(Closed) WWYD? Dropping out of a wedding, bride wants the bridesmaid dress given to her

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

How’d it go? You’re getting married soon right?

Post # 63
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree that it would be crazy to just give it to someone else for free (if there was a free option, it sounds like you wouldn’t have dropped out!)

I would consider cutting her a deal, just because no matter where you try to sell it, you’ll likely have to take substantially less than you paid originally (but free? heck no!)

Can you text or email her to explain that it really isn’t fair for you to cover the cost of someone else’s dress, but that you’d be happy to sell it for X amount less than it was new? I’m thinking a text or email is less likely to get so dramatic/emotional as the phone call sounds. Maybe look around the classifieds or some pre-owned dress sites to be able to show her what a fair price would be? 

Unless of course you want to keep the dress. Then it’s yours to keep – no doubt about that.

And I second the poster above who said to get the cash in hand before handing over your dress.

Post # 64
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with the rest o fthe PP who continue to say it’s you dress. I do believe she should buy it from you BUT I also believe you should consider selling the dress to her at a discount. Afterall, if you sell the dress on CL or some other wedding site, you will not be able to recoup the entire amount. Whether you’ve actually worn the dress or not, it’s no longer considered new. Maybe think about taking at least $50-100 dollars off the original asking price. This would be an offer of goodwill and would show her that there are no hard feelings. If she still asked you to give it to her for free then I would totally drop this friend because I would feel that she was being completely unreasonable. If you decide not to sell it to her at a discount, but choose to sell it somewhere else instead, I might think that you really don’t care to have her as a friend anyway and if that’s the case then none of this matters to begin with lol.

Post # 65
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Ok I’m being not nice right now…But tell her to kiss it and have a nice life!  She has NO right demanding you to give the dress back.  YOU (scratch that) YOUR MOM paid for that dress!  You don’t owe her a dime.  I’ve been in enough weddings to know this part.  When you accept you agree to pay for things in that lead up to the wedding, including the dress, shoes, jewerly hair, bridal shower, etc.  When you forgo being in the wedding party (I haven’t been thru this), but what you have already paid for with your money is YOUR’s NOT her’s!  She needs to get over it, move on and let go as do you. 

If there isn’t time to get a dress then fine, but that person whom accepted the duties needs to realize what it means to be a bridesmaid and the bride too, that you want your money back.  That’s so not fair to you.  Stick your ground and Keep your dress!!


PS…you feel bad about loosing a friendship, but may I say it’s not a TRUE friendship if she has treated you like this and you don’t feel comfortable being around her or anyone from the wedding party.  Glad ur keeping it! 

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