WWYD – Friendsgiving Invite Drama

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

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misstomorris :  on that notion alone you should decline.. why waste a perfectly nice weekend evening witnessing this.. life is short and time is too precious to be wasted on crap like that

Say no and enjoy a nice holiday dinner with your husband before family comes

 

Post # 17
Member
4873 posts
Honey bee

So what are the odds that Karen and boy scout dad are sleeping with each other and acting uncomfortable is just for show to lower suspicion or he is her dealer?

I mean, I get that some people are either so non-confrontational or so desperate for friends that they’ll tolerate atrocious behavior and be cordial at required events like a boy scout banquet if their kids are in the same troop.  But they generally don’t brush off their behavior entirely and invite people who allegedly make them so uncomfortable along with their spouses who openly despise them to a dinner party in their own home at an event with “friend” baked right into the title.

It isn’t here nor there to your post – just respectfully decline and be done with it.  But PPs are right in that you’re known for the company you keep and she openly accepts and sees no issue with keeping their company, so now is probably a good time to really reassess keeping her company.  It’s not that we have to like everything about our friends and approve of everything they do – but there is always a tipping point.

Post # 19
Member
6941 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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misstomorris :  I was actually wondering if Karen isn’t having an affair with the Boy Scout Dad? Like all her complaints about him sending these messages but she’s not actually going to block him or do anything about it? Someone doth protest too much. 

Post # 20
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

Yikes, sounds like a real sh!tshow.  Honestly I would just decline and wish them a good time – lots of great examples written out in previous comments.  I would distance myself going forward.  I guess if Karen pressed me for a reason I may be honest about the whole thing.

Post # 21
Member
6941 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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annabananabee :  “So what are the odds that Karen and boy scout dad are sleeping with each other and acting uncomfortable is just for show to lower suspicion”

Agreed. Yup. My mind totally went there too. 

Post # 23
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

If you think being honest will only lead to her saying “don’t worry about so-and-so” and her pushing you to come then just make an excuse… “sorry I can’t make it! I forgot we are going to my husband’s aunt’s. But lets do dinner together soon!”

Post # 24
Member
7269 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

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misstomorris :  you have already told her that you don’t like the creeper. Not attending her event reinforces the fact that you weren’t playing and you meant what you said. It actually models for her what you have said *she* should do, herself.

I would send her a message and say “It sounds like there are going to be some great people at your event. Unfortunately, since [the creeper] and his hostile marital dynamic have been included in the invite, we won’t be able to make it. We prefer not to spend any time in his company or vicinity. Let’s catch up together another time, just the two of us!”

It’s on her if she chooses to have no boundaries (or full on relationships) with shitty people. That doesn’t mean you avoid making her uncomfortable by pointing out that your own boundaries mean that you will not politely interact with those same shitty people. You meant what you said. This is what that looks like.

Post # 26
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 My first thought is that Karen likes the attention. As to whether she’s sleeping with him or not I don’t know, but she has to like it on some level not to shut it down.

Don’t go, don’t give an excuse unless you feel compelled to. Then probably stop the friendship completely, because at the worst she’s allowing his disgusting behavior to continue.

Post # 27
Member
7542 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m of the camp to just stay out of the drama. “Sorry friend, I didn’t realed DH has tickets for us to {insert activity} that day and we won’t be able to make Friendsgiving this year.”

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