Post # 16
LilliV : Lol – these babies know how to test us. My son had no issues with a bottle when needed but of course I have no idea what this baby will be like.
We would plan to get an air bnb near the reception so that we could be comfortable and have a suitable place for both babies if needed (I think the other couple are local enough that they can go home after the wedding – only issue with this is weddings in this country go on all night….. we Brits aren’t used to that so not sure what will happen if we need to leave earlier)
cclarkrun1 : I am pleased it worked out. My friend is very happy to help us find a suitable person to baby sit. I haven’t spoken to her about the language need. I am sure she would try to find an English speaker but need to plan in case she can’t.
I think if we just had our first this would be totally different but with the second I know so much more about how it might be at 6months that I feel a lot more comfortable with doing things like this.
Post # 17
I also wouldn’t go. I know that you say that’s not an option, but it seems like way too much of a hassle. I would like to say make a family trip out of it and hire someone to go with you, but that seems like it would be really expensive, so I think if you insist on going, you should leave the toddler with grandparents. The toddler is young enough that they won’t remember being left home.
Post # 18
Usually in these situations my husband or I go alone and the other stays with our son. It sucks, but it is what it is since we are not local to family and don’t really want to put the obligation on family members to watch our child. If you’re not willing to go alone then I would leave your toddler with family and find a sitter for the baby that’s local to the wedding. Seems like a whole lot of hassle for a wedding though.
Post # 19
Twizbe : Totally. We have two kids and ran into this issue earlier this spring with an Out of Town wedding. We ended up taking our 3 month old (and ditching our 2 year old with my husband’s parents for the weekend) and then I pumped and the babysitter just bottlefed her while we were at the reception (we stopped back between the wedding and reception to check in). As it turned out, everyone was just fine. She spoke English- as we do, so I guess it wasn’t that much of an issue, but I would think that as long as your sitter knew the basics you’d be all set. I’m always up for an adventure, and it sounds like you guys will have a spectacular time, whatever you decide! Enjoy 🙂
Post # 20
I personally wouldn’t go, but since you are hell bent on going, I would do some research to find a babysitter who speaks english. Then take either one or both kids. Since you are taking a mini vacation, I lean towards both kids, but I get that it would be way easier if you just had the baby.
I think bringing parents sounds too complicated, and with all their other issues (flying, missing a birthday, dog, etc) would be too much hassle.
Post # 21
Can you go to the wedding and have your husband stay back with the kids?
Post # 22
WWYD is in the header, so WIWD is not go. Why is it not an option, you don’t want to break your streak of attending weddings?
You have more energy than I do, and more tolerance and patience. Considering inconveniencing parents and in-laws over a destination wedding, for a bride who is not considerate enough to make an exception for you (exceptions are more needed in a destination wedding than a one-day in town one), I really want to hear more about why this is so important to you.
Post # 23
Twizbe : If you’re set on going, do what you want. This, “My preferred option is to leave oldest here and use the local baby sitter. Hubby doesn’t like it though as he doesn’t want oldest to miss out on a trip” – isn’t a valid reason. Your oldest will be too young to remember the trip. If anything, it’ll be more comfortable for him to miss the trip.
Post # 24
I wouldn’t go.
Why can’t you all go (husband and kids) and only you attend the wedding? Make a family vacation out of the rest of it.
Post # 25
I wouldn’t go. That all sounds like a huge hassle. Bringing kids and leaving them with a babysitter they don’t know or that speaks the same language sounds like a recipe for disaster. 6 months is when a baby starts to have stranger anxiety.
You say you never do much to celebrate your parent’s anniversary, but 40 years is a pretty big one. I wouldn’t leave a child at home with them when it’s their anniversary.
If you weren’t nursing, I would say go alone since you are not wanting to break your track record of wedding attendance, but you can’t leave the baby home unless you want to pump for the weekend. The other option would be all go, but your husband could watch the kids at the hotel.
Post # 26
Twizbe : I would leave both kids with my parents and go to wedding.
Post # 27
penny1403 : That seems really selfish to me. It’s the parent’s 40th wedding that weekend. I don’t think I’d want to babysit 2 very young grandchildren on a milestone wedding anniversary so their parents can go to a destination wedding.
Post # 28
Twizbe : If she’s such a good friend, you should ask her if she’d make an exception with your kids. If not, she’s not being a good friend and I wouldn’t go
Post # 29
I’m quite surprised by the flak for wanting to go to a wedding ….
just to clarify some things. My reasons for wanting to go are not ‘to maintain my unbroken wedding attendance’ they are
1) bride is a really good friend, I support her marriage and am so happy that she’s found such a great husband.
2) I think this is quite a british thing, but I see a wedding invite as an honour. Especially if it is from a friend, they didn’t have to invite us. Therefore I think you should make every effort to attend
3) I love weddings and they are a chance to have a nice night out.
4) although this is a destination wedding to us, it’s the grooms home city where all his large family live. They have chosen to marry there as it means the least amount of people have to travel (it’s just us from the UK and the brides immediate family)
5) weddings like this as a great chance to go to a country we prob wouldn’t make it to on our own and to see part of the real culture.
I don’t expect my parents to come – I’ve asked them but they are under no obligation to come with (and I know my family dynamic on this one – they can and will say no if they don’t want to come) my in laws would jump at the trip so that all depends on whether the dog is with us.
i think I’m going to work on hubby about leaving our eldest here. I agree he is too young to understand that he has missed out on something. The weekend before is our wedding anniversary and his half birthday and likely his siblings christening so it’s not like he will not have any fun events near by.
I hadn’t thought about bringing both kids and hubby look after them while I go alone. We did this in June when we were invited to a kid free wedding and couldn’t sort childcare. That wedding I knew a enough of the other guests to have people to talk to, this one I really only know the bride and groom and while I think most of the younger guests will speak English I doubt the older ones will.
As for the local baby sitter I’m just assuming they don’t speak English – they could very well speak it enough to put a baby to bed.
Post # 30
MissCtoMrsR : I’ve spoken to her about it and there are a few reasons at play here which I totally get. Weddings in this culture go on all night – the bride has to change her dress at midnight for example. This means there are never children at these weddings. It’s very much the norm. Also the other couple who will have the three month old have already said about their plans etc and I think she feels (quite rightly) that it needs to be one rule for everyone.
i honestly have no issue with her wanting a kid free wedding. Her wedding her choice