(Closed) WWYD? Vent!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I absolutely would not go to the party, but RSVP no with no explanation. She doesn’t deserve one.

Post # 4
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

I’d be hurt as well, but ultimately the b-day party is about the child, not the parents.  Be the bigger person here and attend the b-day party, even if you just show up with crayons and coloring books. 

I’m sorry you are dealing with this.

Post # 5
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I say go, but don’t offer to bring food, and show up with a small token gift for the kids, don’t go nuts, and leave early if you feel uncomfortable.

You can be the bigger person, hold your head high and show her the real way you should treat people!

Post # 6
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Hey there! I have a girlfriend from college who does the exact same thing.  My friend and I were in her wedding, attended the showers and other parties and bought gifts, dress, etc.  At the Rehearsal Dinner we didn’t get a thank you gift like everyone else did and then the thank you card was a generic thank you.  Fast forward a few years and she had her 30th bday party.  We both went and took gifts and paid to get in the club.  Then it was our turn to have our 30th bday parties.  She didn’t come to either one, never called, sent a gift, nothing.  Then I performed in a broadway musical a big deal for me.  I told her how important it was that my family and friends attend at least one performance or come to a dress rehearsal.  She never showed and avoided my emails, texts and phone calls.

The straw that did it for me was she called asking if my friend and I would throw her a baby shower.  I politely said I couldn’t because I have other commitments.  I didn’t go to her shower or send a gift. 

Now my girlfriend and I are getting married.  We are both in each other’s weddings.  We have both decided that we are not inviting our friend to our events.  It is hard to know that we are losing a close friend.  But at the same time what kind of friend only takes and never gives!? 

You need to just move on and not worry with her any more.  Invite her to the wedding events and if she shows she does.  I wouldn’t go to her events any more.   Friendship is a two-way street.

Post # 7
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Go, bring a small gift, be as sweet as can be… but lower your expectations as to what you’ll get out of this friendship.

I think it is hard, but good to be the bigger person, especially since it sounds like the group dynamics are intricate.  By The Way, don’t mention your issues to anyone else in the group.  Keep it to you and fiance, otherwise she’ll surely hear about it!

Sorry it became so awkward…

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