(Closed) Yeah, I wasn't expecting to freak out about this.

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@stefanielovesjamie:  Oh man. I am so glad you have gotten everything worked out. I can’t imagine going through such painful intercourse! I’m excited for you and your Darling Husband, and so happy he’s been so supportive!

I say definitely take it slow, maybe plan a whole evening where you sort of set the mood, ease into things, definitely have a glass of wine or two! Focus more on the evening as a whole, and try to naturally come to a place where you’re comfortable and and wanting to go for it!

Can you talk to your husband and sort of let him know how you’re feeling? I’m sure he will be willing to take it slow and make you comfortable.

Post # 5
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@stefanielovesjamie:  I’ve had painful intercourse, though not because of endo, and no matter, I’m ALWAYS nervous because wel,, you start to expect the pain! I hope it goes great for you, though!! You got this!

Post # 6
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@stefanielovesjamie:  First of all, take a deep breath.  It’s all going to be ok.  DH and I are going through this (kinda) right now and it’s slowly getting better. 

I was diagnosed with endometriosis in early 2012 and we got married in August ’12.  It was super uncomfortable for me for months.  Then in June ’13, I wound up in emergency surgery to have an ovary/tube removed because of the endo.  I couldn’t have sex for a couple weeks after the surgery and because of various family vacation, work conferences, etc the two weeks before that, it was about a month before I was ready again.  

We took it super slow the first night I was ready.  He gave me a full body massage to help relax and I did take some ibuprofen before (just because my incisions were stilll pretty tender). It wasn’t bad at all!  Just make sure he knows that he HAS to go slow.  It’s going to take awhile before you feel totally normal again.  Sounds weird, but if it starts to hurt, have him stop and hold that position for a few seconds, the muscles should start to relax. Do deep breathing too and that helps relax everything also. 

Quite honestly, sex is still uncomfortable for me more times than not.  At times, it borders on painful even.  I’m doing physical therapy to try and help with the muscle tension and that’s helping somewhat.  I’m only 3 weeks into it, but I’m slowly noticing a difference (that’s where the holding a position until the muscles relax and deep breathing came from). 

I hope you can enjoy some sexy time with your DH!  

Post # 7
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would try not to expect miracles the first time around. In all likelihood it will hurt… but with time it’ll get better. You’ll be nervous. It may not all be healed.. you’re used to feeling pain so you might still feel it subconsciously etc. Use lots of lube!

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