(Closed) WWYD – inviting these 2 coworkers?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I invite these two coworkers?
    Yes, invite them. : (2 votes)
    33 %
    No, don't invite them. : (3 votes)
    50 %
    Other - comment below : (1 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 4
    1696 posts
    Bumble bee

    This is why traditional etiquette mandates that one should keep a prudent separation between one’s work-life, and one’s social-life.

    When a social event becomes a de-facto office event, as happened when you sent save-the-date cards to ALL your co-workers, then your choices in respect of that office event have consequences at work. In this case you are faced with the choice of treating two co-workers like the second-class employees that you see them to be — and that they will see themselves as, when they realize that they alone are being deliberately excluded. If they are not already write-offs as employees go, the alienation might make them write-offs.

    For all that your concerns about their transience are real, and that wanting no awkwardness at your wedding is a legitimate social consideration; the problem with entangling work and social life is that your legitimate social considerations cannot be taken on their own. They cannot even be “balanced” with work considerations. Your employer’s legitimate concern is that your actions NOT negatively impact your workplace — that is, your employer’s concern is not for “balance”, but for inviolacy. That is their responsibility to their shareholders/owners/the public; and that is your professional responsibility to them. A big risk to your employer is that if it does prove necessary to dismiss “Sarah”, then she may be able to build an unfair dismissal lawsuit on the evidence that her non-invitation that you singled her out for isolation from the rest of the team and never gave her the chance to succeed. It won’t matter whether that is true or false, if she can present it to the court beyond the balance of doubt.

    So, what can you do? I’m afraid you’ve already done it. You made your wedding into an office event. So follow through and invite these other two office workers. But at the same time, begin extricating your social life from work and start building professional boundaries. Have work events, and manage them as a professional; have completely separate social events and manage them as a hospitable friend. But don’t mix up the two.

    Post # 5
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Fiance and I invited a lot of people from our work – we tried to keep it limited to people that we spent time with outside of work, knowing that other employees would understand. I’m sure the two newer ones would understand you not inviting them, especially if you don’t really work with them personally anymore.

    The topic ‘WWYD – inviting these 2 coworkers?’ is closed to new replies.

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