Post # 1
Hi, bees. Just looking for a bit of input, here. TBH, I’m not sure how I feel – and I don’t know that there is really anything that I can do about it – but I definitely felt embarrased in the moment when this happened yesterday.
I was speaking with two colleagues about funding a project. We have had a couple of change orders that needed to be made due to some field-fits, and the project ended up slightly over budget. We were discussing potential funding sources when my colleague said “Can I hock that diamond ring to pay for it?”
I was mortified!
By way of explanation, I work for a government agency, and my colleagues, for the most part, are fairly salt of the earth, small community folks. I’m definitely a bit more…exuberant…than most of them, particularly in my personality (east coast transplanted to the west coast). My ring is not small, but it’s not HUGE, either. It’s pretty much the only jewelry that I wear, other than a pendant and a very modest pair of earrings.
The gentleman that made the comment is an older man (60+), and more used to a small town, rural lifestyle, so maybe it’s just that. But his comment definitely made me feel as if I am ostentatious or something… And now I’m wondering if others think that, as well…
Post # 2
codysgirl16: When I saw the title of the thread I was expecting way worse. I don’t think he meant anything negative by it. I’m a firm believer in if a ring (or anything else that’s legal and whatnot) makes YOU happy, who cares what others think anyway??
Post # 3
If I was standing there, when he made that comment, I wouldn’t have thought anything about you, good or bad. I would’ve looked at your ring, because he was obviously drawing attention to it, & would’ve most likely thought “oh that’s pretty” and been onto the next thought. . .but that’s just me. I wouldn’t have thought you were ostentatious. I don’t know him, but by just reading your story, it almost sounds like a compliment. But again, I don’t know him or his personality. I wouldn’t think too much about it. But I do understand why you are. Sometimes the things people say make us feel a little uncomfortable & make us question ourselves.
Post # 4
codysgirl16: Just telling by his age, you probably shouldn’t worry about it. He didn’t mean anything by it, but noticed that you have a likely expensive ring. Has he said anything else to make you feel this way?
Post # 5
It sounds like a joke… It wasn’t meant to be cruel
Post # 6
Why do you care so much what other people think? There will always be someone to judge. And maybe it was just a bad joke…
Post # 7
I think he was kidding but you should have said something to respond like “that’s not very nice” or don’t let my husband hear you say that” and then laugh… I think he just said something and it missed it’s funny mark. I hope, if not who gives a shit. Rock that rock baby!
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2015 - City, State
Honestly I wouldn’t have thought much of it. It just sounds like it was a joke or something.
Maybe the reason it struck a nerve with you is because maybe you’ve previously thought your ring seems ostentatious and now your using that man’s comment to confirm it?
It was a little rude of him to even say that. But I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it and I certainly wouldn’t have felt embarrassed by it. I would’ve just retorted with something like PP suggested and that would’ve been it.
Post # 9
That’s not a big deal! Id just say “I don’t think so coworker!” and laughed it off. Don’t be embarrassed.
Post # 10
Sounds like a joke. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure there was nothing more to it than an off-hand attempt at humor.
Post # 11
Sounds like it was a joke, I don’t see any reason to be offended. I’m kind of confused…why on Earth would it make you self-conscious?
Post # 12
SeaOfLove: No, he hasn’t. But, as I said, I’m definitely cut from a different bolt than these folks. The department I was dealing with is mostly comprised of mid to late aged men who are very small town. I am a very independant, forward thinking woman (read: upstart)… I think I make them all a bit uncomfortable, even though I truly do try my best to modulate when I am working with them!
Peanut-Sue: thanks for understanding! I don’t think he meant to be mean – it’s just more that it seemed kind of unprofessional and caught me way off guard!
RedHeadKel: I love it. Two of the diamonds were my mom’s and we bought the third to make it a three stone. It sparkles like crazy. It’s funny the whole “caring what others think” deal – sometimes I’m all about I am who I am, and sometimes… Well, yesterday I had a REALLY self conscious moment!!
MstoMrsH: I like the don’t let my husband hear you say that! I was so caught off guard that I think I mumbled something along the lines of “well, that’s not an option…”
GirlyGirl24: I don’t think it’s ostentatious, in and of itself, and out in the big bad world… In my work setting, maybe a bit, by comparison.
Post # 13
It’s a joke! He’s not going to understand what kind of emotions it would cause with his statement but I wouldn’t think twice about it other than laughing. Just shake it off =)
Post # 14
Depends on how much money they were looking for and how much my ring was actually worth I probably would have come up with some smart ass remark about it not being enough or saying sure, and laughing it off. Seems like a silly thing to get worked up over or feel self conscious about though.
Post # 15
Um…is this not more of a compliment??