(Closed) Yea, so I think I Effed up!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsRedPumps:  uuu seems like she just invited herself and then you went along with it.  IS she a friend, do you hang out other than at the salon?  If not, be honest.  Remind her that she is a VENDOR!

Post # 4
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@MrsRedPumps:  The makeup artist doesn’t get a seat at the reception for dinner, drinks and dancing, she is hired help. My hairdresser and makeup artist were not at my reception for cocktail, dinner etc. The only vendors at my reception were the DJ and Photographers.

Post # 7
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

Um, no, she is not to have a seat at the wedding or reception.  The only people that will receive vendor meals are our photographer.

Post # 8
11419 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

It’s definitely not the norm for your hairstylist and make-up artist to be there, although mine was, since he also is a very dear friend.

Also, vendors who are  being fed during your reception usually do not sit with the wedding guests when they have their meals.  The venue generally accommodates them in a separate area.

Post # 9
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsRedPumps:  only vendors with plates for me is the wedding planner, photographer, and DJ

Post # 10
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hello,  I am sorry to bud in this conversation but while we are discussing who’s invited and who is not, I just got an email from the musician I’m thinking of hiring for the ceremony-reception and he mentionned about  taking breaks to eat and so forth; I don’t know the guy at all but am i suppose to pay for his diner. Having him for the 30 minute wedding ceremony and part of the reception is very expensive but I didn’t know I was to pay for his meal?  Any idea what you all would do?  thank you

Post # 11
82 posts
Worker bee

@Lauraine:  I play in a string quartet and we usually play the ceremony and at the reception, and never expect to be fed.  we have had couples in the past feed us, but it is the exception, not the rule.  We provide a service and are paid for that service with a prearranged fee.  I know some quartets who ask to be fed, but that should be clearly outlined before booking. Hope that is some help 🙂 

Post # 12
9118 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Lauraine:  If they’re working for you, they need to be fed. That’s just polite. All of my vendors are eating (and sitting) where the guests eat & sit.

If you don’t feed your DJ, he will leave to feed himself. If you’re okay with him potentially leaving the premesis to do so (No music?) then by all means, don’t feed him.

It is rather polite and makes you a good, gracious host, however.



Post # 13
10589 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

The only vendors who usually get an invitation are the officiant, along with their spouse, or friendors.

If you invite the makeup artist, why not the baker, florist, person who sets up linens, limo driver, hairstylists, dress consultant, etc?

If people are working through the reception, they get fed, but they aren’t invited with a paper invitation, and don’t need to be seated with guests, although I did for the photographer.


Post # 14
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

umm no she step over the line

Post # 15
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Omg what is going on with these vendors asking to be invited to the wedding and demanding to be fed lol. 

@AB Bride:  +1

If they’re working the entire time, they should be fed.  Most catering companys/venues have a separate price for the vendors.  They get a break, they get to eat, then they go back to work.  They do not sit with everyone else and party.  They are hired help, not invitees to the wedding.  LOL.. I can’t believe your MUA invited herself – except you said you were venting to her, so I don’t know if maybe she thinks you’re her friend? Were you venting during a MU trial or do you actually talk to this friend of a friend on a regular basis?  Is she doing the MU for free or a greatly discounted price?

Post # 16
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MrsRedPumps:  I’m sure you’ll have some no shows, if you still feel bad about it let her stay. But IMO she invited herself.

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