(Closed) Yearning for a baby

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

i heard babysitting is the best form of birth control.  Maybe spend a long weekend watching a friend’s baby and you could change your mind.  Or it could backfire and make your baby fever worse…

Post # 5
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I work with children too, and I have for my whole life, so it’s not good birth control for me, haha!  While I’m only 23, I just want to fast foward through all the stages it takes to move up to having a baby!  We had a “scare” over the holidays this past year, and when we found out I wasn’t, I couldn’t believe how SAD I felt!

I’m totally with you on this.  I know it’s not going to come for at least a couple years, and that’s probably the best choice so we can enjoy our married lives together for awhile, but damn, I want babies!

That and all the women’s magazines I read about biological clocks.  My mom had me when she was 20!

I guess my best advice would be to consider all the things you want to do with your man before you CAN’T do them because you have children.  That’s what I’ve been trying to do… It’s still hard, but it helps a little!

Post # 6
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Seriously, no impromptu movie dates. No sex for a long time! lol

I have never had the urge so I am not much help, sorry! I am way too selfish. All I think about is what I have to give up. Are you planning on adopting? I know when I eventually have kids, I probably would adopt at least one. My mother was adopted and I want to give a child a life he/she would not normal have had otherwise.

Post # 8
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Does your fmil know of your desire to have a child. if she does then she is being insensitive. If not then, yes, maybe just a little over reaction. though reading what you have posted of her so far, she doesn’t sound like a very nice person to begin with.

Post # 9
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Believe it or not 2012 and parenthood will be here sooner than you think.  Enjoy every moment with your fiance, and take time to do things for just the two of you… because before you know it, pregnancy and responsibility will be on your doorstep!

I’m sorry you’ve had so much trauma in your past… I certainly understand how that could color your opinion of adoption.  You sound like a survivor!

Post # 11
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Does your FI/Hubby want a baby? Have you talked to him about when he would? If it’s not now, then I would suggest creating an almost time line, more of events than dates. Say, what would you like to accomplish before we start trying? Let him know that you are ready now, and will be when he is, but let him know that it’s something you are ready for now, and not willing to wait another five years for. This actually helped me and my Boyfriend or Best Friend. I am in the same boat as you, but we have been together for less and are waiting to get engaged. I talked to him, and we got some sort of timeline together, where we could compromise. We are waiting until we have our own place all set up, and are married. He said that he wanted to wait until he has a better job (he has a good one now though) so if we are married and he still wants to wait, then that is where my part of the compromising will come in, since I recently found that I have fetility problems. I can’t get pregnant unless I go on the fertility drug, Clomid. My ovaries have been messed up since birth, so I can’t hope for an ‘oops’ of any sort. Have you asked about maybe trying on your wedding night? By saying you think it would be the icing on the cake-sort to speak. That it would be so romantic to try then.

What BC are you on now? Do you have an sort of ferility problems? This may be something you look into before trying. Get all your hormones checked and such. I had irregular periods, and that lead to me being almost infertile, for the fact that I didn’t really have any other symptoms. Maybe you can slowly lessen your form of birth control. Like, tell him you want to go off the pill, and use the pull out method. This is what we did, then we both compromised on the rhythm method-we started pulling out 3 days before and after I “ovulated” (later found out I wasn’t) and having normal intercourse all other times. After doing that for a bit, and finding out that I couldn’t get prego as of now, we are Not Trying, Not Preventing (NTNP). So I am not charting, or using ovulation predictor kits or anything, but we are having normal intercourse whenever, and using no form of birth control.

Maybe you can try a similar thing? Or bring up to him that you want to try NTNP, so it’s like a compromise?

There is a great board for this on Justmommies.com, where they have boards for newly weds, waiting to try to conceive, am i pregnant, and even my favorite: I want a baby but my partner doesn’t! It’s nice to meet other’s in your position, so see how they have handled it. I would highly suggest it!

http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f296-i-want-baby-but-my-partner-doesn-t/

It is a tough thing to go through, and I feel the emotional rollercoaster associated with it, since I am in the same boat. Give justmommies.com a try, it has really SAVED MY LIFE!

Post # 12
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Leafy, if you need any Tahoe info feel free to let me know if I can be of any help!

Post # 13
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m also sort of having baby fever.  My mom had me at 25, and I’ll be going on 27 and that mommy instinct is kicking in.  I know it won’t be in the cards for a few more years, and I know it’s not plausible in our current living/financial/etc situation but everytime I see a baby I’m like squeeeeeeeeee!

Stupid question — but do you have any pets?  I have two kitties that my mom calls her grandkids and they give me a little place to put some of that baby-love I have! :o)

Post # 14
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am having major baby fever!

I went shopping at ikea the other day and normally my mom and I walk through the kids section quickly but 2 days ago my mom was laughing at me because I kept stopping at the cribs and high chairs and such!

We are going to start trying right after we get married next year but there is a possibility of fertility challenges so who knows when it will actually happen!

Post # 16
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I bet it is the wedding planning process that is bringing some of this on! I have always been a bit hesitant on the topic of kids. I’ve always wanted kids, but never felt that ‘I want one now!’ feeling. I think part of it is because I work with special needs children, and my ideas on how much care children require is probably skewed because of that. The kids I work with need someone on top of them all day every day, so their caregivers don’t have a moment to themselves. I think that worried me for awhile.

Once I started planning a wedding, though…I don’t know. When researching wedding blogs I often come across Mommy Blogs and for the first time I stop and think – yeah…yeah, I see it! I find myself envisioning story time at the library, dressing them up to go Trick-or-Treating, vacations to DisneyWorld…and going…I think I like this! Ha ha, I am already hoping and praying that WeddingBee will start a new site called BabyBee…

One word of advice though, to you and to me. My mom was always saying to me as a child “Circus Peanut, don’t wish your life away!” This was in response to me always saying ‘I can’t wait.’ I couldn’t wait for Halloween, Christmas, vacation, whatever. And she would always respond ‘Don’t wish your life away, or you won’t have any time to enjoy what’s going on right NOW.’ Remember, this is your engagement, and a very special time in and of itself. Enjoy it!

 

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