(Closed) Yay! “The talk” went relatively well.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Wow, he really analyzed the whole ring issue.


Post # 5
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

So he told you he could spend up to $20,000 on a ring but doesn’t see the point in buying the ring? That sounds like running from one crazy extreme to the next. Personally, even if we could afford it, there’s no way I’d want a $20,000, but certainly something nice and made of quality materials! 

Post # 6
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If someone pointed out the “cost per use” of every little luxury I wanted, that would drive me insane. I’m pretty savvy with money, but it just seems excessive. Sometimes I just want a cute but impractical bag, you know? I want my engagement ring to be nice and not feel guilty about it.

Post # 8
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Did you talk about the significance of getting married and what it means for your relationship? At the end of the day, while he may be a bit uncomfortable about things, you have told him it is important to  YOU that you have a symbol on your finger, that he asks your parents and that you dont need anything too fancy – just a gesture. I dont think you are asking too much. 

I get that he may not want to do what society says, but are you hung up on having a traditional engagement ring? There are some beautiful alternative ones out there. Perhaps he would be more comfortable with an artisan piece?

Post # 9
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

i was on my phone when i read this post, but for some reason couldnt reply, but i needed to get my thought out before i lose it so here i am on the laptop :p while your guy may be the type to analyze everything i cant help but feel like his response was cold. worrying about ease of use and price when he makes pretty good money? just seems off.

i would hate to have my guy griping about price and ease of use to me, it definitely wouldnt make me feel good. screw his hang ups, man up and get the ring. he can afford it.



Post # 11
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@futuremrste:  Aha! He’s an accountant! As I was reading your initial posts and comments I kept thinking, wow, with the cost per use thing, this guy sounds exactly like me! Then I read your last comment about him being an accountant, no wonder! I’m an accountant in training (graduating in May, wahoo), and I do that sort of thing with basically everything I buy, or my guy buys. My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have talked a lot lately about getting a ring/engaged and all. He’s a little hung up over the price/ how much to spend. I’ve told him how it doesn’t matter how much it costs, its the meaning behind that, but according to his “research” (adorable BTW), that the average is between 5-6k, and he doesn’t want to get me something that is less than average.

Some times I’m like okay, I REALLY don’t care about the cost, especially if we could use that money for like our wedding or buying a house. And then other times I think HEY you took out a 30K loan to buy a new car that you’re going to drive for 5 years, and I’m going to be wearing this ring for the rest of my life! So it’s a little of a strange subject that we have yet to agree on!

Anyway, congrats on the talk going good!

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