(Closed) WWYD: inappropriate message from student's parent 🙈

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 17
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would most definitely be telling my principal so he/she is aware of what happened and that your coworker was not fostering an inappropriate relationship with a parent. I always like to CYA with parents. And also then the principal would be aware should this parent be contacting other teachers inappropriately as well. But mostly I would not be using my personal cell phone (I’m assuming it is not a school provided phone) to call and text parents. From this point forward all contact should be through school email and the school phone, and really for me that applies to any parent. I never text parents in order to keep relationships professional and have everything documented but I’m aware some schools and teachers are more informal. Even if you choose not to take that approach with others I would definitely be taking it with this parent. 

ETA: I also don’t think you can just excuse yourself (your coworker) from contacting the parent. You can definitely request admin to be present or CC them on any contact so there’s a ‘witness’ but as the child’s teacher you still need to have a relationship with the parent and make them aware of behavior or whatever you would contact any other parent for. 

Post # 20
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I would tell my supervisor, that’s highly inappropriate and it is sexual harassment. Accident or not it’s not okay and you guys don’t want to be thrown under the bus later if something becomes of this situation. 

Ugh….what is wrong with that guy? 

Post # 21
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I would report it for documentation at least. If he has never done something like this before and it really was an accident, no harm done. If by chance other inappropriate things have been reported with him, it will pave the way for further actions against him. I would turn the video over to the proper people and remove it from my phone.

I personally find it very odd that he didn’t apologize until hours later which makes me think he sent it to her on purpose and only apologized to cover his own ass. 

Post # 23
1128 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with PP who said report it as a CYA measure.  Who knows how that story might get passed along (I have no idea either-somebody going through his phone? Idk).  I’d also report it simply because it’s creepy AF and I think some people genuinely assume that if they just “put it out there” for a woman she will comply.  


Genuinely curious.  Why would somebody do that to assert dominance?  Doesn’t it kind of instantly put him in a bad position because it makes him look gross (not to mention the legitimate consequences of harassment)??

Post # 24
749 posts
Busy bee

Erm… Gross. Absolutely report it. No need to tell him. 

Also, your school need to be providing cell phones if they expect you to text. It’d be a sackable offence in mine to give out our numbers. God, the safeguarding rules that breaches! 

Post # 25
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

Absolutely needs to be reported 

Post # 26
13589 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Report it.  This is beyond inappropriate. 

Post # 27
497 posts
Helper bee

In California you are required to  report this to Child Protective Services within 36 hours, do this now.  Again, REPORT THIS NOW. Even though it is the parent, the child may be in danger.

Post # 28
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Just chiming in to say I really don’t think it was an accident. I think most normal people, if they were to send a video like that, would quadruple check who they had typed into the “send” field.

Post # 29
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

somathemagical :  Sorry, but WHY are you texting any parent? All communication should be via email or the school’s phone. That said, if it’s known he’s hit on other teachers, I would absolutely let a principal know about the situation. 

Post # 30
3092 posts
Sugar bee

I would report it as a way to protect myself (even if it was an accident). What if in the future, there is an issue that goes back to this incident and his phone is checked and the video is found that it was sent to her?

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