(Closed) Yarmulkes at an interfiath wedding, how to say they are optional

posted 9 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think a sign would be the perfect way to let people know.  If it was me, I would be a bit more wordy than “Optional”.  Will most of your guests know why they are worn?  I might say something like, “In the Jewish faith it is a sign of respect to cover your head while in the presence of God.  If you are so inclined, please feel free to wear one.”

Please note that I’m not Jewish and so that should be edited so that it is correct.  🙂

Post # 4
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

caitlanc, that was exactly what I was going to say!  Great minds.

Especially if the wedding is interfaith, it’s a nice way to “share” traditions, beliefs, etc with people who may not be familiar.  Kind of like Mrs. Hot Cocoa did with her “Chewish” wedding . . . you might check her recaps, and see if anything helps.   

Post # 5
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

i think those ideas are totally fine, although FYI i’ve been to several weddings where yarmulkes are available and i assumed they were optional for men so i don’t think it’s a problem even if you don’t have a sign (although it would be a nice gesture in case anyone is confused).  kind of the way you assume in catholic weddings that while everyone is kneeling and/or reciting something that you don’t have to join in.

Post # 6
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

@lavenderpug: I would actually assume they were mandatory ;). I’m of the view that if you go to a wedding for a certain faith, you do what they do in that faith out of respect, so something to note that they are optional is important if they are in fact optional!

Caitlanc’s wording makes sense to me. It’s clear that they are optional that way and what the purpose of them *is* in the first place.

Post # 7
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We are saying, “The Kippah (yarmulke) is the traditional Jewish head covering.  Regardless of whether you are Jewish, you may wear one if you are comfortable doing so.”  My thought was that the male Jewish guests will already know what they are for.  However, nonJewish guests may question whether it is something like Communion (which nonmembers should not participate in) or something that is open to all.  Also, we are Reform/egalitarian, and wanted to make it clear that women were also welcome to wear kippot.  At the same time, kippot are not typically considered mandatory for anyone in a Reform service.

Post # 8
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011


I like caitlanc’s wording, you could print it out on one piece of cardstock and put in on top of the yarmulkes in a basket.  Here’s what my friend did at her interfaith wedding (she and her husband went for the casual-cheeky route in explaing them)  His family got a kick out them.


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