(Closed) WWYD: Your daughter gets pregnant at 11?? (Dr. Phil)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 122
Member
45 posts
Newbee

I haven’t gone through the three pages but 5 year old Lina Medina became pregnant and had (via C-section) a son. She lived to be 80, her son 40.

Post # 123
Member
1228 posts
Bumble bee

Well…… thanks for the nightmares that I will now be having tonight….. this is so scary!!!!!!

Post # 125
Member
683 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My heart breaks for that whole family, what a tragedy for such a stupid yet simple mistake, this is why sex isn’t just sex and shouldn’t be treated like it’s nothing with anyone, we set the examples. And don’t get me started on the examples the girls in the media portray.

Either way though, if it was my daughter I would take her and we would go to therapy together and try and decide the best way to handle the situation, the best chance for my daughter and the baby in her.

I don’t think it’s as simple as “abort” or “adoption” or “carry” it depends on the person. Abortion could ruin someones life, if I’d had an abortion at 11 years old I’d have probably committed suicide years ago, some women don’t feel as strongly as I do though so it really depends.

Post # 126
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

Not a parent, but my plan is to educate early. If a pregnancy still happens that early, then abortion time, absolutely. The health of my existing kid trumps any lump of cells growing unintentionally inside her. Maybe once her body *might* be developed enough to safely carry it to term (15-16 or so) we can have a discussion on what she wants to do, but at 11 it’ll be my job to make the informed decision with the guidance of medical professionals.

Post # 127
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I might have a little different perspective because I have an 11 year old daughter, and was a teen mom myself.I got pregnant at 16, delivered at 17. Graduated high shcool and went on the become a nurse. It was so much work but some how we got through it.

 

 My daughter and I have  very open dialouge about puberty/sex. In my house there wasn’t and I hid the fact that I was sexually active (instead of at least being mature enough to go on birth control-big sign you are not mature enough to be having sex). I do plan to handling things much more differently as she gets older, I do not want the my child to be a teen mom (statistically she is at higher risk because I was a teen mom).

 

Back to the question at hand. I would take my daughter and have her put under, then terminate the pregnancy. She wouldn’t have to be awake of the procedure, but she would not be carying a baby. We individually and as a family would then be extensive counceling.

 

 

 

Post # 128
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If my 11 year old became pregnant. She would definitely be having an abortion, and after the abortion she would probably be grounded for what ever period of time that I see fit.  I don’t really understand this “she shouldn’t be punished” sentiment expressed on this board.  I fully believe that at 11 years old she would more than likely know exactly what she’s doing.  At 11 I knew about sex, where babies came from, about Save-The-Date Cards, and what was sexually inappropriate behavior for my age.  If I chose to have sex at that age, then it would have been with a pretty decent understanding of my actions. If my mother caught me having sex at 11, whether it was from her walking in on it or finding out that I became pregnant, there would have been a punishment or some sort.  

That said, I don’t believe that anyone should be having sex at 11, but I also think its ridiculous to place all of the blame on her parents, society, & a 13 year old boy.  Sure all of these people may have some amount of responsibility, but so does this young girl.  And if she were my daughter, she wouldn’t be treated like a blameless victim.  She would get the abortion, because I think that is the choice that would be best for her health & our family.  But she would also see some other consequences.  She will be grounded and she will have to regain my trust. No movies, no hanging out with friends, no football games, and no talking to boys, until she I feel like she’s trustworthy again.

Post # 129
Member
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

wow. i think i would kill my daughter.

 jk by the way…. but grounded for life, counsiling, and abort the pregnancy.

Post # 130
Member
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

give the baby up for adoption, or potentially abort

i wouldn’t actually let her keep the baby, but i wouldn’t just force an abortion. it’s really a tough situation.

Post # 131
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

First, I would castrate the guy who knocked her up and then shove his jewels down his throat…

Then I don’t know what I would do.

Post # 132
Member
634 posts
Busy bee

The situation doesn’t apply well to me, as I wouldn’t delay sexual education of my child. The think about education, is it’s something you need to receive before you ever need it. Otherwise it’s experience. However, it’s unfair to blame the parents for wishfully thinking they had more time, and it’s wrong to blame the child who didn’t have a good grasp of the rammifications of her behavior. 

What I would do, is have my child put under, lie right to her face about it being a normal proceedure, have her pregnancy terminated, carry on like nothing has occured, and on her next follow up proceedure, give her the news that she has miscarried, and get her into therapy. I would carry the secret to my goddamn grave. The moral and emotional rammifications of that choice would be on me, the parent, and not on my child. My child would only need to feel that her young body just wasn’t ready, and that miscarraige is a common tragedy.

Post # 133
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsWBS:  

@lolot:  

 

i have trouble believing that TWO of her friends had babies at 11 (so probably got pregnant at 10) and are now well adjusted adults

Post # 134
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

it disgusts me to no end to read “She should learn and not think that she can do it again and just get an abortion”

 

having sex at 11 and being pregnant at 11 and having an abortion at 11 are TRAUMATIZING ENOUGH, NO GIRL WOULD LIKE TO REPEAT THE EXPERIENCE.

Post # 135
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@SincerelyShe:  whether she knows what she’s doing or not it’s not a matter of opinion. she doesn’t. an 11 year old brain is not fully developed.

Post # 136
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My opinion is that she would have an abortion and I would consider myself to be a failure as a parent if this happened. The girl shouldn’t be punished, the parents should be. 11 is too young to even be allowed in a situation where that could happen.

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