(Closed) WWYD – Thank You for bounced check?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@milesbella: Did she also send a card with the check?

Maybe just write a thank you for the thoughtful card and don’t mention the check?

Post # 4
4822 posts
Honey bee

Yes, it was the though that counts and I think you should give her benefit of the doubt that she didnt really think it would bounce.  I would thank her for her congratulations (assuming the check came in the mail) but not for the check/money. I am sure she knows it bounced.

Post # 5
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

She may be silent due to embarrassment. I’m not sure what you “should” do, but if it was me, I think I would just write a “thank you so much for thinking of us” note and leave it at that.

Post # 6
5517 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

@milesbella: I would still thank her, its the thought that counts right? You never know, maybe she could have been writing the check from a closed account… or something to that effect. 

Post # 8
3942 posts
Honey bee

She is probably extremely embarassed that it happened. And if she had a check bounce for $25, then that probably explains why she couldnt attend the wedding either. Send her a thnak you note anyways

Post # 9
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

She’s probably MORTIFIED.  Just say thank you and don’t mention it.  If you just say “oh thanks for the card” or mention the check, it’s like rubbing salt in her wound.  This is a case where it’s the thought that counts (and she thought she was giving you money).  IMO, you need to show her some mercy and let it go.

Post # 10
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
@milesbella: Yes, immediately contacting you and apologizing, explaining, and replacing the check would have been nice. However, maybe she’s just hoping you’ll either not notice or is just too embarrassed to mention it. Also, I was under the impression that if it “bounced,” it would still go through, but the bank would “cover it” and you would have a negative balance and be charged for the bank fees? Maybe that’s just my bank…  but maybe she thinks the same thing too, that it bounced on her end but you still got the money.

Also, she probably did have the money at the time, but something could have happened and she had to pay for an unexpected cost, or it was close to payday and they were hoping they’d have the money by the time you cashed it. I would just give her the benefit of the doubt! Thank her for both!

Post # 11
6511 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with PP  – say thank you for the wishes, not the card itself.  There are so many reasons her check might have bounced, and I’m almost positive she didn’t send it to you to bounce on purpose.  If I were you, I’d yell at my bank for charging me $5 for someone else’s bounced check though!  That is ridiculous!

Post # 12
3322 posts
Sugar bee

Thank her for the sentiment, and tell her you were sorry she couldn’t come to the wedding.



Post # 13
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LoveMySailor1018 I thought the same thing, I guess not all banks work the same.


@milesbella I agree with everyone, send a card thanking her for her thoughtful card and warm wishes.  Poor woman!

Post # 14
1363 posts
Bumble bee

Thank them, it was the thought that counts and clearly they were trying to give you more money than they can realistically afford which means they deserve a really big thank you, even if the money never got to you. Don’t mention it. Just thank them for sending a cheque.

Post # 15
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’d send a “thank you for thinking of us” message and leave it at that.

Sometimes people try to over extend themselves knowing they can’t afford it, and that’s just no fun.

Post # 16
2904 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
@lefeymw:This. You ALWAYS write a thank you letter.

Example: you get this dumb glass paperweight for the two of you and your life together and think–we have no paper files, we’ve gone totally digital–this is getting returned! You still say thank you for the paperweight. 😉


I disagree with the PPs and think you should thank her for the check. That’s the part of the gift that got “returned” so to speak, but it’s what she wanted to give you.

I think writing a thank you for a card and not mentioning the check is awkward.

I agree with the PPs that you should say you missed her at the wedding.

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