(Closed) WWYD: Same-Sex Marriage Discrimination

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What would you do if you overheard your venue turning a same-sex couple away??
    Immediately speak up and possibly walk away from the venue completely, despite the deposit. : (83 votes)
    24 %
    Immediately speak up, but not walk completely away from the venue (possibly because of the deposit). : (121 votes)
    35 %
    Say something to a manager, but not publicly for anyone else to here. : (42 votes)
    12 %
    Maybe say something to your friends in irritation, but not speak to anyone at the venue. : (35 votes)
    10 %
    Not say anything; just let it go. : (26 votes)
    8 %
    Be glad that they turned them away; I share that belief. : (26 votes)
    8 %
    Other (explain below) : (10 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    3765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I would talk to the manager, and probably write a review on google. Doubt I would turn away from the venue because I wouldn’t want to lose that money.

    Post # 4
    4284 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Do everything in my power to recover my deposit and find a open minded venue! This is 2013… people need to get with the program!

    Post # 5
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’d like to say I would walk away, but it realistically depends on how far into planning I was. The week before the wedding? Obviously not. But if it was early on the process yeah I think I would. 

    Post # 6
    4311 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Get my deposit back and find another venue.  And also complain to the manager.

    These people are not very business savvy.  People need to start putting their personal preferences aside and run their goddamn business and keep their mouth shut.

    Post # 7
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I votes to speak up, but not walk away. Only if i had already put the deposit down and if it was alot of money(few hundred I could loose, but if it was like 5000..i dont have the means to walk away from it and still have a wedding) . Discrimination in this day in age is just dumb. Id possibly take it higher than the manager if he didnt do anything, write a letter or demand to talk to the owner of the facility if it were possible. 

    Post # 8
    3885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would hold off any decision regarding my own wedding (although my preference would be to walk away even if that meant i would lose my deposit) and head right to whichever government agency handled licensing, equal access and discrimination.  The actual agency will be different in each city or state but I would absolutely involve the right authorities.  I would not go to the media directly without more substantial proof.

    The only reason I wouldn’t pull my own event immediately is because I would want to put the legal machine in motion first. I can cancel anytime if I’m willing to lose my deposit but I’d want someone in authority to investigate as soon as possible after the incident.

    Post # 9
    2874 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    i tried to imagine what id do if my venue felt that way,which i suppose is perfectly possible since Mexico isn’t particularly with the times in terms of same sex rights

    i might say something in a very non confrontational way (since i cant do confrontation or arguments AT all) but i dont think id walk away. my deposit was 5000 dollars and i cant afford to lose that

    i also dont think id write a review until after my own wedding. looking at what i wrote i sound pretty damn selfish dont i?

    edit – also it depends when it happened. i mean i only paid my final balance for my wedding today (26 days before wedding) though i know some couples pay iot much earlier. a year before the wedding its easier to walk away from than 3 weeks or so

    Post # 10
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I get disgusted by people who don’t treat same sex couple fairly. wtf is wrong with some people? 

    Since I would already put a deposit down, I would possibly turn to the media about this issue.

    Post # 11
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I refused to get married in several churches because of their stance on gays. There are venues where this happens. As much as I love to stand on principle if I payed a deposit and I couldn’t afford to change venues I would voice my opinions. I also think it’s stupid. I wouldn’t support organizations who I felt were discriminatory.


    Post # 12
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    It depends what venue it is. Is it a religious venue for a religious service (ie, a church to which you have paid a very generous donation)? If so, I would sympathise with the other couple, but not walk away… very difficult to balance religious/LGBT rights in some circumstances, I think (just my opinion… I know that others will disagree).

    If it was not a religious venue, and I had my own way, I would be tempted to tell them to **** themselves and keep my deposit… I’ll go elsewhere.

    On the other hand, if Fiance had his say, he would say that the business of other couples is none of our business, and that we are very short of money, so we should do nothing…. or, at the most, that we should complain anonymously to the council or other civil body, but not say anything to the venue.

    … so I can’t vote. I’m torn between idealism on the one hand, and reality on the other. I would love to vote ” Immediately speak up and possibly walk away from the venue completely, despite the deposit.”, but I cannot honestly say that I would do it.

    Post # 13
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    @TwoCityBride:  Wow… you mean that you can CHOOSE which church to get married in in the US? How does that work then? The UK has some quite strict legal requirements limiting religious marriage which would prevent that.

    Post # 14
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Same sex marriage is a big deal to me.  I am a woman marrying a man, but my best friend/groomsman is married to the man who will be our officiant.  If my venue ever did or said anything to make them feel uncomfortable, I would be out of there so fast.  They are family.

    My venue was one of the first venues to host a lesbian marriage in CT.  That was one of the many reasons why we picked it. 

    Post # 15
    1024 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would speak up. However, because a $3,000 deposit is a lot of money to me, I probably wouldn’t try to find a different venue.

    I would try to raise awareness about what happened, and let my thoughts out on Yelp or something

    The topic ‘WWYD: Same-Sex Marriage Discrimination’ is closed to new replies.

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