Post # 1
What would you do?!
I have a matron of honor that has been a pain since the day after I got engaged. I asked her to be my Matron of Honor, I was her Maid of Honor in 07. She was stoked, I was stoked. I gave her her Matron of Honor blingy top and mind you she’s like a size 2 or 4, she said the Small was too small, so I did the return because she requested a Large? So she eventually tells me they are going to start trying for Baby #2….Hmmm…I sense a future problem…my engagement party November 5th, she text my mom the time the party is supposed to start, she lives 45min away, saying she was on her way with her parents since her car broke down?, she shows up 2.5 hrs later and then tells me she has to leave in 30min?…Hmmm…I’m sensing more trouble in the future….
We book our venue and date after some changes had to be made….December 18th 2011! YAY! The day before my Maid of Honor (yes I have both a Matron and maid of Honor) and I decided to take a trip to LA Fashion District and try on some dresses to see what we liked and didnt like, especially with her being a plus size girl, it made most sense to me to find a dress that would be most flattering on her, since my other girls were smaller! We found one! Its perfect for a FALL/WINTER wedding, its a pewter color, the material is great and the price is great! So I email my girls a few days later, November 23rd, after booking our venue for December so now knowing we have a Christmas wedding to plan, and pewter is PERFECT, letting them know we “possibly” found the dress! Well everyone says they can go and how excited they are! AWESOME!
My Matron of Honor emails me yesterday ALL these reasons she cant afford to buy the dress right now, (mind you its a discounted dress for less than $100) how she doesn’t think its sensible for her to buy the dress right now while she is trying to get pregnant, and telling me what she was going to do if I went with a dress from Davids Bridal or Alfred Angelo, even though we never even found anything there!?!?
Ladies…do you think she is just trying to be difficult? or trying to work with me here? I feel like she’s being selfish, or am I?! I understand my wedding is a year away and I understand things can change and how complications of possibly be pregnant for a wedding, but you AREN’T yet and its a big WHAT IF!, and I feel like she’s just running with that?!
At this point I am ready to say “You have your own plans for 2011 so why dont we just make it easy and have you just come as a guest?!” But in a nicer way of course!?!?
What Would You Do!?!
Post # 3
Honestly, I would take a step back and just focus on being friends with her for a while. Trying to conceive is a huge life event, just like getting married is. As far as the dresses, I personally wouldn’t buy anything if you have more than a year to your wedding. It’s a real possibility that you will change your mind on what you want between now and then (i.e. find something even more perfect!).
As far as “you have your own plan for 2011…” of course she does! Would you really want a friend who sat on their butt all day every day and had no goals in life!?! Your wedding is one day (no more, no less). Just try to keep that in perspective and it will make your decisions easier.
Post # 4
@Eva, I totally know about Trying To Conceive, we actually were before we got engaged! Actually for two years! So I know how it can be important and hard…but she’s more importantly my cousin! I just thought I’d get half of what I felt ALL that I did for her and her wedding!
I hate to sound like I have a tantrum!
Post # 5
My wedding is in October 2011, and I have been trying to find fall color dresses off the rack and on sale NOW. But, all my girls have asked me to wait until closer to the time, because they are all worried about their weight fluctuating (and none are TTC). I think sometimes us brides try to do the right thing by finding a great dress for less, but sometimes it’s easier just to wait. Might be what you have to do in your case. Or, have the other girls order theirs now, and have her order hers later, or wear something different if that’s not an option. it’s a pain I know. I just want to take care of the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and have it all done.
Post # 6
So I finally wrote back and I swear an angel took over my body and I wrote this!
So first off I just want to say my bad, you had mentioned wanting to start trying for a 2nd baby and I understand the complications participating in a wedding would make for you. I actually plan to cancel the December 4th trip. I dont even want to waste any time looking at dresses right now until closer to our date for all my bridesmaids, mothers and flower girls. I am going to take the holidays off in terms of any wedding planning and just enjoy it.Dont worry about the dress situation, we’ll deal with whatever state you may be in when the time comes. If for any reason you dont think you can participate I wont be hurt, I just dont want to overload you, I do understand you have a family and different priorities now. Or if you dont want to be in a wedding 7/8/9 months pregnant, I understand! Just keep me up to date with you. Take Care! xoxo
Did I do good?!
Post # 7
Very good! I think that’s the right attitude, it’ll cause a lot less stress for you and your matron of honour! And it sounds very sensible too
Post # 8
THANK YOU! =] I am still kind of patting myself on the back! lol