(Closed) WWYD? Weird Situation… (NWR)

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree if you’re going to a dinner you bring something with you.  Usually that’s a bottle of wine or something along those lines.  If there will be wine drinking that evening you’d best be bringing a bottle of your own unless you’re told not to. 

I also agree that they should have offered to bring salad or an appy if they couldn’t afford to bring something like wine.  At least then they would be bringing something and not coming empty handed…

I understand that they may be broke, but then maybe at least buy a $10 bottle of wine or don’t offer at all.  They’re getting a free meal for crying out loud!

EDIT – I just want to add that I don’t think as a host you expect that they SHOULD, more that if you’re a guest you expect that you should.  I actually wouldn’t care if someone came w/o something, but as a guest I would always bring something…I would feel inappropriate/awkward showing up and drinking a bottle of wine between me and my SO during the evening and not bringing anything myself. I just find it really odd that you would ask if you’re not prepared to bring.

Post # 4
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

…hmm..that was strange. I agree they should’ve just offered to bring a salad or something else not as expensive as a bottle of wine.. but your comment  “I can appreciate if money is tight for them, but keep in mind we are feeding them a full dinner, which will cost us more than a bottle of wine” is also kinda strange to me…

Whatever happened to inviting people over to dinner just because you want their company? I would never expect someone to come over and bring something worth the cost of what I’m feeding them…

Post # 5
Member
1650 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

@Catherine: This is a shot in the dark, but your H’s friend may have asked what they could bring to be polite, and assumed that your H was just going to reply “No need to bring anything at all, just come over and hang with us.”  Not saying this was right or wrong of him, it just sounds like maybe that’s what was going on.  Or maybe he really did just mean to ask if they could help out by bringing a dish.

It does sound odd, since the price of wine varies so much you can buy a decent bottle for the same it would cost to make a salad – but I think maybe some people are embarrassed to bring a $4 bottle from Trader Joes and figure its not worth bringing wine unless you can get a “good” bottle for upwards of $15.  This is all just speculation, though.

Post # 6
Member
801 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Maybe they’re pregnant?

mostly kidding. You’re right it’s a bit odd, but I’m sure they didn’t mean any harm in it.

Post # 7
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Hmm… I guess my friends and I are just not as strict on dinner planning etiquette! LOL

In all honesty, if I invite people over for dinner, I cover every detail. I wouldn’t invite them if I wasn’t prepared to create a complete meal (drinks included)!

If anyone I invite ever asks if they can bring anything with them, I simply tell them that it’s not necessary but anything they feel they would like to contribute would be fine. I also let them know in advance what I will be cooking and have for the drinks and suggest that if there is any other preference to let me know ASAP.

Post # 8
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think its a little odd especially since there are plenty of good wines for $10, and even a prepped nice salad could easily cost more than that!  If they wanted to bring salad they should’ve just offered that instead of asking!  But I wouldnt think too much about it.  Maybe they had some stuff to make a nice salad with that they wanted to use and bring and not spend anymore right now.

Post # 9
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

“NO. No, you CAN’T bring a salad!”

 

ROFL!!!

 

The way I make a salad, it would cost more than a bottle of wine.Wink

 

 

Post # 10
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

ehh I wouldn’t care. I always have a stash of wine I wouldn’t mine sharing. I hate to cook and yes that includes making a salad. I would rather take the 5 seconds to pop open a bottle of wine than take the 5+ minutes it takes to make a salad. Enjoy not having to make one more thing.

I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, just enjoy the dinner. Plus, I’m sure his wife wasn’t happy to hear that he said that, so I def would let it go!

Post # 11
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@SandyDollHair: Totally agree. When I make a salad it costs doube the price of a bottle of wine!

Post # 12
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

my salad would also cost the same as a bottle of wine, but I’m going to assume here that their version may not LOL

I forgot to add for the OP that you should still get the wine for tonight, and just completely pretend the convo didn’t happen and have a good time. Smile

Post # 13
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Possibly they were raised in a non-wine getting family so that bit of etiquett is lost on them.  And unless their idea of a salad is chopped head of lettuce a good salad can cost as much as a bottle of mid range wine.  So the we don’t have money for wine seems a bit odd.

Post # 14
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you’re taking it a bit personally, but my perception might be a bit warped because growing up my dad never ever let someone bring something if we were having them over for dinner. He always said that part of being a good host was making sure your guests always left full, haha, and that only a thank you is necessary.

But you say you’re asking for advice…I don’t understand, what kind of advice do you want? Are you going to uninvite your friends over a bottle of wine or bring it up later and make them feel uncomfortable over something so small? I’d ignore it. I’d also like to add that as a non-wine drinker I’ve always assumed wine is very expensive, I never knew you could get wine for like $10 like others are saying, they may be the same way.

Post # 16
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MissCallieJean:  I guess you don’t have access to two buck chuck wine. 

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