(Closed) WWYD? Offhanded coworker comment about ring, feeling self-conscious : (

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

Eh, I don’t agree with the other commenters. You were talking about professional matters, not your jewelry or your wedding. It was rude at best and out of line at worst. I’d feel like he was trying to undermine what I was saying by giving a smart ass remark.

At the same time, this is a pick your battles scenario. So now you know he can be this way. You can steer clear of him or even anticipate his behavior. Isn’t it great when people show you their true colors?

Enjoy your ring! People are gonna think what they’re gonna think whether it was big, small, diamond or not. Hopefully they at least will have the manners or kindness to keep it a personal thought, rather than bringing it up when it didn’t concern anyone in the room!

Post # 17
Member
6442 posts
Bee Keeper

codysgirl16:  maybe he meant that your ring looks so nice it must be very expensive?  I wouldn’t take it as mean to be hurtful.

Post # 18
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

i have worked at a job that i think might have been similar to your current job, and i know the type that works there. i also know what it’s like to be the girl in the group of guys (especially older, some of them engineers and others roughnecks). honestly, if that’s all they said to you then you are in luck! he was just making a joke. instead of being self conscious about your ring, i would learn how to joke back at them. if they think you can’t take a joke, it’ll go a lot worse. besides, in my experience, it’s when they never joke with you that you should be worried.

Post # 19
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

codysgirl16:  It’s hard to know based on what his tone was–if it was a joke or if it was kind of snide. I’m guessing it might have been snide/snarky based on your feelings. You could have said, “No, sorry, the diamonds are my mother’s,” maybe? That would probably have put him in his place. However, it’s probably too late to bring it up now, so try not to let it bother you. I get what you’re saying though–you don’t want people to think you’re extravagant or too materialistic… but really, you have every reason to be proud of your ring.

Post # 21
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

codysgirl16:  I must be really oversensitive then because I would not have found that amusing at all! I would have been thinking, “Oh great, they must think I’m the complete opposite of them. Do they think I’m rich/entitled/privileged, (even if it isn’t true!)” I agree with PPs it was probably meant to be a joke, but it was unprofessional. Sheesh. I’m sorry that happened.

Post # 22
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

codysgirl16:  I think his comment was harmless but it bothers you because you already feel self conscious about being “different” from your coworkers. I actually didn’t get any implication from the comment that he thought your diamond was huge or ostentatious. You said he’s over 60+ so he’s from an older generation, maybe .5 carats would be considered valuable enough to “hock”. I’d brush it off and wear your ring proudly, who cares what other people think? Your ring is more than just 3 diamonds, it has meaning. 🙂

Post # 23
Member
987 posts
Busy bee

I dont get why youre feeling anyway at all… I found nothing wrong with his comment. 

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