trying to make sure you feel included? (trying to find the positive here). The one who said “gee, get a job already” needs to be slapped though.

Post # 6
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

It may be insensitive, but they also dont want you to feel left out because you are unemployed. Is it possible they are going out of their way to not change their behavior and their activities to make sure they aren’t treating you any differently? Or maybe they think its not an issue being unemployed if your husband is still working.

Eitherway, have you told them that thanks for the invite, that you love that they are thinking of you, but you cant afford to go? Mention that soon you all should plan a day where you can all hang out, but doing a budget friendly activity (may a girls night in and everyone brings some nibbles and a bottle of wine)

Post # 7
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

wow! obviously these people don’t understand what’s happening in this economy — you can’t “just go get a job” today. they might not want to hurt your feelings by not inviting you…i would try to talk to them again.

Post # 8
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Personally, I’d rather be invited and decline than be completely excluded from the group. Just because your invited doesn’t mean you have to go. Being out of work and having no money sucks and along with that means missing out on expensive things. However, at anytime you can invite friends over for a movie night, dollar redboxes are always a good idea and have your friends BYOB. That way you can still hang out with them.

The friend that told you to “get a job already” is an idiot and very immature to say that, but maybe because you haven’t been around much they just don’t get it?

Post # 9
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe, instead of not including you from their activities they continue to invite you because they don’t want you to feel as if they have forgotten about you and no longer want you to spend time with you. Also, people not living in the same situation may find it hard to sympathize or realize that this may hurt your feelings.

Could you try letting a friend know that as much as you would love to attend their extravagant parties that at the moment it is not feasible for you to do so? Invite them to go have coffee or invite them over for you to make them lunch instead.

Post # 10
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I was thinking the same thing that @missrobots was thinking, but the friend that made the comment about you needing to get a job was out of line. Maybe some of your friends may feel like not inviting you would be rude, and those friends may not be thinking the same way as your friend that was rude to you.

I think you should let them know that you can’t afford to go on those trips until you find a job. Maybe they don’t realize how the it makes you feel when you are invited to these events that you can’t afford.

Post # 11
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m sort of hurt that they even asked

although it must be hurtful and frustrating for you, i think what your friend is trying to do is not exclude you

goodluck, i hope things happen for your soon

Post # 13
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think they are just trying to not make you feel excluded.  For example, we have people from out of state we invited to the wedding who my Fiance didn’t want to because he said they wouldn’t be able to afford it.  I told him that isn’t a choice for us to make for them.

Rude friend though.  That’s certainly not called for.

Post # 14
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with PPs that they’re probably just trying to include you.  Would you rather they didn’t even invite you or didn’t tell you about what they were doing?  Although you’re not able to attend, which is completely understandable in this economy, I think it’s nice that they’re not trying to exclude you.

Post # 16
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree, unless they’re rude about you declining the invitations try to let is slide.  which is worse: inviting you knowing you can’t afford it or not inviting you at all?

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